Beat The Person Above You

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 18:31

Inuyasha levels the cliff with his Tetsusaiga.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 18:33

And Kagome promptly tells him to "Sit boy!"


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 18:39

Kagome falls to the charms of Rick Astley.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 18:43

Rick Astley becomes more remembered for the Rick Roll meme.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Volcrim on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 18:49

Kanye West interrupts the rick roll

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 18:52

First off, Volcrim's post made me laugh my ass off.

Back to business: Kanye West is crushed by the World's Biggest D-bag award.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:02

A giant Shin-chan uses the award to wipe his ass and tosses it into the ocean.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:04

The award is then gobbled up by a gay fish.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Guest on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:11

The gay fish is then captured by sailors, and is turned into quite a a dish:


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Nachtsider on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:12

The gay fish happens to be a fugu.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:13

The sailor's boat crashes into an iceberg and everyone aboard drowns with the ship.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:16

And their ghosts come back to haunt a small seaside community:


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:19

... and the ghost of Chuck Jones drops an anvil on the town... and the iceberg. it's a REALLY big anvil.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 19:20

Fortunately, the Coyote is immune to the effects of falling anvils and makes an escape.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:06

Unfortunately, the Coyote just happens to walk into a vat full of The Dip from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Toma-kun on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:20

A bag of SelectSorb brand diatomaceous earth is dumped into The Dip and is absorbed instantaneously, rendering it harmless.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:27

Nothing beats a Hoover.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Guest on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:40

The only thing that can beat a Hoover, is a Hoover, a Brave Little Toaster, a Lamp, an Electric Blanket, and a Radio, going on wonderful adventures!



Oh my god NOOOOOSSSSSSTAAAAAALGIAAAAAAA!!!

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Triela on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:44


Lightsaber cuts them all up. (OMG I haven't seen that movie is YEARSS!!!!)

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:46

lightsaber is tamed by jedi squirrels.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:47

A thing called Jar-Jar Binks causes the Star Wars franchise to bomb.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 20:53

then the franchise falls back on games to stay afloat.
...and some drunk guy (also with a lightsaber) pulls a star destroyer from orbit onto Jar Jar's head.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:00

@LoC978 wrote:...and some drunk guy (also with a lightsaber) pulls a star destroyer from orbit onto Jar Jar's head.

And there was much rejoicing...

And a statue of the man was raised on Coruscant and he was elected to the Senate by a drunk electorate, celebrating Jar Jar's death.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:02

Drunk electorate only hallucinated their Star Wars fantasies.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:06

turns out they were actually a prosecuting jury, and the killer of Jar Jar is shipped off to a prison colony on Dathomir for mass manslaughter.


...will someone blow something up with something non-starwars, now, please? don't just debunk it, DESTROY IT!

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:24

Picture of planet gets deleted by the all powerful Recycle Bin.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:26

Fortunately, it was restored from an Apple Time Capsule backup:


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:29

Rabbit eats Apple.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:31

Elmer Fudd "Kills the Rabbit!"


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 21:37

Uh oh, looks like Elmer bagged over his limit. F&G Wardens arrest him.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Thu 17 Sep 2009 - 22:22

Wardens don't see Yogi Bear's usual pilfering of picnic baskets.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Awinnell on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 9:24

Yogi gets darted and carted away as a problem bear !

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 10:18

The van carting Yogi off drives into a tree and Yogi escapes.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by SPARTAN 119 on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 11:01

The tree is cut down by a lumberjack

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 11:36

Lumberjacks get hacked apart by Leatherface and his chainsaw.


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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
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If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Awinnell on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 12:16

leatherface goes bankrupt due to the cost of the fuel for his chainsaw

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Volcrim on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 17:40

Stimulus plan bails everyone out!

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Toma-kun on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 17:54

Stimulus plan money is irresponsibly squandered on G5 airplanes:


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 18:04

The G5 plane gets into a crash thanks to the bumbling antics of the plane crew of the movie Airplane!


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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
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If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rusty-spring on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 18:22

Keanu Reeves as Spike Spiegal makes all other movies wish they were this awesome.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Fri 18 Sep 2009 - 18:29

Mad Pierrot pumps the live-action Spike actor full of lead with his bullet cane.


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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
-Joker "Batman: The Killing Joke"
If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
-Elfen in Chatbox (3/28/09)
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Guest on Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 17:33

Mad Pierrot hears THAT CREEPY BOWSER LAUGH, and dies from the shock and horror of it all.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Awinnell on Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 17:42

Nintendo leaves the serious gamer market and goes into game systems designed for drunken parties and housewives,so bowser is never heard from again !



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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 17:52

Nintendo's popular plumber Mario tosses a Bob-omb at Bowser launching him out of the forum.

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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
-Joker "Batman: The Killing Joke"
If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
-Elfen in Chatbox (3/28/09)
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 17:53

@Awinnell wrote:Nintendo leaves the serious gamer market and goes into game systems designed for drunken parties and housewives,so bowser is never heard from again!

But drunken college frats discover that throwing an iPod Touch at someone makes a more satisfying "clunk" then a Wiimote - plus you can browse porn on it one-handed.



So the tv-bound gaming console market dies and handheld gaming units take over.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Awinnell on Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 18:08

all that one handed browsing of porn leaves the other hand free for other activities and the Frat boys get hairy palms


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Sat 19 Sep 2009 - 18:18

Those "activities" lead to some rather messy hands from the porn viewing which gets discovered by the girlfriends of the frat boys who proceed to either dump them or give them a swift kick to the balls to make them think with their heads and not their crotches.

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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
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If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by West Nile on Tue 6 Oct 2009 - 11:21

Girlfriends wind up listening and worshipping Taylor Swift, queen of break-up and unrequited love songs


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by KodokuRyuu on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 2:17

Too bad Kanye West was already taken. Hmm, lets see...

Troy Bolton puts her in a comatose via gay song/dance on a golf field.

(A golf field?!? What the...)

Has anyone else noticed the extreme flaws in causality that define this thread? Future Diary has more linear logic than this does. Razz
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 2:25

finally an opportunity! Evil

the golf course in question is immediately destroyed via saturation bombing.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Nachtsider on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 3:08



Doc Manhattan disarms the bombs before they hit.

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There may be no peace for the wicked, but the righteous can damn well get a piece whenever they feel like it.
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 3:25

Jesus H. Godmod!



....
...
..
.
simultaneous artillery strikes land in the golf course grounds while the doc is busy with the bombs.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by rshackleford on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 4:26

Oh c'mon Loc, there's a far more plausible response:

Adrian Veidt gives cancer to all of the good Doctor's close friends, causing him to leave for Mars.


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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by LoC978 on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 5:06

...I couldn't leave any current teen idol types alive. it would've been unconscionable.

Veidt chokes (to death) on his own smug gittiness [/obscurescificomedyreference] (after saving the world from itself, thankfully).

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 10:47

At times I find it depressing to be one of the old folks on this forum. All the youngin's just don't know The Classics and therefore don't know the classic way to destroy a golf course.

Which, of course, is to use Carl from Caddyshack:





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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 12:37

The Mythbusters declare that movie scenario to be Busted.


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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
-Joker "Batman: The Killing Joke"
If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
-Elfen in Chatbox (3/28/09)
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Ggultra2764

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Probit Return on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 20:32

The Mythbusters have never faced the likes of Ty Webb.



Yes, I love Caddyshack.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Ggultra2764 on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 21:10

Ty gets owned by the gopher.


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"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man."
-Joker "Batman: The Killing Joke"
If the SWA told Sandro to go fuck a chicken, he would.
-Elfen in Chatbox (3/28/09)
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Ggultra2764

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Comments : To those who don't know me, I've been a Cyborg Central member since 2008 and used to assist in scanlating chapters for the Gunslinger Girl manga when it was still being published in Japan. Now, I just tend to drift around in here now and then depending on whatever random impulse implores me to float back in here. Maybe I'll stick around, maybe I won't. Depends on what real life and the Internet implore me to do.

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Re: Beat The Person Above You

Post by Probit Return on Wed 7 Oct 2009 - 21:15

Kenny Loggins appears out of nowhere and performs "I'm All Right", which forces the gopher to bust a move.

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Did you say "Nerd"?

Fission Mailed

"What do you mean 'What the hell is a Funyarinpa?' You mean... you don't know?"
"How the hell would I know?"
"How could you not know?! That's... that's practically blasphemous! Say you're sorry! Apologize to the Funyarinpa! Goodness, you are such a rude woman..."
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Re: Beat The Person Above You

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