A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

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A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

Post by Guest on Wed 16 Dec 2009 - 17:35

Author's Notes: Supposed to be Humorous. (Most of you guys don't need Chapter One)



Chapter Two


Wallez walked into the high class, five star restaurant Rolito’s Pasta. After being escorted to a special table in the back, he began his private fine dining, starting with a Caesar salad with Blu Cheese salad dressing. An odd combination, but it was his favorite.

“Trouble, sir,” Hobbes, the waiter said. “This gentleman wants to take your table for a hundred Euros.”

Wallez laughed. “Tell the man that’s pennies to me. Let me see him.”

“Will do sir.”

As Wallez stuffed the first bit of his salad into his mouth, shouting occurred.

“What kind of lousy, fancy rich, idiotic piece of…” A member of the Mafia entered and quickly jumped at the sight. “Oh, sorry Mr. Wallez. I didn’t realize you dined here. We’ll go somewhere else.”

Wallez only grinned. He continued eating when Hobbes again interrupted. “Uh sir, your awaited guest has arrived.”

“Just in time. Send him in.”

And without delay, Marco Toni walked in.

“Mr. Toni, how are you?”

“Poor, as usual.”

“Good! Let’s be jolly with the season. Please join me, dinner is on me.”

“Thank you, Mr. Wallez.”

“I have another job for you. It’s a Christmas present for that certain man we’ve been talking about. His present home is the one in here in Rome, so it shouldn’t be hard.”

Marco began writing down notes in a code he developed. “What do you have for the job?”

Wallez shrugged as he patted his handkerchief on his mouth, “Four thousand Euros.”


Marco’s eyes widened. “And—on Christmas, sir? You want me to pose as Santa Claus tonight?”

“No,” Wallez said arranging his salad, “Christmas day. He turns up his security around that night and then in good will sends every employee home.”

“Well, also, I wanted to talk about that raise you’ve mentioned of late?”

“Raise? Ha! In the holiday season? Not likely. I won’t have another job for you till sometime in the spring, so let’s get this contract finished, then we can bring back talk of the raise. Unless—you want me to let the cat out of the bag to the SWA?”

Marco reached his hand out. “Oh, no—no sir! I’ll do the job for four thousand Euros.”

“Good.”

“But, I was hoping that you could at least give me a few hundred Euros, not much, understand. For the traveling and supply expenses?”

Wallez opened up his I-phone as he finished his salad. “Oh sure. Let me see. I have Lorenzo on speed dial on here,” he turned the I-phone over to show “Calling… Lorenzo.”

“I can deduct from my pay, it’s no problem,” Marco quickly finished.

Wallez hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. “Of course. How generous of you.”

“Uh, sir,” Hobbes said knocking on the door.

“Yes? What is it? Come in.”

Hobbes entered. “Ah, I came to take the order for your guest, and there are two persons here to see you.”

Wallez rolled his eyes. “Alright.”

“I’ll have a glass of white wine, thank you,” Marco replied. “I’m still looking at the menu.”

“Right.”

And after he left, Fermi and Elenora walked in.

“Hello, Wallez. We figured we could find you here.”

Wallez and Marco got their guns ready. “State your business,” Wallez said.

“We came asking for a donation to the Social Welfare Agency,” Fermi said. “We knew that you were interested in the Justice Body Project, and were wondering what we could put you down for?”

Wallez glared.

“Friends,” Marco said, “you can be assured that the generous and wealthy Wallez has a very good sum of money for donation.”

The two stepped forward.

“Ah, if you like,” Elenora said pulling out her notebook, “I can put you down for set amounts, or we can schedule another time.”

“Two things,” Wallez said. “You can put me down for nothing, and schedule me for never.”

“But—surely you know that this project is in for the caring of sick and wounded children?”

“I know exactly what it does,” Wallez replied. “Aren’t there orphanages?”

“Not many, I’m afraid,” Fermi replied with a sigh. “They’ve all been bought up and the children are mysteriously disappearing.”

Wallez smiled to himself.

“But,” Elenora continued, “The government has been generous enough to help them.”

“What about the prisons? And the workhouses?”

“We aren’t looking for donations for them,” Elenora replied.

“Well, you wouldn’t be looking for donations at all if they sent the children there, now would you?”

“Many children can’t go to—to prison,” Fermi said beginning to raise his voice. “their other option is to die.”

“Good. Then they better do it too, and decrease the surplus population,” Wallez responded with a smile. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to be left alone.”

“Come on, Pietro,” Elenora said.

“So, that’s it, then?” Fermi continued. “You didn’t save the poor nations in Africa because you cared. Oh no, you wanted to raise an army, wealth, and have them working so you could…”

“That will be all,” Wallez said. “Now go away, please?”

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Re: A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 16 Dec 2009 - 21:23

This is clever.
I caught Chapter 1 as well.
Spoiler:
Now...I've read Dickens original, and seen many film versions of the story but in none of them does Scrooge inform us of what he plans to masturbate to. Character exposition complete in that one line!
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Re: A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

Post by Guest on Thu 17 Dec 2009 - 0:52

@Professor Voodoo wrote:This is clever.
I caught Chapter 1 as well.
Spoiler:
Now...I've read Dickens original, and seen many film versions of the story but in none of them does Scrooge inform us of what he plans to masturbate to. Character exposition complete in that one line!

Are you familiar with G.D. Wallez?

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Re: A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 17 Dec 2009 - 1:44

@Colonel Marksman wrote:
Are you familiar with G.D. Wallez?

No, but the first chapter explained enough to get the basic idea...he's the bad guy, right? I also know Muffin has been having a lot of trouble destroying him, even with a space-laser.


There are an enormous number of fanfics to read, and I admit I haven't gotten to them all yet.
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Forum Posts : 3422

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Fan of : That one guy who was only in one episode & didn't have any lines.

Original Characters : Marisa/ Elio Alboreto

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Re: A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

Post by Guest on Thu 17 Dec 2009 - 19:03

@Professor Voodoo wrote:
@Colonel Marksman wrote:
Are you familiar with G.D. Wallez?

No, but the first chapter explained enough to get the basic idea...he's the bad guy, right? I also know Muffin has been having a lot of trouble destroying him, even with a space-laser.


There are an enormous number of fanfics to read, and I admit I haven't gotten to them all yet.

It would probably be easier for you to look at character dossiers rather than to try and read all of the fan fictions.


Wallez is a somewhat popular choice for representation of evil within GSG fandom. It started when he, by chance, won two different lotteries, one right after the other. He crammed almost all the money into a high-yield C.D., and into a large number of savings bonds, and lived off of *minimal* expenses, and went to college to become a surgeon. Part of the way through, he began to study law, dropped medical school, and then at the urging of his new rich friends, business law. Wallez used the opportunities to meet some very rich people and gain their trust, some of them as partners.

While studying, he came up with a brilliant idea. A group of businessmen and Wallez bought a large number of stocks from a general store type business (a failing Wal-Mart wannabe). The proposal was made by the businessmen that everyone was to sell their stocks to Wallez. While several people disagreed, the businessmen, and Wallez, owned so much stock that their votes overpowered.

Wallez bought every single stock from everyone and turned the company into a sole proprietorship, with the businessmen as partners. Wallez graduated with a degree in business law, defended himself on several matters, and became everyone's own lawyer (for a very big discount!).

Next, he bought a paper plant and a dying trucking company. He converted the trucking company to transport for his general business and his paper plant. He has bought out dozens of companies within the United States and around the world to cycle supplies. Now he can use his own trucking company to support his general stores, and each company can buy paper from his own paper plant. The list grows until he finally bought an insurance company. Now all the employees that ultimately work for him can buy products from Wallez, cycling money back to himself. Wallez pays the employee. The employee buys insurance, giving money back to Wallez. Employee buys paper (on discount), giving money back to Wallez. Employee buys from the general store (discount), which gives money back to Wallez.

In this way, Wallez was able to stay "under the radar" because he doesn't own a monopoly; and that's what the public screams about.


He became rich enough to buy one of the biggest, most powerful mercenary companies, the fictional "All Factor". On top of all this, Wallez now legally owns his own personal army. He used it to invade the nations of Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia, and Djbouti. He won the Nobel Peace Prize for it, as he planted all of his companies into these nations, rose jobs, and became a benevolent dictator. In truth, when some people began to criticize Wallez, he allowed the people to vote for their leaders. 90% of them always voted for Wallez, and so Wallez has ruled his new nation of Sut'Meink, with the will of his people.

Wallez knew that the common people owned a large amount of weapons. He had to take over warlords and drug lords. Wallez isn't stupid; he studied his history. What he did was create a well-trained army, instilled morales into his country (allowing a large amount of mission work for example), and he let his people keep them. He tells his people about how crime is lowered in places where there's fewer gun laws (e.g. Texas vs California), where people can defend themselves and its suicide to commit crimes (e.g. Israel).

He made a large amount of benefits for people to join his military. And his military isn't the hodge-podge cheap conscript armies of most dictators. Oh no, far from it. He has his military do combat training every two-three months a soldier doesn't see combat; trained by the mercenary special-forces All Factor. Wallez has over a million troops with three times more experience and double the training of the United States Army, armed with reliable, cheap weapons and equipment.


When Wallez studied the history of wars that modern nations had lost or had tough times through, he read about Black Hawk Down. In this tragedy, he realized that there were thousands of Somalis attacking the US soldiers, but their training was nothing more than how to load, pull the trigger, and pushing the safety on or off. Nobody really knew what they were doing, and it was only by outweighing the luck of hitting someone with such an extreme number of bullets that soldiers were killed and wounded. The Somalis were able to trap the soldiers, hunt them down, and plan ahead of their routes, but they couldn't really do much after that.

So he envisioned a different Somalia. This Somalia has the same thousands of people, only with more training and more experience than the US soldiers in the same scenario. It would've been nothing short of a massacre. In addition to this, Wallez became a strong ally with Israel (who are just up the sea river). He bought and adopted their ideas, technology, and weapons. One such example is the Dark Knight main battle tank. He also has a few satellites and UAVs to help keep his troops in direct radio contact with each other. E.g. that tank commander can directly talk to someone on the ground with a radio, who can also talk directly to an aircraft pilot in the sky.

If anyone does plan to invade Wallez's nation, its going to be an extremely bloody war.


One of the more notable features of Wallez, however, is what you've seen in the first chapter. When Wallez planned to take over the world, he had 2 notable enemies. The Pope (and effectively the Roman Catholic Church), and the Middle East.

He was found by his mother's religion, who believed that he was the long lost son of Christ. (Wallez's genealogy is largely Israeli). After quietly rejecting the idea for awhile, he eventually learned to embrace it. He utilized this to his advantage by forming a cult, that Wallez was the Messiah, Son of God (if Jesus is God, then Wallez is Christ, also). This cult became the Covenant Reformation Group; a terrorist organization, trained by All Factor and equipped with stolen Israeli and Russian weapons (thanks to Wallez's connections with the two nations), bent on assassinating the Pope and destroying the Catholic Church.


This was where he ran into one, tinsy, winsy little problem that just blockaded his plans. The Social Welfare Agency. Wallez eventually learned of the project, and became allies with the Mafia and Republic Faction, trading weapons and services to them with the CRG. He masked the problem with being caught by not actually telling the CRG who he really was.

But eventually, Wallez started doing his own research, talking with other nations, and started his own project. With his immense funding, Wallez not only made a cyborg as a personal bodyguard, a man named Ray, but he fixed the weakness of the eye (bullet-proof eye). He also began mutant experimentation and gave himself cyborg implants.

By chance, it was discovered that Wallez was personally involved in the near-death of some of the cyborgs. He was the one who raped Henrietta and his goons murdered her family. He was the one who instigated the child trafficking and escaped just before Hilshire and Rachelle reached Triela. He was responsible for Angelica's parents poor state of debt. He bought an orphanage that he used to get a hold of small children, where he chased down and beat an escapee, Elsa, into a coma, believing her beyond help.

When he can, he will eat his enemies, often cooking them alive to have the freshest meat, and even drinks sweetened blood on occasion.


He is a power-hungry, cannibalistic, sadistic, pedophile who is seen as a saint to the rest of the world. If anyone is beyond help, its him.

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Re: A Gunslinger Girl Christmas Carol

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