The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Robert Frazer on Wed 2 Mar 2011 - 22:58

Continuing:

in a movement so fast only Marisa with her cybernetic eyes could detect it, he flipped it around to display the €500 bills

Good attention to detail - however privileged a position the Agency has in Italy's black budget, they're not going to be carrying around whole bags of Marie Theresa Dollars with them.

The handler stopped right in his tracks on the snowy sidewalk and muttered incredulously "Well aren't you cheeky? Are you expecting to be praised for pure dumb luck?"

She turned, and wearing a mischievous smile replied "It never hurts to ask!"

Kids learn quick.

Miss a meal or two and there was a noticeable drop off in both concentration & energy level. Factoring in the cold & 1,400 meter altitude Jean estimated his charge was burning as many as double the calories she normally required (already a considerable figure).

Which lets you play the field, pleasing both the technically-minded readers who enjoy a the nitty-gritty of cyborg physiology, and the moé crowd who are delighted to have more opportunity for cute scenes of pretty girls eating cake.

Sure. Listen; if everybody who came around here claiming to be a 'friend' of Luigi Cudia was really his friend the man might be able to borrow some money from them to pay his debts!

Interesting how two separate threads from Elio and Jean twisted together into the same yarn of Luigi's debt, it feels pretty elegant and lets the scenario seem more developed by allowing multiple approaches to the same problem.

Even when assaulted by the extraordinary power behind Rico's boot the door itself did not break...it took one more good shove from her to force it open.


And we see the reason for that when Jean notices that the door was still bolted - more good attention to detail.

Jean said, scratching down the numbers in his notebook. To him they were just that...numbers.

I wonder what Jean would do if he ever should find himself in a situation where there's no-one to charitably indulge his revenge quest.

Elio had visited the city hall that afternoon and procured some detailed maps of the area

This is an incredibly petty nitpick, I know, but seeing as they're in a mountain resort village, maybe the tourist office would be a more setting-appropriate location?

so both men hurried down the street as fast as their dress shoes (poorly suited to the slippery sidewalk surface) would allow them.

Sounds about right -a good 85% of skiing injuries happen down in the resort rather than on the mountain. of course, the difference is that if you slip on ice in the village you might get a twisted ankle, whereas if you're wiped out by a snowboarder you might be looking at a broken neck...!

At the time I thanked him but halfway up the mountain at Pen y Fan I could have murdered the bastard.

When I was training in Grantham, the UKSFR came along touting for recruits. I took one look at the video they were showing of some poor hero struggling up the Brecon Beacons and I just went "...f**k that."

Elio walked out of the restroom, back into the cigarette smoke & noise of the tavern, and it took him a few moments to notice something strange going on near the bar. His slightly intoxicated mind snapped to alert when he realized there was a scuffle going on, and it involved his companion. Damn it, Alboreto cursed himself for leaving Jean alone. It was difficult to get across the crowded room quickly without knocking people over and potentially making the situation worse but the Agent picked his way through as fast as he could. "What's going on here?"

*Sigh* Kids, you can't take them anywhere, can you?

Fernando, Jacob and his own ex-fiance's brother had all hit Croce at one point or another, and those were just the ones Elio knew about.

Avise: You asked to see me, sir?

Lorenzo: Ah, yes, Mancini, come in. I was just going through your personnel file - you haven't punched Jean yet?

Avise: Uh... um... no, sir?

Lorenzo: Tch! I'm disappointed, Mancini, I would have thought that a veteran officer would not let his paperwork build up like this. You cannot officially complete Induction until you've socked him one. Here, take this declaration, and once you're finished make sure that he signs off on both lines and tears off the counterform at the bottom for himself. You can then take the main document down to Costanza at Records, she's been waiting for it all week.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 3 Mar 2011 - 1:56

Robert Frazer wrote: however privileged a position the Agency has in Italy's black budget, they're not going to be carrying around whole bags of Marie Theresa Dollars with them.
I think it was actually you who inspired the whole "bribery roll" thing. There are few references to such a thing in canon. Giuse slipping a waiter €500 after Henrietta assaults him, and Hillshire paying a hotel clerk €200 to look up Cohen's name are the only two I can think of immediately.
She turned, and wearing a mischievous smile replied "It never hurts to ask!"
Kids learn quick.
I suppose right now she's feeling like it's a good time to push her luck...she's just screwed up (by leaving all her warm clothes in Rome) and been rewarded for it with a shopping bag full of brand new stuff.
Henrietta: Hmmm...maybe I should try that trick.

Marisa: It doesn't always turn out so well...sometimes Elio choses another way to "warm me up." (blushes, rubs backside)
pleasing both the technically-minded readers who enjoy a the nitty-gritty of cyborg physiology, and the moé crowd who are delighted to have more opportunity for cute scenes of pretty girls eating cake.
Also another opportunity to show Jean's competence. He knows he could push himself for days but that weapon of his requires regular service.
I wonder what Jean would do if he ever should find himself in a situation where there's no-one to charitably indulge his revenge quest.
I have no doubt that he'd be in jail or dead. Of course, he & Giuseppe are not exactly poor. One wonders how deep the Croce inheritance really runs.
Elio had visited the city hall that afternoon and procured some detailed maps of the area
This is an incredibly petty nitpick, I know, but seeing as they're in a mountain resort village, maybe the tourist office would be a more setting-appropriate location?
Valid point. When I wrote that I was thinking of a humourous incident from about 1991 (I was 17). I desired a good map of my village so I visited the town hall to see what they had. I was directed toward some placemat sized tourist maps pointing out various historical sites but I informed the town clerk that I was looking for something better, like a surveyors map.
Town Clerk: (a lady in her 70's) Oh...yes we have those, but we have to charge for them.

Young Voodoo: How much?

Town Clerk: A dollar.

Voodoo: (facepalm)
-a good 85% of skiing injuries happen down in the resort rather than on the mountain.
I suppose I should feel honoured to be among the select 15%. The only time I've ever been downhill skiing (Lermoos, Austria) I managed to break my hand on the very first slope I tried...but at least it happened on the mountain and not in town! As the day wore on I suppose I was guilty of a little Rico-style entertainment; crashing horrendously & repeatedly without injury is fun.

The scene was actually a set-up for the walk home, when Jean falls on his knee because he's drunk and his shoes are not snow boots.
When I was training in Grantham, the UKSFR came along touting for recruits. I took one look at the video they were showing of some poor hero struggling up the Brecon Beacons and I just went "...f**k that."
Glad you got the Pen y Fan reference. For the record I was never even tempted to try out for special forces.
*Sigh* Kids, you can't take them anywhere, can you?
Jean: It wasn't my fault! That jerk just walked in and told the penguin joke!
Lorenzo: Ah, yes, Mancini, come in. I was just going through your personnel file - you haven't punched Jean yet?
So does Jean get danger pay for repeated facial impacts or does Lorenzo just keep setting him up because he thinks it's funny?

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 3 Mar 2011 - 2:52

Professor Voodoo wrote:I suppose right now she's feeling like it's a good time to push her luck...she's just screwed up (by leaving all her warm clothes in Rome) and been rewarded for it with a shopping bag full of brand new stuff.
Henrietta: Hmmm...maybe I should try that trick.

Kara: "I find it works great!"

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 3 Mar 2011 - 2:59

Kiskaloo wrote:Kara: "I find it works great!"
Marisa just doesn't have karma like Kara.

Marisa: *%^#& karma! You'd think I burned down an orphanage or something in my previous life!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Fri 4 Mar 2011 - 12:30

Ok, so picking up from Rico bouncing on a bed...

Contrary to his concerns about blending in Nihad was finding himself quite the célébrité du jour at the ski lodge.
Sometimes standing out is useful.

There was a buffet of alpine specialties
Cyborgs + buffet, this can only go badly.

Elio: You ever wonder why there's no "all you can eat" places within a fifty-mile radius of the SWA compound? They've all gone bankrupt.

"I'll be doing the expense log tonight; how much did you go through?"
Always an unfortunate side-effect of working for a government bureaucracy.

"Jeeze, Jean..." whispered the older man, "...that's an enormous amount of sugar! Are you trying to have them bouncing off the walls all night?"
Eh, stick 'em outside for an hour, they'll quickly burn through it.

Their trip to the tavern for "a beer or two" was fast turning into an all-nighter but Elio was unconcerned.
Funny how that seems to happen, one beer becomes two, becomes three... and eventually rolls into that stage where you're too drunk to care.

Nihad was the first awake. He set about cooking breakfast, thinking the
smells would rouse everyone else, but once finished he still had to go
wake the girls.
Frying-bacon-smell: most effective alarm clock known to man. Well, it always works for me at least.

Elio shook his head. "No, it doesn't" he replied, "you just get better at dealing with it."
Truer words I imagine.

One of my favorite sections of the chapter actually, the exploration of the two characters. I also find it midly amusing the number of uses you seem to manage to find in your writing for a simple trip to the pub: from deep character exploration to outright humor.

"even if we could communicate with headquarters and get one up here it
would set off a red flag to the Padania team that we're operating in
town. Furthermore, Luigi Cudia is likely to run if he sees a
helicopter."
Not to mention that in the thinner air a chopper's going to chew fuel.

Briefly considering the consequences of such a move Elio decided there wasn't much damage they could do and consented.
Coming from someone who operates on a daily basis with the cyborgs and has spent the majority of his adult life raising a rukkus for a living... that's not entirely comforting.

"Dumb, sir, but not luck" Rico pointed out
For a second there I thought she was having a jab at Marisa.

It seemed reasonable to both cyborgs
Again, not comforting, considering who the two cyborgs in question are.

he whipped off his gloved...
I think there should be an "s" in there somewhere.

"I personally intend to to have a large dinner since we paid almost €950 euros for it."
Ferro: Nine hundred and... Right. I want all those rations collected and brought back to tha Agency. The next fratello going somewhere remote can have them and save us on rat-packs.

Another excellent chapter mate. Again, really difficult to nit-pick your work.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Robert Frazer on Fri 4 Mar 2011 - 21:56

Alfisti wrote:Frying-bacon-smell: most effective alarm clock known to man. Well, it always works for me at least.

It's how I know Islam is wrong. I mean, what kind and loving God - worthy of worship - would ever demand that His children do without bacon? It's just plain irrational.

Professor Voodoo wrote:Jean: It wasn't my fault! That jerk just walked in and told the penguin joke!

All joking aside, there's an element of tragedy - not just awkward inconvenience - beneath this scene, too. Even if a life is not always beset by continual explosive and dramatic crisis, it is still high-pitched at a taut state of cutting tension and cruel strain, which might be seen as more painful and tormenting. There's no rest for the wicked, as they say.

On with the story:

Not knowing whether to be surprised or offended, Elio took a step back and left Jean alone for a few moments. As he remained on his hands and knees Croce's lips were still moving; muttering something under his breath that Elio could not hear. The older man realized that Jean had not been talking to him at all...he was hallucinating & carrying on a conversation with someone that was visible only in his own mind.

Hmm. I wasn't expecting a visitation from Enrica so this was an interesting scene, although I'm not sure that it was altogether to my taste. Regardless of whether Enrica is actually a ghost or just the alcohol, there's always a certain air of menace attending her appearances, with her sneering expressions and strutting step. That sense of cold dread is enhanced to an icicle point by her arriving in quiet and private scenes. I don't have any problems with Elio getting a look at Jean's inner workings, but I feel that this encounter might have had a stronger effect if we switched to Jean's perspective for her appearance - maybe she's browbeating him in the mirror when he's cleaning the sick off of his face in the hotel bathroom - and then had Elio broach the topic later, saying that he was watching him through a crack in the door or something similar.

I can't remember who it was last night but it's always someone I failed to protect. My sister...my parents...Sophia...hell I even saw Beatrice once; she didn't say a thing, she just stared at me. They're always pressuring me...always berating me for not pushing hard enough.

This is, however, an intriguing alternative take on the issue in its own right. The suggestion that it's not Enrica specifically who's harrying Jean adds some more nuance to his character - it's not just the plain and straightforward issue of revenge that's aggrieving him so, it's the whole issue of neurotic drive that's afflicted himself since youth. Since his grandfather's funeral Jean has forced himself into the uncomfortable mould of "a cold-hearted person" who pushes on relentlessly and demandingly because that's what he feels people expect of him, but being crushed into that box is causing him pain even now.

Jean shook his head. "Not practical" he replied "even if we could communicate with headquarters and get one up here it would set off a red flag to the Padania team that we're operating in town.

Well, they could always pretend to be heliskiers, but I take the point - observers might be suspicious anyway.

"It's spectacular" gasped the red-head, "it's so clear." She took her eyes off the view and said directly to Rico "Almost worth getting frozen down to our bones to see this!" As the Agency's designated diving cyborg Mari was no stranger to breathtaking sights, but underwater, even under the best of conditions visibility ran out in less than 30 meters...usually much less. With their sharp mechanical eyes the girls could pick out every detail for hundreds of square kilometers around them; Rico enthusiastically pointed at a peregrine falcon riding the air currents about 2000 meters away.

I can certainly empathise with Marisa here.

The man was stripped to his boxer shorts and taped to a chair with his feet in a tub of what was now solid ice. A plastic cup half frozen in the tub, and icicles hanging all over his body told the story. The Padania hit squad had gotten there first and used cold to provide the traitor with a horrific death. Cups of water had been poured over Cudia as he slowly froze. His face was locked in an expression of terror...it was likely that his cause of death was a heart attack but he had obviously suffered intensely before that happened.


Eeeeeeeeesh. I always think that a setting should be more than a mere backdrop and its features should be actively entwined with the action, but geez... that's not cricket.

Jean Croce had no argument to counter that, so he grudgingly climbed into the bed and under the covers with the rest, Rico tucked comfortably under his left arm.

I love that last little detail with Rico. The whole scenario is deliciously warped really, one of those discomfiting juxtapositions that helps give GSG its character - the kids are in the bed like they're huddling in with their parents during a stormy night - but that stormy night is rarely Alpine winter with risk of lead hail!

He wasn't sure what surprised him more...Rico remembering such an arcane detail from History class, or the fact that Avise Mancini had actually said something remotely positive about the Soviets.

Avise: Eh, I just sit down in my chair before bedtime and spend a while thinking about how all that fyceline stench wafting up from their weapons was rotting their brains day by day, it helps makes up for the slip.

Elio: ...okay, Mancini, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that and so not have to realise that you're a maladjusted, obsessive freak.

Avise: Judge not, lest ye be judged, Mr. AWOL-to-chase-skirt-while-on-SF-assignment.

"I dare say Jean Croce just made a joke!" chuckled the older man.

An interesting battle with plenty of movement. The only thing it missed was a Padanian getting clotheslined when Marisa took a ski and battered-up like it's the World Series. Wink

With a grin and an approving nod Alboreto answered "First round is on me."

Woah there, Elio! Now that the mission's over you'd better make sure you can still claim this all on expenses before you start paying resort prices!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 7:18

Thanks for the continued feedback, both Alfisti & Robert! I'll answer these in two posts so I don't blow a mental fuse trying to get the quoting right...
Alfisti wrote:
Contrary to his concerns about blending in Nihad was finding himself quite the célébrité du jour at the ski lodge.
Sometimes standing out is useful.
This is actually the passage I got stalled on for nearly two months...seems odd when I go back and re-read it.
Cyborgs + buffet, this can only go badly.

Elio: You ever wonder why there's no "all you can eat" places within a fifty-mile radius of the SWA compound? They've all gone bankrupt.
Another reason Elio did not bring Mari along on his secret mission (with Minister Petris) to the US!

Marisa: But Elio...if you can eat the entire 96 ounce steak in one sitting it's free! I can do it, I know I can!

Random story; a friend of mine from dive school named Toshiyuki once took on the "eat 5-liters of Ramen in one sitting and it's free" challenge (in Tokyo). Both he & his friend were unsuccessful but it begs the question; Just how much do you actually save by getting 5 liters of Ramen for free?
"Jeeze, Jean..." whispered the older man, "...that's an enormous amount of sugar! Are you trying to have them bouncing off the walls all night?"
Eh, stick 'em outside for an hour, they'll quickly burn through it.
Rico might be gleefully sliding down the hill again but I'm picturing a forlorn Marisa with her face pressed against the door like a cat caught out in the rain. For some reason I also picture Monty sitting inside; content with a roaring fire & her snifter of brandy, utterly ignoring Mari's plaintive scratching at the glass.
Frying-bacon-smell: most effective alarm clock known to man. Well, it always works for me at least.
I intentionally left the breakfast menu vauge because I honestly don't know what typical Northern Italian breakfast is like. I based the previous night's dinner buffet on Southern Bavarian cooking, which I assume would be similar to Alpine Italian, but I was clueless as to what was for breakfast because I never made it downstairs for that meal (I blame Bavarian lager for that).
I also find it midly amusing the number of uses you seem to manage to find in your writing for a simple trip to the pub: from deep character exploration to outright humor.
That's always how it turns out when I pull an all-nighter at the pub.
Briefly considering the consequences of such a move Elio decided there wasn't much damage they could do and consented.
Coming from someone who operates on a daily basis with the cyborgs and has spent the majority of his adult life raising a rukkus for a living... that's not entirely comforting.
I was setting the reader up here. Hopefully you were expecting a riotous Rico & Marisa on snowmobiles scene but you got the Padania attack instead.

Still, a cyborgs on snowmobiles scene would have been cool.
"Dumb, sir, but not luck" Rico pointed out
For a second there I thought she was having a jab at Marisa.
In my universe Henrietta might toss out a jab like that on her friendly rival, but not Rico. Even poking fun at a Padania sniper seems a bit smug & cocky for her.
I think there should be an "s" in there somewhere.
You're right. Thanks...noted for change.

"I personally intend to to have a large dinner since we paid almost €950 euros for it."
Ferro: Nine hundred and... Right. I want all those rations collected and brought back to tha Agency. The next fratello going somewhere remote can have them and save us on rat-packs.
It's still less than Pagani spent on delivery during his last stake-out!

Moving on to Robert...

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 9:26

Robert Frazer wrote:
Alfisti wrote:Frying-bacon-smell: most effective alarm clock known to man. Well, it always works for me at least.
It's how I know Islam is wrong. I mean, what kind and loving God - worthy of worship - would ever demand that His children do without bacon? It's just plain irrational.
This should interest the archeologist in you. It's (paraphrased) from a short piece in National Geographic magazine: It's always been assumed that the Old Testament prohibition on eating pork was based on the common sense assumption that pork could not be safely kept in the Middle Eastern climate. Ongoing excavations of Philistine ruins seem to contradict that...their landfills are chock full of pig bones, implying that they were successful at the husbandry of pigs for generations.
This would suggest that the Rabbinical edicts against pork had less to do with food safety than they did with local economics...an ancient boycott of their rivals product!
I wasn't expecting a visitation from Enrica so this was an interesting scene, although I'm not sure that it was altogether to my taste. Regardless of whether Enrica is actually a ghost or just the alcohol, there's always a certain air of menace attending her appearances
Valid point. I felt Yu had already covered the experience of a "visitation" in canon so I was shooting for a more cryptic, disjointed look at it...Elio stepping back and thinking What the hell is going on? This guy is more fucked up than I thought he was. Continuing on the same vein...
This is, however, an intriguing alternative take on the issue in its own right. The suggestion that it's not Enrica specifically who's harrying Jean adds some more nuance to his character - it's not just the plain and straightforward issue of revenge that's aggrieving him so, it's the whole issue of neurotic drive that's afflicted himself since youth. Since his grandfather's funeral Jean has forced himself into the uncomfortable mould of "a cold-hearted person" who pushes on relentlessly and demandingly because that's what he feels people expect of him, but being crushed into that box is causing him pain even now.
I'm one of those who subscribes to the "alcoholic hallucination" outlook rather than the "real ghost of Enrica" angle. The latter explanation is no less valid...this is fiction after all and if cybernetic loli's can exist ghosts certainly can as well.

Attributing the visions to booze does allow for multiple visitors, since it's all going on in Jean's head. Personally I don't think I'll be pursuing the plot device much more than this though...but who knows, it might become useful in a future story.

Well, they could always pretend to be heliskiers, but I take the point - observers might be suspicious anyway.
Helicopter insertion would be the logical choice here, but that wouldn't have allowed for the isolation that set up the final fire-fight. I kept dropping hints about the difficulty of using wireless communications (Nihad had to go along personally to set up logistics, Jean couldn't get his reports e-mailed off) to further set up the team's isolation. Admittedly, that's a feeble excuse for not being able to procure a chopper.

"It's spectacular" gasped the red-head, "it's so clear."
I can certainly empathise with Marisa here.
I guessed you would, having just returned from skiing in France. An unbelievable view was the most vivid memory I have of my one ski expedition to Austria. Despite breaking my hand & not being all that successful at learning to ski (downhill) I'd consider the trip money well spent just for that view. And I don't even have cyborg eyes.
Eeeeeeeeesh. I always think that a setting should be more than a mere backdrop and its features should be actively entwined with the action, but geez... that's not cricket.
Glad that came across. I was hoping to send a chill down a few spines.
He wasn't sure what surprised him more...Rico remembering such an arcane detail from History class, or the fact that Avise Mancini had actually said something remotely positive about the Soviets.

Avise: Eh, I just sit down in my chair before bedtime and spend a while thinking about how all that fyceline stench wafting up from their weapons was rotting their brains day by day, it helps makes up for the slip.
Rather than burden my stories with socio-political debate I'm just treating Mancini's single minded disgust for all things Communist as a character quirk that all Section 2 knows about.
Avise: Judge not, lest ye be judged, Mr. AWOL-to-chase-skirt-while-on-SF-assignment.
Elio: It was the early '70's, Mancini, the era of free love!

Avise: Wasn't that the 60's?

Elio: I don't care. It's the 2000's now and I'm still doing it thanks to those little blue pills.
The only thing it missed was a Padanian getting clotheslined when Marisa took a ski and battered-up like it's the World Series. Wink
That would have been a good touch. I briefly considered letting Mari dispatch the last one with a ski-pole to the skull but opted for another reference to the cold instead.
Woah there, Elio! Now that the mission's over you'd better make sure you can still claim this all on expenses before you start paying resort prices!
Oh but that's why he chose the working-class tavern frequented by the locals instead of the tourist place.
Elio: Hey, Pieri...you ordered me to work with Jean, right? Mentor him & such?

Lorenzo: I suppose.

Elio: So drinking with him is technically part of my job, right?

Lorenzo: I don't like the direction this is heading...

Elio: So I should be able to write off the bar tab as an Agency expense!

Lorenzo: Just get the hell out of my office.

Once again, thanks for the feedback!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 11:10

Professor Voodoo wrote:Random story; a friend of mine from dive school named Toshiyuki once took on the "eat 5-liters of Ramen in one sitting and it's free" challenge (in Tokyo). Both he & his friend were unsuccessful but it begs the question; Just how much do you actually save by getting 5 liters of Ramen for free?
Well I dunno what it's like in the US, but in Australia a decent bowl of ramen will run you between seven and fourteen dollars. As to what it was worth in Tokyo... honestly I wasn't paying a lot of attention. I was just happy that I was handing some bloke funny money and he was putting food and beer infront of me in return.

Rico might be gleefully sliding down the hill again but I'm picturing a forlorn Marisa with her face pressed against the door like a cat caught out in the rain. For some reason I also picture Monty sitting inside; content with a roaring fire & her snifter of brandy, utterly ignoring Mari's plaintive scratching at the glass.
Monty: Did you ear something? Throw another log on the fire Skipper.

Seriously, the mental image made my night... which is saying a lot considering we're talking a night that involved sitting around, drinking wine, eating chese and binge-watching Luc Besson films.

I intentionally left the breakfast menu vauge because I honestly don't know what typical Northern Italian breakfast is like. I based the previous night's dinner buffet on Southern Bavarian cooking, which I assume would be similar to Alpine Italian, but I was clueless as to what was for breakfast because I never made it downstairs for that meal (I blame Bavarian lager for that).
I guess I've always pictured it as the sort of "standard" continental breakfast: cold meats, bread and spreads with hot coffee and/or sweet flavoured tea. At least, that's what I remember getting most places I've visited in Europe.

For a second there I thought she was having a jab at Marisa.
In my universe Henrietta might toss out a jab like that on her friendly rival, but not Rico. Even poking fun at a Padania sniper seems a bit smug & cocky for her.
True, maybe it's just because I'm an arse but that's how I read it. Razz

It's still less than Pagani spent on delivery during his last stake-out!
I was under the impression that Michele mostly picked up his own tab.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 13:10

Alfisti wrote:
It's still less than Pagani spent on delivery during his last stake-out!

I was under the impression that Michele mostly picked up his own tab.

Michele doesn't "sweat the details" - if he needs to pick up the tab, he does.

But he's smart enough to know that if someone else is willing to pay for it...

...let them. Wink

A lesson, alas, that Kara has learned too well...





Kara: "I heard that!"

Michele: "Damn cyborg hearing."

Kara: "I heard that, too!"

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What? I like donuts! - Betty Suarez
If I die before my time, go on Oprah and tell the world 'I liked kittens'. - Veronica Mars
Scissors of victory! - Yui Hirasawa
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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 19:02

Kiskaloo wrote:A lesson, alas, that Kara has learned too well...

Kara: "I heard that!"

Michele: "Damn cyborg hearing."

Kara: "I heard that, too!"
Jethro: Told you: nothing.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 21:21

Alfisti wrote: in Australia a decent bowl of ramen will run you between seven and fourteen dollars.
Fuuuuuuuck! I hope it's a much more "high-end" Ramen than I was thinking of. Here in the US it's typically a dried brick that costs about 16 cents in the grocery store. I don't know of a single place where you can buy a pre-made bowl of Ramen in my area...although up in Kisk's neck of the woods there are dozens of Vietnamese Pho places.
Seriously, the mental image made my night... which is saying a lot considering we're talking a night that involved sitting around, drinking wine, eating chese and binge-watching Luc Besson films.
Marisa: (teeth chattering) I'm so g-glad you enjoyed my s-suffering, Mr. Alfisti! Maybe n-next I should strip to my underwear and let the Padanians p-pour ice water all over me so you c-c-can have a real laugh!

Monty: Just be quiet and drink this (hands over brandy snifter).

Jethro: You sure that's a good idea?

Monty: It'll warm her up and knock her out at the same time.
I guess I've always pictured it as the sort of "standard" continental breakfast: cold meats, bread and spreads with hot coffee and/or sweet flavoured tea. At least, that's what I remember getting most places I've visited in Europe.
None of which Nihad would need to cook, which is why I left the menu vague. Normally I go into more detail about the food.
I was under the impression that Michele mostly picked up his own tab.
Kiskaloo wrote: Michele doesn't "sweat the details" - if he needs to pick up the tab, he does.
But he's smart enough to know that if someone else is willing to pay for it...
...let them.
You don't get rich by paying for everything yourself!






Still; I can't picture Kara accepting the traditional stake-out menu of day old pizza and Chinese food in a paper box.

Jean shows up at the location with Rico...ready to relieve the Pagani fratello. There is a man on the balcony grilling on a portable hibachi.

Jean: What the hell is going on here? Who is that on the balcony?

Kara: Well, it's a stake-out, right? So I got to thinking and decided we needed to call Claude-Phillipe in from Paris to grill us some Kobe steaks...get it? And of course, you can't have steak without lobster, right? Grab a plate!

Jean: (facepalm)

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 21:49

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Alfisti wrote: in Australia a decent bowl of ramen will run you between seven and fourteen dollars.


Fuuuuuuuck! I hope it's a much more "high-end" Ramen than I was thinking of. Here in the US it's typically a dried brick that costs about 16 cents in the grocery store. I don't know of a single place where you can buy a pre-made bowl of Ramen in my area...although up in Kisk's neck of the woods there are dozens of Vietnamese Pho places.

We also have some pretty solid ramen shops.

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Alfisti wrote:I was under the impression that Michele mostly picked up his own tab.
Kiskaloo wrote: Michele doesn't "sweat the details" - if he needs to pick up the tab, he does.
But he's smart enough to know that if someone else is willing to pay for it...
...let them.

You don't get rich by paying for everything yourself!




Still; I can't picture Kara accepting the traditional stake-out menu of day old pizza and Chinese food in a paper box.

Jean shows up at the location with Rico...ready to relieve the Pagani fratello. There is a man on the balcony grilling on a portable hibachi.

Jean: What the hell is going on here? Who is that on the balcony?

Kara: Well, it's a stake-out, right? So I got to thinking and decided we needed to call Claude-Phillipe in from Paris to grill us some Kobe steaks...get it? And of course, you can't have steak without lobster, right? Grab a plate!

Jean: (facepalm)

Kara: "And we're only using Kobe because I couldn't get Mishima..."

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Sat 5 Mar 2011 - 21:54

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Alfisti wrote: in Australia a decent bowl of ramen will run you between seven and fourteen dollars.
Fuuuuuuuck! I hope it's a much more "high-end" Ramen than I was thinking of. Here in the US it's typically a dried brick that costs about 16 cents in the grocery store. I don't know of a single place where you can buy a pre-made bowl of Ramen in my area...although up in Kisk's neck of the woods there are dozens of Vietnamese Pho places.
Yeah, I was talking proper Ramen. Instant ramen still costs about 26cents. Hanaichi, who do Japanese fast food (so Ramen, Japanese Curry, Soba noodles andt he like) will run you about seven bucks. Ajisen who specialise in Ramen runs between ten and sixteen.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 9 Mar 2011 - 15:51

Kiskaloo wrote:

Kara: Well, it's a stake-out, right? So I got to thinking and decided we needed to call Claude-Phillipe in from Paris to grill us some Kobe steaks...get it? And of course, you can't have steak without lobster, right? Grab a plate!

Jean: (facepalm)

Kara: "And we're only using Kobe because I couldn't get Mishima..."
Marisa passes on some "Elio stake-out tricks" to the other girls.

Marisa: Smear a little butter or olive oil onto each piece of bread...

Rico: Okay.

Marisa: Now put a slab of whatever cheese you like between the bread slices and press down hard with the clothes iron! Don't forget to do both sides.

Lucy: Easy grilled cheese sandwich! That actually works pretty good!

Later on...

Kara: Does my blouse smell like cheese to you?

Michele: Huh? Actually it does.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 9 Mar 2011 - 16:38

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Marisa passes on some "Elio stake-out tricks" to the other girls.

Marisa: Smear a little butter or olive oil onto each piece of bread...

Rico: Okay.

Marisa: Now put a slab of whatever cheese you like between the bread slices and press down hard with the clothes iron! Don't forget to do both sides.

Lucy: Easy grilled cheese sandwich! That actually works pretty good!

Later on...

Kara: Does my blouse smell like cheese to you?

Michele: Huh? Actually it does.

Kara checks the underside of her iron and then hands it to Beatrice, who gives it a quick sniff and then nods her head.

Kara: "CLARKSON!!!!"

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Sun 20 Mar 2011 - 2:33

Re: Marisa 10: Operation Copperhead
Heh, I loved Marisa chatting peacefully with the subway punks. And Elio rediscovering his youth through Mari's enthusiasm for the skydiving (and his gripes once Marisa ropes him into her impossible plan).

Speaking of impossible plans, if there's a problem with the hostage rescue it's that everything goes too well! I expected some nasty business on the roof, maybe Elio and Marisa having to fight a wounded terrorist while at the same time trying to get untangled from their chutes, or a tense hunt though the floors for the missing terrorist. A greater sense of unpredictability - even chaos from the point-of-view of the handlers - would make the situation appear more tense. Things always go wrong, even with elite HRTs.

Also we don't 'see' the hostages; they're too much like an unimportant MacGuffin that has to be secured, rather than real people whose lives are the whole point of the exercise.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Fri 8 Apr 2011 - 2:26

Odon wrote:Re: Marisa 10: Operation Copperhead
I totally missed this post three weeks ago when you made it...sorry about that.
I loved Marisa chatting peacefully with the subway punks.
That scene is a direct reference to Raballo's try-out mission for Claes in Chapter 6.

Elio rediscovering his youth through Mari's enthusiasm for the skydiving
I've only done one skydive myself (I'd love to do it again). Like motorcycling & SCUBA diving it's something I feel I can never really do justice in words.
if there's a problem with the hostage rescue it's that everything goes too well! I expected some nasty business on the roof, maybe Elio and Marisa having to fight a wounded terrorist while at the same time trying to get untangled from their chutes, or a tense hunt though the floors for the missing terrorist. A greater sense of unpredictability - even chaos from the point-of-view of the handlers - would make the situation appear more tense. Things always go wrong, even with elite HRTs.
Good point...I thought that later as well. There are a few complications (Elio's chute nearly drags him off the roof...Marisa does miss one of the hostage takers) but they were not the focus of the story. I guess I was trying to spread attention around all of the teams, not give too much "screen time" to just one...even if they are my own fratello!
Also we don't 'see' the hostages;
Yeah, they did appear originally but that scene got cut because it took away from the emotional climax of Triela learning which of her GIS friends had been killed. I explained it away with an oblique reference to Stockholm Syndrome.
(Petra's line) "So do we get to release the hostages now?"

"Elio says no...he says we can't allow them to see us, plus something about them being from Stockholm or something, I didn't understand it all." said Mari with a shrug of her shoulders "GIS & Carabinieri will be up to take the credit as soon as we're gone."

"Figures" sighed Petrushka. "I wonder what Mr. Alboreto has against Swedish people?"

Thanks for the feedback, Odon...specific favorites/critique like this help a lot!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 0:09

Marisa 13: Shakespeare in the Dorm

Allison had made record time getting out of the city and driven the rural roads at ludicrous speed
Ludicrous Speed? Isn't that the one from Spaceballs that makes your brains go into your feet?

Gina, playing Portia, held her final kiss with Bassanio way too long for comfort, only releasing Triela when she started to squirm.

Ah, nothing like some gratuitous Les Yay...

This was great, but you didn't say what the bomb squad girls did on performance night! I don't think "Merchant of Venice" has spear carriers so I thought they'd be walking pieces of scenery.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Mon 25 Apr 2011 - 3:18

Re: Alpine Assignment

A good premise, exploring how the cyborgs function in a different environment from the usual urban battlegrounds. Speaking of which, I hope we'll see Marisa engage in underwater combat with a team of Padania frogmen someday.

Rico had found happiness on a small slope of about seven meters. After getting a running start each time, she tossed herself downhill face first to slide down on the front of her coat. Even when she slid too far and thumped her head on the back of a wooden coffee kiosk Rico's enthusiasm remained undampened; she just scrambled back up the hill for another thrilling slide accompanied by triumphant laughter.

Rico proved much better at falling and sliding down the hill face first

I'm glad to see you put her Chekov's Skill to good use. Wink

The cyborg hopped up out of her cover and threw herself face first down the roof, sliding on the front of her coat. The thick snow made it easy to transition to the ground, and with her CZ leading the way she continued her slide straight into the trees.

It's interesting that Elio doesn't ask Nihad if he's the boy he met in Ethiopia, but that's actually a realistic character point. An older and more jaded person like him would know the odds were unlikely and just assume the name was a mere coincidence.

Rico seemed content, and as long as she did not cost the SWA money by damaging the coffee kiosk with her head Jean saw no reason to sanction her.

Seems to contradict the "Il Teatrino" scene when Jean got annoyed at Rico just for walking on the curb, but they were 'working' on that occasion (keeping an eye out for radicals) so his response here is quite appropriate. After all, if Jean cracked down on Rico every time she goofed around she'd be more like Elsa in personality.

Croce tried the usual detective tricks; he looked for a notepad next to the telephone (hoping to find at least the impression of numbers) but found nothing.

Tricks plural, so I felt you ought to have listed a couple of other ones here, if only to show how thoroughly they're searching. Checking the underside of drawers for anything taped there, perhaps. (Mmm, I need to read some detective novels set in Italy. I've noticed a few out there).

Cups of water had been poured over Cudia as he slowly froze.

I certainly give you points for originality here. Haven't heard of that torture method before.

This is actually the passage I got stalled on for nearly two months...seems odd when I go back and re-read it.

That sounds familiar. You're still writing a hell of a lot more than I ever do. It takes me over a year to write a story this long, if I ever do.

Regarding Rico's handgun vs sniper moment...

Besides...Rico is just shit hot.

...you've got to be careful about making the girls too hot. In canon marksmenship is clearly shown to be a learned skill as opposed to being an inate part of their cyborg abilities. We see Jean chewing out Rico on the range at one point (during Triela's introductory episode) and while she's undoubtedly improved since then she's not Kirika from "Noir" either, even if Rico would look cute dressed a seifuku and sharing her bed with a beautiful French assassin in a miniskirt....

Mmmm. I wonder if Rico has shown Kara the cuddling pillow Jean gave her.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Mon 25 Apr 2011 - 23:57

Odon wrote:Ludicrous Speed? Isn't that the one from Spaceballs that makes your brains go into your feet?
Ferro: Check...Spaceballs goes straight on the banned films list.

Elio: You understand that won't stop the older girls from trying to drive at Ludicrous Speed.
you didn't say what the bomb squad girls did on performance night! I don't think "Merchant of Venice" has spear carriers so I thought they'd be walking pieces of scenery.
You're right, I didn't go into much depth about the individual roles each girl got but since everyone was pretty bad they'd fit right in.
Re: Alpine Assignment
I hope we'll see Marisa engage in underwater combat with a team of Padania frogmen someday.
She gets to dive in two upcoming episodes; as for the classic Bond vs. Frogmen fight, certainly a possibility...
Seems to contradict the "Il Teatrino" scene when Jean got annoyed at Rico just for walking on the curb, but they were 'working' on that occasion (keeping an eye out for radicals) so his response here is quite appropriate. After all, if Jean cracked down on Rico every time she goofed around she'd be more like Elsa in personality.
Good observation, an angle I hadn't considered. The scene was inserted to provide a contrast between Rico's love of snow and Marisa's disdain for the cold. As for Jean; unlike some others I don't portray him as needlessly cruel...just focused to a point where things that don't concern him don't influence his actions.
Croce tried the usual detective tricks; he looked for a notepad next to the telephone (hoping to find at least the impression of numbers) but found nothing.
Tricks plural, so I felt you ought to have listed a couple of other ones here, if only to show how thoroughly they're searching. Checking the underside of drawers for anything taped there, perhaps.
I think I re-wrote that section a few times...the wording is a bit sloppy.
Regarding Rico's handgun vs sniper moment...

...you've got to be careful about making the girls too hot. In canon marksmenship is clearly shown to be a learned skill as opposed to being an inate part of their cyborg abilities. We see Jean chewing out Rico on the range at one point (during Triela's introductory episode) and while she's undoubtedly improved
I suppose I could have inserted a line explaining that the sniper Rico shot first was not that far away (probably 15 meters or less)...this was not a case of her taking out a sniper in the dark at 500m.
I wonder if Rico has shown Kara the cuddling pillow Jean gave her.
Seems to me Rico has shown that pillow to everyone.

Thanks for the feedback, once again!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Tue 26 Apr 2011 - 0:07

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Odon wrote:Re: Alpine Assignment
I hope we'll see Marisa engage in underwater combat with a team of Padania frogmen someday.
She gets to dive in two upcoming episodes; as for the classic Bond vs. Frogmen fight, certainly a possibility...

Michele: "Just as long as you don't need to sink my Avanti..."

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Wed 27 Apr 2011 - 2:06

Professor Voodoo wrote:You're right, I didn't go into much depth about the individual roles each girl got but since everyone was pretty bad they'd fit right in.

I also should have said that the way the audience liked it regardless was also accurate; I see it all the time in amateur theatre. No doubt the origin of "It'll be all right on the night" belief.

I apologise for the dis-ordered nature of my feedback by the way. I started off not particularly interested in the whole idea of OC characters, and was just going to read a few stories to get a handle on what everyone on this forum was talking about. But I've been surprised by just how much work has gone into their creation, and have gradually become hooked on their various adventures and shenanigans.

Anyway, before I just skimmed through some M&E stories, but I've gradually found myself getting more and more into them, so now I'm going back to read them properly and give feedback, hence the disorder.

Just a couple of comments Re: Palmero Roundup

I loved the way you had them watching from a distance as Marisa takes out the guys on the yacht. Genuinely chilling the way the distant horror is constrasted with the everyday scene around them. One question: How does Marisa jump out of the water so high? I know crocs can do it with those big tails, but if she can leap high enough to snag someone fishing off a yacht…

"That could be a problem if he runs...it looks like it would take a bomb to get through that door."

Mmm, I guess Marisa will just have to use her head if that happens. Smile

After yesterday's long boring stakeout Henrietta was happy to be out in the sun getting a little exercise with Giuseppe. (etc)

This was a good opening, the way it looks like Henrietta is just out enjoying the sights with her handler, only for it to be revealed that she's running down a mark.

"Fortunate," replied Sandro, "it's best that we do the grab before the lunch hour when that bank really fills up with customers."

Avise shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"Does it offend your sense of law & order?" joked Rissi.

"On the contrary," laughed Mancini, "it's kind of been a daydream fantasy of mine since boyhood. Let's get to work."

It's a bit confusing when you switch between using Sandro/Rissi, Avise/Mancini, Elio/Alberto, etc.

"Knives as well" Avise told the cyborgs, "and anything else you've got on you." Over the next few moments 4 knives, a length of piano wire, three razor blades and a pressurized cigarette lighter that doubled as a one-use-only flame thrower were all deposited at the feet of the two handlers.

Ah, the 'extended disarming' gag is always good for a laugh. My favourite one was in that movie where Clint Eastwood disrobes and disarms along with his female partner in the Secret Service, only to be interrupted before things can get interesting. "Now I've got to put all that shit back on!"

"Oh come on, it's just for fun" Petra teased, flipping through the pages of a particularly hardcore publication until she came to the centerfold, which she pulled out at full length and showed to her partner.

An interesting touch here; Petra still seems innocent despite her 'vast experience'. Sex is just an enjoyable activity she does with Sandro. There's nothing naughty or wicked about it, as how could her handler be asking her to do anything that's morally wrong? As a conditioned girl she's isolated from all the baggage society dumps on teenage sexuality. To Petra it's as natural to sleep with an older man as it is to be shooting terrorists, whereas Agapita would (subconsciously or otherwise) pick up her handler's more conservative views on the subject.

A few moments later the two handlers on the adjacent roof were puzzled by the sight of Captain Gino Rocca's socks, underwear & shirts being tossed out the bathroom window into the alley below.

Avise: "It's a code!"

Rissi: "Five blue shirts must mean five Padania sympathisers inside...a dozen black socks...number of weapons found...red underwear?"

Avise: "Red underwear means caution..."

Rissi: "Really? I always thought it meant charge right in!"

Avise: "You would!"





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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 4 May 2011 - 5:29

Odon wrote: I started off not particularly interested in the whole idea of OC characters, and was just going to read a few stories to get a handle on what everyone on this forum was talking about. But I've been surprised by just how much work has gone into their creation, and have gradually become hooked on their various adventures and shenanigans.
I too felt that "Original Characters" were a fanfiction cliché used mostly for Mary Sue style self insertion before getting involved in the forum. Obviously I've warmed to the idea; for me the biggest advantage of creating one's own characters is that you can develop them without messing with the canon cast.

Yu does not do much character development at all. I'd venture to say there was almost zero in the first season anime. That makes things rather easy for a fan-fic writer...when the canon characters don't change much it's easy to insert your own pair anywhere into the time-line.

As for the other big fan-fiction cliché...no, I am never writing a crossover.
One question: How does Marisa jump out of the water so high? I know crocs can do it with those big tails, but if she can leap high enough to snag someone fishing off a yacht…
I admit, there is some suspention of disbelief here. When things seem improbable I just don't go into too much detail. She is a cyborg...one specifically designed to work in water...so that's got to be good for a few feet out of the water, high enough perhaps to catch an ankle, or a neck if the unfortunate target is leaning over the side.
"That could be a problem if he runs...it looks like it would take a bomb to get through that door."
Mmm, I guess Marisa will just have to use her head if that happens. Smile
D'Oh! Don't encourage her!

Marisa: Betcha I can hammer a nail into a plank with my head!

Monty: I'll bet you that's not even the dumbest thing you've done today.
it looks like Henrietta is just out enjoying the sights with her handler, only for it to be revealed that she's running down a mark.
Glad you liked it. For Henrietta, time away from the others with her handler is the focus of the mission...that terrorist she's tasked with running down is just an excuse to spend time with Giuse.

It's a bit confusing when you switch between using Sandro/Rissi, Avise/Mancini, Elio/Alberto, etc.
Not much I can do about that I'm afraid. The alternative is over-repetition of the name, or the dreaded pronoun overload.

Petra still seems innocent despite her 'vast experience'. Sex is just an enjoyable activity she does with Sandro. There's nothing naughty or wicked about it, as how could her handler be asking her to do anything that's morally wrong? As a conditioned girl she's isolated from all the baggage society dumps on teenage sexuality. To Petra it's as natural to sleep with an older man as it is to be shooting terrorists, whereas Agapita would (subconsciously or otherwise) pick up her handler's more conservative views on the subject.
I'm one of those who leaves the whole "Is Petrushka banging her handler?" question up in the air. Agapita certainly implies it in this scene...angering Petra. Is she angered because it's untrue...or because Agapita was insinuating there's something wrong with it? That too I leave ambiguous.
The Petra-Sandro-sex debate has filled many pages on this forum, but personally I think the "we don't know and they're not telling" angle is the most fun.

As always...thanks for the feedback!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by ElfenMagix on Wed 4 May 2011 - 16:21

Professor Voodoo wrote:
One question: How does Marisa jump out of the water so high? I know crocs can do it with those big tails, but if she can leap high enough to snag someone fishing off a yacht…
I admit, there is some suspention of disbelief here. When things seem improbable I just don't go into too much detail. She is a cyborg...one specifically designed to work in water...so that's got to be good for a few feet out of the water, high enough perhaps to catch an ankle, or a neck if the unfortunate target is leaning over the side.
Adding a personal note here:
In my younger days of lige guarding and watersafety with the police dept., I was able to kick myself out of the water up to my knees. In later years, running the summer daycamp at a comminty center, I was able to kick myself up to my waist. Now, at my age and condition, I would say up to my belly button. But in doing so, I'm fighting water resistance and gravity, and the strength in my wonder days was remarkable (it still is when needed).

Marisa, under Elio's tutelage would be a superb swimmer. As a cyborg, she would be able to do inhuman actions of swimming. Keeping her under control, however, would be the most demanding job Elio has to do because she would be able to out-swim him in speed and distance. I would consider Marisa's swimming skills as to equal or better Nuku Nuku (All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl) when wearing and using the Mermaid RX73 attachments.


Sorry for the long YouTube. Could not find a shorter version... But it shows Nuku Nuku before and after the Mermaid RX73.



Also This episode's starting seqences has her ablitlies as a cyborg and with the Mermaid RX73 (missing in the video- DAM THEM!)

Now apply them to Marisa and... uh oh...

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Wed 4 May 2011 - 17:07

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Odon wrote: I started off not particularly interested in the whole idea of OC characters, and was just going to read a few stories to get a handle on what everyone on this forum was talking about. But I've been surprised by just how much work has gone into their creation, and have gradually become hooked on their various adventures and shenanigans.
I too felt that "Original Characters" were a fanfiction cliché used mostly for Mary Sue style self insertion before getting involved in the forum. Obviously I've warmed to the idea; for me the biggest advantage of creating one's own characters is that you can develop them without messing with the canon cast.
I think this forum tends to, on average and as long as the creators putting in a resonable amount of effort, breed pretty good OCs. Possibly because OC development tends to become a bit of a collaborative effort there's always someone to gently remind you if you're treading the Mary-Sue path too heavily or make you think about things you may have missed.

The OC culture's pretty good as well, so there's possibly an urge there to offer something good. Hell, I know the only reason I originally created J+M was so I could get in on the fun. Razz

That may well be another contributing factor too now that I think about it: people who never considered creating OCs, or were adverse to the concept wind up creating their own fancharacters. Hence, we work pretty hard to avoid all those things that turned us off OCs in the first place.

Bah, speculation off.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Wed 4 May 2011 - 21:13

"This is awful!" cried 'Etta, "I'm made out of spare parts, like Frankenstein!"

I can see this becoming a running gag in future fanfics...

Henrietta: "Triela, can you help me with the laundry?"

Triela: "I've got to go on a mission. Ask Rico to give you a hand."

Henrietta bursts into tears.

Triela: "What did I say?"


Anyway, regarding episode #9...

Alfisti wrote: To be honest, this felt a little clumsy to me... I was expecting a ripple effect and little jangly bells to sound through the transition.

Well that was kind of what I was going for...making fun of the cliché.

You could always sengue from the hospital bed to normal Marisa smoking dope while listening to a wind chime...

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 4 May 2011 - 21:23

Odon wrote:You could always sengue from the hospital bed to normal Marisa smoking dope while listening to a wind chime...
Well, her handler smokes grass so one of these days he might loosen up and turn her on to it.

Actually, in my next Idyllic Lives (the repository for alternate universe tales wherein the cyborgs are retired and allowed to grow into adulthood, exploring what they might do with the rest of their lives) installment 38 year old Henrietta accidentally eats a pot brownie...or three.
Spoiler:
Henrietta: Oh my gosh...I can feel my hair growing.

Marisa: Why are you whispering?

Henrietta: I don't want it to find out I know...

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by crazyidiot78 on Thu 5 May 2011 - 7:07

Voodoo just finished watching the second video and all I could think of was a role reversal for Elio and Marisa. Nuku is Marisa as the older cyborg and Elio as the little kid handler.
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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Officer_Charon on Fri 6 May 2011 - 0:37

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Actually, in my next Idyllic Lives (the repository for alternate universe tales wherein the cyborgs are retired and allowed to grow into adulthood, exploring what they might do with the rest of their lives) installment 38 year old Henrietta accidentally eats a pot brownie...or three.
Spoiler:
Henrietta: Oh my gosh...I can feel my hair growing.

Marisa: Why are you whispering?

Henrietta: I don't want it to find out I know...

Laughed. SO. DAMN. HARD.

Spoiler:
Marisa: *eyeroll* Lightweights.
Rico: Uhm, Marisa... did you ever notice that in your photos, the fish are LOOKING at you? I mean... REALLY looking at you... like they KNOW.
Henrietta: *nods seriously, hand around her sister's shoulder* It's like... they've seen things... and they know that YOU'VE seen things...
Triela: *eyes brownies suspiciously* Just how big of a batch did you make?
Marisa: About half-strength - I didn't think they'd be able to handle high-test.
Henrietta: 'Risa! What channel is this? I've GOT to get a copy of this program!
Marisa: That would be static, Henrietta. *facepalm*

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Thu 19 May 2011 - 4:34

Re: Marisa 4
"Alboreto, I'm a psychiatrist, if you're going to talk to anybody about Marina's death it should be me!" exclaimed Bianchi. Elio was one of the most frustrating patients he'd ever dealt with.

This part doesn't quite ring true. I realize you're emphasizing the fact that Elio doesn't get on well with 'nice' characters like Bianchi, but a psychiatrist wouldn't demand answers, or suggest that he (as opposed to a patient's peers, who they would regard more highly than some headshrinker) is the one they should be talking to. Something along the lines of...

Bianchi struggled to keep his exasperation off his face. It seemed that if Elio was going to talk to anyone about Marina's death, it should be him. The man was one of the most frustrating patients he'd ever dealt with.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 19 May 2011 - 15:56

Odon wrote:Re: Marisa 4
"Alboreto, I'm a psychiatrist, if you're going to talk to anybody about Marina's death it should be me!" exclaimed Bianchi. Elio was one of the most frustrating patients he'd ever dealt with.

This part doesn't quite ring true. I realize you're emphasizing the fact that Elio doesn't get on well with 'nice' characters like Bianchi, but a psychiatrist wouldn't demand answers, or suggest that he (as opposed to a patient's peers, who they would regard more highly than some headshrinker) is the one they should be talking to. Something along the lines of...

Bianchi struggled to keep his exasperation off his face. It seemed that if Elio was going to talk to anyone about Marina's death, it should be him. The man was one of the most frustrating patients he'd ever dealt with.
I would disagree in this part and that I would say that Voodoo is right.

Though Dr. Fernando Bianchi is a medical psychiatric professional, you forgot who he works for- a government agency who only cares about results of termination projects of their selected projects. In that it is his job to find answers to problems even if he has to pull them out like a bad dentist with a pair of pliers on a molar what wont come out. In short, the Hypocartic Oath does not apply to him, and the job has to be done by any means necessary.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Thu 19 May 2011 - 21:02

It's not about the Oath. Elio and the other handlers are ex-spies and military men, not the kind who are encouraged to open up about anything. A superior could demand answers, but Bianchi isn't one of their peers. Even if he does have the authority to demand answers, he'd only get the minimal information necessary to get him off their back. So he's got to tease the information out of people.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Robert Frazer on Thu 19 May 2011 - 21:10

Well, the Agency is generally a basket-case of neurotic, schizo and generally socially-maladjusted spooks and soldiers PTSDeed up the whazoo more than a US Marine who spent 1971 coked out in the Saigon Sergeants' Mess.

They all play dress-up with dolls while pretending that they're actually using GI Joe.

There are issues here.

Maybe Bianchi has just realised that these guys need a bit of tough love from him in order to feel adequate...?

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 19 May 2011 - 21:31

The more I look at your response to Voodoo's text and in comparing it to that text, I find myself thinking that you missed something. Voodoo's text is of a dialog while yours is a narrative and yours is misplaced if put into his story.

It is also about the Oath vs. Doing a job for a secret agency. What ever gets the job done in order to keep cyborg online and on the field he will do it. Hence his talk to Marco about Angie in "The Pasta Prince" chapters/episodes. He was not concern about Angie's well being but rather keeping on the field and only through Marco could that happen. Thus he tries reverse psychology on Marco to get her out on the training and out on the field again.

Now, Elio was not one of his toughest clients, it was Fernando. Only Fernando has went buck wild in Bianchi's office and wrecked the lab. Yet he gets away with it because he exposes the mind bending crap Bianchi and the others do. When caught with that, there is nothing that could be done. Prime example was when Francesca goes online and Fernando is told that his cyborg (Rachel) is in the medical ward waiting to be picked up when he did not know where Rachel was, did not know why she was in the medical ward in the first place, nor were they giving him a straight answer. This confusion put the compound on Red Alert as Fernando was going to be the 800 pound gorilla riding a raging bull through a china shop.

Robert is right but I think it is because Bianchi seems to see himself as one of the boys (handlers).

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Fri 20 May 2011 - 22:43

Odon wrote:This part doesn't quite ring true. I realize you're emphasizing the fact that Elio doesn't get on well with 'nice' characters like Bianchi, but a psychiatrist wouldn't demand answers, or suggest that he (as opposed to a patient's peers, who they would regard more highly than some headshrinker) is the one they should be talking to.
While I am very appreciative for the critical eye I'll defend Bianchi's resoponse in this case.

Elio's behavior at this point in the tale is nothing short of ridiculous. Having just lost his first cyborg to the training accident he's now living in his office, never going home (to Lorenzo's house). He spends every day at the hospital trying to figure out what killed Marina...then at the end of the work day goes back to his room and gets drunk. He doesn't interact with anyone outside Lorenzo & the doctors. He's even drunk at this counseling session.

Finally, Alboreto says;
"With Marina it was...different...it's hard to describe, and I shouldn't burden you with it anyway."
which frustrates Bianchi to no end. Elio is milimeters from opening up yet he continues internalizing and rationalizes it by implying that he shouldn't "burden" a psychiatrist with his personal feelings. In Bianchi's opinion that's exactly who you should be talking to!

As for peers, that's part of the problem...Elio isn't talking to anyone. Despite living in the handlers' office building he's like a ghost, interacting with no one. He won't even talk to his old mate Lorenzo about it.
Spoiler:
In truth, this is also because a of slip-up on my part. I had him introducing himself in my Episode 1...which didn't make much sense if he'd already been living there for months.

The band-aid fix; Elio was there, but he kept to himself...he only came & went outside of normal work hours.

In this case I think Dr. Bianchi is justified at getting angry at him. Call it "Tough Love" call it the "Drill-Sergeant" approach, whatever it is Bianchi knows that in order to be taken seriously he has to treat the handlers with a bit more aggression than he does the cyborgs.
ElfenMagix wrote:Though Dr. Fernando Bianchi is a medical psychiatric professional, you forgot who he works for- a government agency who only cares about results of termination projects of their selected projects. In that it is his job to find answers to problems even if he has to pull them out like a bad dentist with a pair of pliers on a molar what wont come out. In short, the Hypocartic Oath does not apply to him, and the job has to be done by any means necessary.
A valid point to a certain extent. Even though Bianchi has a mission he has to carry out canon shows he does have a large degree of concern for his patients (we see this most in Giuseppe & Henrietta's problems interacting).
Robert Frazer wrote:Maybe Bianchi has just realised that these guys need a bit of tough love from him in order to feel adequate...?
Or alternately, he's figured out being tough is the only way he's going to get through to some of these guys.

In conclusion: Being a doctor does not obligate one to be nice to the patient at all times. Sometimes a patient needs a kick in the ass and here that patient is Elio.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Fri 20 May 2011 - 23:03

Robert Frazer wrote:They all play dress-up with dolls while pretending that they're actually using GI Joe.

There are issues here.
ROTFL

Kara even comes with the Cyborg Dreamhouse (tm), Cyborg Dreamcar (tm)... Incoming!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sun 22 May 2011 - 7:11

Alfisti wrote:
Robert Frazer wrote:They all play dress-up with dolls while pretending that they're actually using GI Joe.

There are issues here.

Kara even comes with the Cyborg Dreamhouse (tm), Cyborg Dreamcar (tm)...
Kara: (snorts in indignation) Hrrmph! My life isn't all 5-Star hotels and exotic autos! I don't get to drive any of the "Cyborg DreamCars™" unless I keep my academic grades and combat qualifications over 80%...and as far as the "Cyborg DreamHouse™" goes, look around! There's no room service, the wake up call is Allison playing her damn guitar on the roof at 6am, the bathroom is down the hall and that...right there is Ilaria's underwear on the floor of my room!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 8:23

At long last, a new episode...with special guest stars Jethro & Monty!
#17: The Silver Chalice

This story was co-authored by Alfisti, so in all fairness it should have a clever sub-title like
"It just wouldn't be Christmas without Nazi's."

In this episode...
...Monty is annoyed.
...Marisa is annoying.
...Jethro falls into some water.
...and Elio buys some wine.

Enjoy!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 9:27

Professor Voodoo wrote:This story was co-authored by Alfisti, so in all fairness it should have a clever sub-title like
"It just wouldn't be Christmas without Nazi's."
I think "co-authored" is a little generous... more like J+M Consultant. Razz

Proper thoughts to come (mostly on the bits I've not already commented on).

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 9:52

Professor Voodoo wrote:At long last, a new episode...with special guest stars Jethro & Monty!
#17: The Silver Chalice

Hurray!

"It'd make my life a mite less stressful if you'd drop your world-famous sharp tongue back a notch or two whilst around Alboreto. He's ex-MI6, a Field Commander, and had a bit of a rep back at Vauxhall Cross..."

I've always wondered - do members of the UK's Secret Intelligence Service refer to themselves as "MI6", or is that more a media thing?

I was watching the episode "Secrets and Spies" from Series 12 of Midsomer Murders the other day (I used to watch the show when it was on US TV, so I now keep up via renting the DVD sets) and the members of SIS referred to themselves as MI6.

With my NPC Naomi Palmer, I figured she'd refer to her employer as the SIS, but I wonder, now...

More thoughts soon as I continue reading

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Robert Frazer on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 10:18

Just to pick up on one quick detail, there seems to be a paragraph missing in the section where Jethro is describing Monty's injury - it cuts out at "head caved".

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 10:20

Kiskaloo wrote:
"It'd make my life a mite less stressful if you'd drop your world-famous sharp tongue back a notch or two whilst around Alboreto. He's ex-MI6, a Field Commander, and had a bit of a rep back at Vauxhall Cross..."

I've always wondered - do members of the UK's Secret Intelligence Service refer to themselves as "MI6", or is that more a media thing?
To the best of my knowledge, the correct terminology is "SIS", and that is what's used internally as well. "MI6" was used for the sake of convenience, particularly through WWII, but is no longer used officially. The media however has kept it alive.

Interestingly, the head of the SIS is actually designated "C" rather than "M" outside of fiction, after the first head of the organization signed his name as such.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 10:25

Robert Frazer wrote:Just to pick up on one quick detail, there seems to be a paragraph missing in the section where Jethro is describing Monty's injury - it cuts out at "head caved".

Also looks like the paragraph order is mixed up.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 10:36

Kiskaloo wrote:
Robert Frazer wrote:Just to pick up on one quick detail, there seems to be a paragraph missing in the section where Jethro is describing Monty's injury - it cuts out at "head caved".

Also looks like the paragraph order is mixed up.
Nah, the order's fine but there is a BIG chunk missing out of that paragraph.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 10:57

Masterpiece effort, as always. And the end was great - both for the cameo and the interaction between Elio and Marisa over XMAS.

Also nice to see a more relaxed side to Monty. A refreshing change of pace, if only for a little bit.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Officer_Charon on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 17:44

Fantastic stuff!

Spoiler:
I really enjoyed seeing Monty getting a little "star-struck" when she realized that Elio had lived the era that she enjoys getting her retro on with. I also enjoyed the chemistry between Jethro and Marisa. ("Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Marisa." "I think so, Mr. Blacker, but where are we going to find THAT many rubber bands?")

As an amateur student of history, I was delighted to see the synchronicity of the "theft" of the chalice ("You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen!") from the original thieves, and I really enjoyed the capper at the end, via L'Ordre de la Libération. Very fitting that an order for heroism granted posthumously to a heroic woman is granted to an "order" of heroic young women who are, themselves, slated for death. I LOVE the idea of tying it in as an heirloom for the agency - something for future "students" to see, read up on, and honor for the duration of their existence.

I always enjoy how you write combined cyborg operations, making sure that the cyborgs are assigned missions based on their strengths.

The only nit that I could find to pick with the first read-through has already been highlighted, with the fragmented paragraph.

All in all, a FANTASTIC way to start the day! Kudos, sirrah!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 20:56

Robert Frazer wrote:there seems to be a paragraph missing in the section where Jethro is describing Monty's injury - it cuts out at "head caved".
Kiskaloo wrote:Also looks like the paragraph order is mixed up.
Alfisti wrote:the order's fine but there is a BIG chunk missing out of that paragraph.
Okay, it's fixed now. There were so many changes and edits that I suppose I just forgot to put it back in. It's like when you're working on something and you have a few pieces left over at the end. Embarrassing, since it got three read-throughs before posting and I didn't catch it.
Kiskaloo wrote:nice to see a more relaxed side to Monty.
Oh jeeze don't let Alfisti read that comment...that's exactly what he was critiquing the whole time; the fact that Monty was too relaxed.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by ElfenMagix on Sat 4 Jun 2011 - 23:53

LOL @ Documentry choices!
Well written, Voodoo. One of you best chapters to date.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by MP5 on Sun 5 Jun 2011 - 0:01

Brilliant Job, Voodoo! I enjoyed this chapter quite thoroughly!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Robert Frazer on Tue 7 Jun 2011 - 20:56

I LOVE the idea of tying it in as an heirloom for the agency - something for future "students" to see, read up on, and honor for the duration of their existence.

It's always fulfilling to have some silverware with which to accrue the glory of your unit. The mess at my OTC had some Zulu spears mounted on the wall. The General Danced At Dawn probably said it best...

"...I have known messes where subalterns felt they had to drink hard stuff for fear of being though cissies, but in a Highland mess nobody presses anybody. For one thing, no senior officer with a whiskey throat wants to see his single malt being wasted on a pink and eager one-pipper.

Presently the Colonel would knock his pipe out and limp into the dining room, and we would follow him to sit around the huge white table. I have never seen a table like it, and never expect to; Lord Mayor's banquets, college dinners, and American conventions at 100 dollars a plate may surpass it in spectacular grandeur, but when you sat down at this table you were conscious of sitting at a dinner that had lasted for centuries.

The table was a mass of silver: the horse's-hoof snuff-box that was a relic of the few minutes at Waterloo when the regiment broke Napoleon's cavalry, and Wellington himself took off his hat and said 'Thank you, gentlemen'; the set of spoons from some forgotten Indian palace with strange gods carved on the handles; the great bowl, magnificently engraved, presented by an American infanty regiment in Normandy, and the little quaich that had been found in the dust at Magersfontein; loot that had come from Vienna, Moscow, Berlin, Rome, the Taku Forts, and God knows where, some direct and some via French, Prussian, Polish, Spanish, and other regiments from half the countries on Earth - stolen, presented, captured, bought, won, given, taken, and acquired by accident. It was priceless, and as you sat and contemplated it you could almost feel the shades elbowing you around the table.

At any rate, it enabled us to get through the tinned tomato soup, rissoles and jam tart...
"

That wonder at the depth of experience, at once awesome but also quite quieting and humbling, was definitely evoked in my mind when the decoration was given at the end of the story.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 8 Jun 2011 - 20:46

Robert Frazer wrote: It's always fulfilling to have some silverware with which to accrue the glory of your unit. The mess at my OTC had some Zulu spears mounted on the wall. The General Danced At Dawn probably said it best...
It sounds impressive. Unfortunately was US Air Force tenure was devoid of such physical connections to history. The USAF switches squadron numbers around at will and with no predictable method to their madness.

Example; When the last F-4 unit in USAFE (United States Air Forces in Europe), the 81st Fighter Squadron closed an A-10 unit, the 510th FS was brought in to take their place. However, it was decided that in order to preserve the history of the 81st FS the 510th would change names...becoming the new 81st. Nothing was preserved, all that happed was a number swap.

So the lower numbers, signifying older units take priority, right? Not the case.
When my old unit, the 23rd Fighter Squadron was deactivated the personnel & jets were merged with the 22nd FS next door, forming a new unit called the 480th FS. Ironically, this is a number previously held by the 22nd...they had to swap numbers in 1993 to preserve the history of the 22nd.

Confused? All I know is that the person making these decisions makes more money than I do.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 6:46

She'd been sleeping since the (they'd) crossed the Belgian boarder (border)
Also here:
"Someone has been asleep since the Belgian boarder"

"Bonjour," he greeted, coming to his feet slowly, "you must be the Italians who have come to help. And so you should, Fascist backstabbers of 1940!"

"Oy! We're British!"

"Even more so, foul assassins of our sailors at Mers-el-Kebir!"

where (should be 'were') quickly set upon by a trio of young skinheads.
You mention the action here before it actually happens. How about: "were suddenly confronted by a trio of young skinheads."

I finished your portrait of Mr. Blacker
So which one of these was it?

"Absolutely nothing" the older girl confessed, "but Triela will go batty trying to figure it out."
Heh heh. Evil Monty!

And a luvly d'awww at the end.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Robert Frazer on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 7:19

And so you should, Fascist backstabbers of 1940!"

He probably just didn't want to occasion them any embarrassment. Italy's 1940 Alpine campaign is one of the most hilarious battles of the Second World War and is a singular proof, if any were needed, of the country's terminal military incompetence.

The BEF has evacuated. Italy begins its invasion a week after Germany enters Paris. They outnumber the French forces stationed in the region by twenty to one. Marshal Petain has offered an armistice. They're confronting a country that's, literally, already beaten.

Italy still loses.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Professor Voodoo on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 15:20

Odon wrote:
She'd been sleeping since the (they'd) crossed the Belgian boarder (border)
Also here:
"Someone has been asleep since the Belgian boarder"
Well, Mari was sleeping so technically she was boarding in the car...okay that was feeble. Changes made.
"Oy! We're British!"
Marisa: I'm Italian!

Elio: Eh...we have to talk about that, Mari. In a future episode...

where (should be 'were') quickly set upon by a trio of young skinheads.
You mention the action here before it actually happens. How about: "were suddenly confronted by a trio of young skinheads."
Again, thanks for the sharp eye. The spelling is corrected but I think the term "set upon" still fits...implying that they were menaced by the skinheads before blows were thrown.
Robert Frazer wrote:Italy's 1940 Alpine campaign is one of the most hilarious battles of the Second World War and is a singular proof, if any were needed, of the country's terminal military incompetence.
Let's see Avise do that one in miniature...

Agapita: (wiping plaster from her blow) 100 kilos of papier-mâché mountains...over 1000 tiny trees...2,500 individually hand-painted soldiers. It's done.

Michele: Eh, sorry to burst your bubble but this isn't even close to the way the history book tells it. In fact you couldn't have been further off if you'd given the Italians giant fighting robots.

Agapita: W-w-whaaat?

Avise: Sticking to the official history is unoriginal. My artistic pieces explore the hypothetical.

Agapita: B-but sir...Ms. Ferro was giving me extra credit for working on this after I failed her last test due to the advice you gave me! She's grading me on this!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Odon on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 18:47

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Michele: In fact you couldn't have been further off if you'd given the Italians giant fighting robots.

Libya 1941. Colonel Croce tries desperately to restart his underarmoured, underpowered Italian army mecha as General Wavell's troops advance inexorably towards him.

Croce: I must run away, I must run away, I must run away!

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Alfisti on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 18:54

Odon wrote:Libya 1941. Colonel Croce tries desperately to restart his underarmoured, underpowered Italian army mecha as General Wavell's troops advance inexorably towards him.

Croce: I must run away, I must run away, I must run away!
How many gears does an Italian mecha have?

Spoiler:
One forward, seven reverse

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by Kiskaloo on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 20:21

Alfisti wrote:
Odon wrote:Libya 1941. Colonel Croce tries desperately to restart his underarmoured, underpowered Italian army mecha as General Wavell's troops advance inexorably towards him.

Croce: I must run away, I must run away, I must run away!
How many gears does an Italian mecha have?

Spoiler:
One forward, seven reverse

Spoiler:

That's one more forward gear than a French one.

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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

Post by ChaosKin640 on Fri 10 Jun 2011 - 20:27

Kiskaloo wrote:
Alfisti wrote:
Odon wrote:Libya 1941. Colonel Croce tries desperately to restart his underarmoured, underpowered Italian army mecha as General Wavell's troops advance inexorably towards him.

Croce: I must run away, I must run away, I must run away!
How many gears does an Italian mecha have?

Spoiler:
One forward, seven reverse

Spoiler:

That's one more forward gear than a French one.

Monty & Kara: "We heard that!"

Lucy: Hey, what about me? I'm French too, you know?
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Re: The Marisa & Elio Chronicles

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