Not GsG, but please give feedback if possible

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Not GsG, but please give feedback if possible

Post by SPARTAN 119 on Sun 24 Jan 2010 - 0:58

A crossover between Condemned 2: Bloodshot and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. Note that this takes place 25 years after Hinamizawa, so Keiichi and Rena are about 40 in this story.

Presenting Descent into Chaos.
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Re: Not GsG, but please give feedback if possible

Post by ElfenMagix on Sun 24 Jan 2010 - 10:18

I dont know neither series, but it sounds promising as an action pack thriller.

You should separate your dialog. It is fine if there is a statement make by 1 character in a paragraph, but not two. Things can get confusing if it were a larger paragraph, heavy with dialog.

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