Crazyidiot78's New story

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Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sun 10 Jan 2010 - 21:06

I have recently posted a story on an idea I have been kicking around for a while. The basic premise is that the girls and handlers are fed up with the machinations of the social welfare agency and decide to leave. I have the first two chapters posted here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/1/GSG_great_escape I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Sun 10 Jan 2010 - 23:22

Its an old premise. In both Canon and on Fictfic its been done with at least 1 fratello pair- all of them ending badly for the girls.

In short, lets see how you take it. I would like to see more.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Professor Voodoo on Mon 11 Jan 2010 - 2:40

Interesting take on some of the characters. If I could recommend anything; be a bit more adventurous with your scenes & settings, so far you don't seem to be deviating much from what we've already seen in the canon.

I look forward to the next chapter...
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Mon 11 Jan 2010 - 18:42

I would like to get more adventurous once I have the girls leave the agency. I plan on having the girls first going to Germany and meeting Hillshire's parents before splitting up. What do you think of this idea.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Mon 22 Mar 2010 - 22:02

I am now up to chapter 13 and the girls have now left the agency so things should be getting more interesting. love it or hate let me know what you think
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/1/GSG_great_escape
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by funkmachine on Thu 25 Mar 2010 - 11:04

a bit slow but the leave the agency thing needed some time to set up.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sat 24 Apr 2010 - 22:03

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Thu 29 Jul 2010 - 0:05

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Tue 17 Aug 2010 - 17:35

Chapter 19 is now up for GSG great escape for your reading enjoyment http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/19/GSG_great_escape

Things are starting to heat now that they are almost out of Italy.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Jacen Starslayer on Tue 17 Aug 2010 - 17:57

Excellent Chapter as always, CI. I really like the lines about Beatrice sending presents to Minister Petris and Dr. Donato.

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"I am the sword of justice
Forged by fate and tempered with time
I have struggled to stay true to his dreams and ideals
Never knowing defeat
Nor victory
Forever waiting for his return
This is my, Infinite Sword Dance"
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sun 22 Aug 2010 - 11:44

GSG great escape chapter 20- Border wars is now up for yoru reading enjoyment
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/20/GSG_great_escape

I think things will start to get more interesting from here on out
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sun 19 Sep 2010 - 16:01

GSG great escape chapter 21- aftermath is now up for your reading enjoyment
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/21/GSG_great_escape

Thanks to Jacen Starlayer and MP5 for the use of Jay and Allison in the latest chapter
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sat 13 Nov 2010 - 23:36

Chapter 22 is now up http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/22/GSG_great_escape

Enjoy. I've started to try and mix it up with new characters and settings so I hope it makes things more interesting with out breaking the cannon to much to fast
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by FearTheLASERFACE on Sun 14 Nov 2010 - 10:49

Haha, they don't even know what a slide is.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Sun 14 Nov 2010 - 15:20

@FearTheLASERFACE wrote:Haha, they don't even know what a slide is.
If you were locked up in a dorm with nothing to do but train how to kill, you would not know either.

Furthermore in Rico's case, she was in the hospital since the the day she was born and never left her hospital bed. Becoming a cyborg was Rico's saving grace.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by FearTheLASERFACE on Sun 14 Nov 2010 - 16:15

Well, you think they would have seen one at least once. Especially on vacations.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by FearTheLASERFACE on Sun 14 Nov 2010 - 17:53

You know, it might be interesting if another CYBORG is sent after them.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sun 14 Nov 2010 - 19:52

@FearTheLASERFACE wrote:You know, it might be interesting if another CYBORG is sent after them.

Just wait

Generation II

hehehehe
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by zarien85 on Wed 8 Dec 2010 - 1:12

god job been following the story on fff.net keep it upplease

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Fri 24 Dec 2010 - 21:44

GSG great escape- chapter 23 Arival is now posted for your reading pleasure http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/23/GSG_great_escape
.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Fri 24 Dec 2010 - 23:02

It was great, CI. A few mistakes with placement references in the last quarter but I loved it! Great work!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Fri 31 Dec 2010 - 0:10

GSG great escape- chapter 24 Home Frony is now posted for your reading pleasure http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/24/GSG_great_escape

Probably rushed posting it so i hope the typos arent to bad
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Fri 31 Dec 2010 - 1:43

It was great, CI. Really.
We spoke of the mistakes and you were fixing them so it should be better than before when I read it!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Tue 8 Mar 2011 - 1:13

GSG great escape- chapter 25 Old Friends Old Enemies is now posted for your reading pleasure http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/25/GSG_great_escape

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Tue 8 Mar 2011 - 1:47

That was a great update, CI.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by badbart101 on Sun 10 Apr 2011 - 19:56

love the story so far
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 2:05

Took me a while but time for another chapter. It's time to meet Hillshire's mother and learn more about Flanca's past

GSG great escape chapter 26- Family Reunion
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/26/GSG_great_escape
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 3:45

chocolate chip and cotton candy cookies they made once. None of the girls would even touch them so the duo took them as part of their cover for reconnaissance against a possible Padania hideout offering free samples under the guise as students selling them for school. Their ploy worked until the entire cell stumbled out after them begging for the antidote.
ROTFL

An excellent chapter played out.
Just one thing. I think (without verifying it) you posted the last chapter's last section to the beginning of this one.

Otherwise- great story addition!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 23:20

Clever twist on Katerina/Flanca's past.

I was about to quote the cookie line but it looks like Elfen has beaten me to it...funniest line in the chapter!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 23:49

Quote it again, Voodoo! Its worth it so that I would steal it but would not know where to put it in my works. Evil

And yes... that is a twist and a half there...

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Thu 6 Oct 2011 - 0:53

GSG great escape chapter 27- You're my what- is now out for your reading pleasure. Triela meets her grandma and some major developments for Tea and her groups back in Italy.

GSG Great Escape

Warning it is a little rough but I think its still a worth while read.


Last edited by ElfenMagix on Thu 6 Oct 2011 - 1:01; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Had to fix the URL, CI - Elfen)
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 6 Oct 2011 - 1:04

Great as always, CI!
Even though I had the pleasure for a preview for corrections, the outcome is better than expected!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 6 Oct 2011 - 23:38

Well worth the wait. I really enjoy the innocuous annecdotes about life at and outside the Agency...Henrietta freaking out when Rico tried on one of her uniforms, Tea worrying about Ferro's response to a huge shopping bill.

Speaking of Ferro, you've got an unique interpretation of her going...protector of the girls against Jean rather than the strict supervisor most (myself included) portray her as.

Looking forward to the next installment...

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Wed 12 Oct 2011 - 12:33

Here is a bit of a teaser for you guys.

Spoiler:
“Why am I the team pet,” Beatrice huffed.
“Well, you have a really good sense of smell, like the directors dog,” Rico replied.
“But what about Henrietta, she has good hearing like dogs to,” Beatrice shot back.
“True but you don’t have to stay in the same room as her. She can really hold a grudge, she’s really scary when she is angry,” Rico whispered shivering at the thought of an angry Henrietta.

“Henrietta what are you doing,” Rico asked looking up at her roommate still half asleep.
“Tying you up,” Henrietta replied with a smile.
“Why,” Rico asked.
“You know why silly, you broke my present from Jose,” Henrietta replied tightening the last rope across her chest.
“Would saying I’m sorry again help,” Rico begged.
“Yes, but you’re still not getting up anytime soon. I know how much you love running around so a day tied to the bed should help teach you a lesson,” Henrietta said.

Beatrice nodded. “You’re right, Lancer it is,” Beatrice replied.
Henrietta returned a minute later with some biscotti and three large glasses of milk balanced precariously in her hands. Rico, and Beatrice each took a glass eagerly munching on biscotti in predawn darkness.
“If Triela is the leader, then who is the big guy of our group?” Henrietta asked searching the many channels offered Hilda’s satellite TV.
“Rico,” Beatrice replied munching on biscotti in pure bliss.
“Yes, definitely Rico,” Henrietta said nodding in agreement.
Smiling Rico took a big gulp of milk wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Cool.”

Henrietta finally settled on a channel as Hilda made her way downstairs awoken by the noise shocked to find three of the girls huddled around the TV. They really are just little girls underneath it all.
“Morning girls,” Hilda called out startling the group.
“We’re sorry for waking you, but Rico saw that Negima another world was going to be on this morning and well we weren’t allowed to watch much TV while at the agency. Jose said it would rot my brain.” Henrietta replied.
“Jean said that if I had time to watch TV then I had time to train,” Rico added.
“This episode is boring, I’ll go switch with Angelica, she’ll like all the lovey dovey stuff,” Beatrice said slowly walking away clutching the container of biscotti a big grin on her face as she munched on the sweet treat.
“Is Beatrice alright,” Hilda asked heading toward the swaying girl as she headed out into the cold morning air.
“Don’t worry about Beatrice, its best not to disturb her while she is in her happy place,” Henrietta said her eyes glued to the TV as the show began.
“We learned quickly not to bother her when she has cookies, especially good cookies.” Rico said munching on biscotti of her own.

Angelica was more than happy to come inside after sitting watch in the early morning hours tucked in the crook of a large pine tree. A light bout of freezing rain came through during her shift coating her in a thin layer of ice and freezing most of her hair into a giant ice cube.
“Angelica, Negima another world is on,” Rico called out her eyes never leaving the TV.
“Cold,” Angelica chattered shucking her frozen overcoat falling to the ground with a heavy thump as ice cracked off onto the floor.
“My word you are positively frozen,” Hilda exclaimed wrapping Angelica in a heavy quilt.
“Are you sure you should be up right now. I don’t want you getting sick,” Hilda said laying Angelica on the sofa in front of the TV.
“Not sick, are bodies can survive just fine in the cold, it just sucks as much as the next person. Stupid freezing rain froze my hair.” Angelica replied.
“And why were you outside in the rain long enough for your hair to freeze,” Hilda asked wary of the answer she would receive.
“Keeping watch,” Angelica replied straining to catch a glimpse of the TV around Hilda.

I really should be surprised but I’m not. They still don’t feel completely safe even out here in the middle of nowhere. “How about a nice hot drink to warm you up while I make breakfast, those biscotti simply won’t cut it,” Hilda said with a smile.
“Hot chocolate,” Rico and Henrietta asked in unison.
“Something hot,” Angelica added the color slowly returning to her cheeks.
“Alright, and what about something for Beatrice?” Hilda asked.
“Hot chocolate,” Rico and Henrietta replied.

Spoiler:

Full five man band list
Triela- leader
Henrietta- lancer
Claes- smart girl
Angelica- chick
Rico- big guy
beatrice- team pet
tea- team mom
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crazyidiot78

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Me- It has come to my attention that it is impossible to buy liver in Mongolia because it is bad, but it is perfectly ok to buy salt sheep heads

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 12 Oct 2011 - 16:21

@crazyidiot78 wrote:Here is a bit of a teaser for you guys.

Spoiler:
“Why am I the team pet,” Beatrice huffed.
“Well, you have a really good sense of smell, like the directors dog,” Rico replied.
“But what about Henrietta, she has good hearing like dogs to,” Beatrice shot back.
“True but you don’t have to stay in the same room as her. She can really hold a grudge, she’s really scary when she is angry,” Rico whispered shivering at the thought of an angry Henrietta.

“Henrietta what are you doing,” Rico asked looking up at her roommate still half asleep.
“Tying you up,” Henrietta replied with a smile.
“Why,” Rico asked.
“You know why silly, you broke my present from Jose,” Henrietta replied tightening the last rope across her chest.
“Would saying I’m sorry again help,” Rico begged.
“Yes, but you’re still not getting up anytime soon. I know how much you love running around so a day tied to the bed should help teach you a lesson,” Henrietta said.

Beatrice nodded. “You’re right, Lancer it is,” Beatrice replied.
Henrietta returned a minute later with some biscotti and three large glasses of milk balanced precariously in her hands. Rico, and Beatrice each took a glass eagerly munching on biscotti in predawn darkness.
“If Triela is the leader, then who is the big guy of our group?” Henrietta asked searching the many channels offered Hilda’s satellite TV.
“Rico,” Beatrice replied munching on biscotti in pure bliss.
“Yes, definitely Rico,” Henrietta said nodding in agreement.
Smiling Rico took a big gulp of milk wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Cool.”

Henrietta finally settled on a channel as Hilda made her way downstairs awoken by the noise shocked to find three of the girls huddled around the TV. They really are just little girls underneath it all.
“Morning girls,” Hilda called out startling the group.
“We’re sorry for waking you, but Rico saw that Negima another world was going to be on this morning and well we weren’t allowed to watch much TV while at the agency. Jose said it would rot my brain.” Henrietta replied.
“Jean said that if I had time to watch TV then I had time to train,” Rico added.
“This episode is boring, I’ll go switch with Angelica, she’ll like all the lovey dovey stuff,” Beatrice said slowly walking away clutching the container of biscotti a big grin on her face as she munched on the sweet treat.
“Is Beatrice alright,” Hilda asked heading toward the swaying girl as she headed out into the cold morning air.
“Don’t worry about Beatrice, its best not to disturb her while she is in her happy place,” Henrietta said her eyes glued to the TV as the show began.
“We learned quickly not to bother her when she has cookies, especially good cookies.” Rico said munching on biscotti of her own.

Angelica was more than happy to come inside after sitting watch in the early morning hours tucked in the crook of a large pine tree. A light bout of freezing rain came through during her shift coating her in a thin layer of ice and freezing most of her hair into a giant ice cube.
“Angelica, Negima another world is on,” Rico called out her eyes never leaving the TV.
“Cold,” Angelica chattered shucking her frozen overcoat falling to the ground with a heavy thump as ice cracked off onto the floor.
“My word you are positively frozen,” Hilda exclaimed wrapping Angelica in a heavy quilt.
“Are you sure you should be up right now. I don’t want you getting sick,” Hilda said laying Angelica on the sofa in front of the TV.
“Not sick, are bodies can survive just fine in the cold, it just sucks as much as the next person. Stupid freezing rain froze my hair.” Angelica replied.
“And why were you outside in the rain long enough for your hair to freeze,” Hilda asked wary of the answer she would receive.
“Keeping watch,” Angelica replied straining to catch a glimpse of the TV around Hilda.

I really should be surprised but I’m not. They still don’t feel completely safe even out here in the middle of nowhere. “How about a nice hot drink to warm you up while I make breakfast, those biscotti simply won’t cut it,” Hilda said with a smile.
“Hot chocolate,” Rico and Henrietta asked in unison.
“Something hot,” Angelica added the color slowly returning to her cheeks.
“Alright, and what about something for Beatrice?” Hilda asked.
“Hot chocolate,” Rico and Henrietta replied.
Spoiler:

Full five man band list
Triela- leader
Henrietta- lancer
Claes- smart girl
Angelica- chick
Rico- big guy
beatrice- team pet
tea- team mom
Great layering of an innocent situation (the girls sitting around watching television) and the continuing crisis (the ever-present need to post a watch). I take it this Negima another world show is based around the classic Japanese hero team...that's what's got them thinking along these lines?

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Wed 12 Oct 2011 - 16:56

Negima just happens to be another anime that I like and has some magical girl and team elements in it. The team discussion I thought would be amusing and the part I am working on now is the agruement they have over which girl should get the male lead as the show has harem elements as well. I thought it would be good to show some more girls being normal elements and I can use it to give them some more character.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Wed 12 Oct 2011 - 18:31

Continue on, CI!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Tue 8 Nov 2011 - 15:35

GSG great escape chapter 28- Healing- is now out for your reading pleasure. The girls meet their esteemed doctor and you learn more about Hilda's background and her connection to Triela.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/28/GSG_great_escape
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by tremec6speed on Wed 9 Nov 2011 - 3:44

Crazyidiot78 wrote: "If Triela is the leader, then who is the big guy of our group?" Henrietta asked searching the many channels offered Hilda's satellite TV.

"Rico," Beatrice replied munching on biscotti in pure bliss.

"Yes, definitely Rico," Henrietta said nodding in agreement.

Smiling Rico took a big gulp of milk wiping her mouth on her sleeve. "Cool."
I like scenes like that, picturing it. Great story CI, eager to read more. Smile
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Thu 10 Nov 2011 - 19:05

Thanks Treme your comments and fan art is excellent and very apreciated. The pictures turned out better than I could have expected. I'm very impressed with how you have captured the scene and it looks better than anything I could have pictured in my head when writing it. Pictures removed at Tremes request


Again awsome job treme


Last edited by crazyidiot78 on Sun 1 Jan 2012 - 13:33; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : added the pictures wrong)
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Professor Voodoo on Fri 11 Nov 2011 - 10:25

Another fine chapter, Crazy. You certainly take the GsG story in some unexpected directions but you do it well. As always the cute, idle banter between the younger girls was a highlight.
"If you keep that up Rico, I'm going to call you my little Hillshire," Hilda said with a smile as the food continued to disappear.
"But I'm not Triela's handler," Rico replied her mouth full of food.
Wouldn't she call him Hartman?
"Yes, but you love bacon and sausage as much as Victor does. That's why his grandfather started calling Victor, Hillshire after a popular brand of American meat products." Hilda laughed.
Oh, okay, I get it.
Bullshit, you can barely stand. Angelica watched Claes nervously finger her new pigtails, frowning. Dam it, I'm relieved you're awake, but just how bad is it. Claes never would have let you touch her hair for just anything.
I really like that bit about Claes' hair...very nice shout-out to canon.

Terrific series of drawings by Tremec as well. You've used heavier, bolder lines than usual...it suits Claes well.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Thu 24 Nov 2011 - 13:23

No new chapter but some new pictures from Treme. Pictures removed at his request


Last edited by crazyidiot78 on Sun 1 Jan 2012 - 13:32; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : picture removal)
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crazyidiot78

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by MP5 on Thu 24 Nov 2011 - 14:50

Great series of pics!

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 24 Nov 2011 - 18:46

@crazyidiot78 wrote:some new pictures from Treme. Beatrice fishing hehehehe
*BOOM*

John: (rushing to the window) What was that? It sounded like it came from the lake!

Ferro: (never looking up from her paperwork) It's best to just not ask.

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I saw a werewolf drinking a Piña Colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by ElfenMagix on Fri 25 Nov 2011 - 0:39

Good

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Alfisti on Fri 25 Nov 2011 - 8:14

See now... that's the sort of fishing I'd be interested in.

Awesome stuff.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by tremec6speed on Sat 26 Nov 2011 - 1:48

Thanks guys for the compliments, I really appreciate it! Embarassed Smile
CI, I personally think you write a heck of a lot better than I draw, thanks again for the opportunity to illustrate your cool story.
I can't wait to read what happens next! head bang
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sun 25 Dec 2011 - 15:30

Gunslinger Girl great escape chapter 29 is now up for your reading pleasure. The girls are finaly free of the agency's shackles and there is a surprise revelation at the end.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5619600/29/GSG_great_escape
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crazyidiot78

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Me- It has come to my attention that it is impossible to buy liver in Mongolia because it is bad, but it is perfectly ok to buy salt sheep heads

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by tremec6speed on Sun 1 Jan 2012 - 13:05

Great story CI looking ahead to what happens next! The way you write about Tea makes me wish Mr. Aida had included such a character in his tales.
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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

Post by Pax on Thu 2 Feb 2012 - 17:02

Just dropping in to say I really enjoy this fic, Read through it twice, and, depending on how long the next update takes, I may read it a third time, haha.

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Re: Crazyidiot78's New story

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