Scuderia Ferrari

Every few months, Michele makes a wine run across the border into France with his 330 GTC:




To help handlers who work on night missions, the SWA Q Branch developed a glow in the dark Ferrari F355:




Little Britney finally succumbed to the adage "when in Rome..." and bought a Ferrari 308 GT4:




For April Fools Day, the cyborgs decided to "redecorate" Pieri Lorenzo's 512 TR (fortunately, they used removable decal wraps):




Allison then decided to "make it look faster":




Claes then had her modify Michele's F40 so she could still bike in the park:



Don't drink and then order your Ferrari's interior:

Kiskaloo wrote:

For April Fools Day, the cyborgs decided to "redecorate" Pieri Lorenzo's 512 TR (fortunately, they used removable decal wraps):

Lorenzo: (jaw hanging wide open) I...I'm gonna kill them.

Michele: Relax Chief, it's just a prank.

Elio: Yeah, it could have been a lot worse...

The true reason Michele had to replace his 456...



[Over dinner the next day.]

Marisa (to Michele): "Those cats really have it in for you, sir! Maybe you should consider getting a dog?"

Kara: "Yeah...cats..."

Michele:

Kiskaloo wrote:The true reason Michele had to replace his 456...
[Over dinner the next day.]

Marisa (to Michele): "Those cats really have it in for you, sir! Maybe you should consider getting a dog?"

Kara: "Yeah...cats..."

Michele:

Jeeze...I don't think nefarious felines can be blamed this time. The way that thing blew up at 0:23 I fear Michele may have rubbed one of the Bomb Squad Girls the wrong way.

Michele: (re-grading 4 papers with a trembling hand) On second thought...all of you girls deserve an A on that essay I assigned in history class. Actually, make those A+!

(I'm guessing this is the last time he volunteers to substitute-teach while Ferro is on vacation).

Kiskaloo wrote: [Over dinner the next day.]

Marisa (to Michele): "Those cats really have it in for you, sir! Maybe you should consider getting a dog?"

[The following afternoon.]

Priscilla: "Ciao, Elio."

Elio nods his head politely in return greeting.

Priscilla: "I know your chummy with the Chief, but sometimes I think he takes your friendship too far."

Elio: "Pardon?"

Priscilla: "I know she's a cyborg so she's strong enough to keep him on the leash, but walking the Chief's dog seems a bit much, don't you think?"

Elio (to the sky): "MARISA!"

PA System: "Alboreto! Office!"

Professor Voodoo wrote:(I'm guessing this is the last time he volunteers to substitute-teach while Ferro is on vacation).

I actually think Michele would love to teach History and Science (say Chemistry)...

Kiskaloo wrote:
Priscilla: "I know she's a cyborg so she's strong enough to keep him on the leash, but walking the Chief's dog seems a bit much, don't you think?"

To be honest I think the Chief would have no shortage of eager cyborgs willing to borrow his dog.

As for cats...

Marisa: I actually think cats are really cool (when they're not sabotaging Mr. Pagani's cars). Personally I have a lot in common with cats.

Claes: Hmmm, you have a point. They're small & fast.

Marisa: Yes, and they're well armed.

Claes: Perfectly designed for killing.

Marisa: Very stealthy.

Claes: And they're all hairy and barf stuff up on the carpet.

Marisa: Yeah, just like....HEY! That's not what I mean!

Claes: Shall I order a litter box for you, Mari?

Marisa: Jerkwad.

I actually think Michele would love to teach History and Science (say Chemistry)...

I think Robert has called Physics for Avise Mancini...and the doctors are well suited to Biology, so Chemistry is available (please don't turn it into another cooking class, Michele). As for History I don't think Ferro would mind lightening her workload.

But this thread was supposed to be about Ferrari's. Getting back on topic;

Kara & Claes timidly tip-toe to Michele's office...
Kara: (whispering) You tell him! He wouldn't hit a girl with glasses!

Claes: Screw that...you tell him! You're always boasting about your "good karma!"

Michele: Tell me what, ladies?

Kara: Heh, heh...it's actually a funny story, Michele.

Michele: (buries face in hands) Oh please tell me you didn't trash another one of my cars.

Claes: Well...no...I can say with absolute honesty that we did not trash another one of your cars.

Spoiler:

Michele walks out to the "599 wing" of his garage, counting off the various models:

Michele wrote:
599GTB? Check.

599XX? Check

599 GTO? Check

599 Hybrid? Check

So what's next on his list?

The Ferrari 599 Spider. Due to be revealed to selected customers in Maranello and then to the world at Pebble Beach.



Kara (standing sentinel at the mailbox, waiting for the invitation): "They're like Pokemon! You've gotta collect em all!"

Kiskaloo wrote:Kara (standing sentinel at the mailbox, waiting for the invitation): "They're like Pokemon! You've gotta collect em all!"

If not, she'll have to find a friend to link Game Boys with and trade.

As for History I don't think Ferro would mind lightening her workload.

Avise was tempted to take History once, so he could spend long afternoons waxing lyrical about the myriad glories of the irrepressible Italian war machine and suitably inspire the cyborgs to assert themselves as peerless paragons of the Republic to match the might of yesteryear... until he checked up a few books and remembered that modern Italy's military history has been one long dismal round of incompetence, catastrophe, laxity, confusion and unmitigated, irredeemable failure. He quietly and discreetly shelved his lesson plans, and contented himself with physics!

rusty-spring wrote:

Kiskaloo wrote:Kara (standing sentinel at the mailbox, waiting for the invitation): "They're like Pokemon! You've gotta collect em all!"

If not, she'll have to find a friend to link Game Boys with and trade.

I wonder what kind of consternation she will cause when she walks the line of available colors and then tosses an ice cube from her drink at the one she likes most...

Robert Frazer wrote:

As for History I don't think Ferro would mind lightening her workload.

Avise was tempted to take History once, so he could spend long afternoons waxing lyrical about the myriad glories of the irrepressible Italian war machine and suitably inspire the cyborgs to assert themselves as peerless paragons of the Republic to match the might of yesteryear... until he checked up a few books and remembered that modern Italy's military history has been one long dismal round of incompetence, catastrophe, laxity, confusion and unmitigated, irredeemable failure. He quietly and discreetly shelved his lesson plans, and contented himself with physics!

Michele is a military history buff.

Just not an Italian military history buff.

Robert Frazer wrote:Avise was tempted to take History once, so he could spend long afternoons waxing lyrical about the myriad glories of the irrepressible Italian war machine and suitably inspire the cyborgs to assert themselves as peerless paragons of the Republic to match the might of yesteryear... until he checked up a few books and remembered that modern Italy's military history has been one long dismal round of incompetence, catastrophe, laxity, confusion and unmitigated, irredeemable failure. He quietly and discreetly shelved his lesson plans, and contented himself with physics!

Jethro: Hey, Mancini! How many gears does an Italian tank have?

Avise: Shut up, Blacker.

(the correct answer of course being "one forward and seven reverse")

I kind of thought there were a lot of "burning 458" pics popping up on the web...Ferrari recalls 458.


Marisa: YEEESSSSS!!! I'm not guilty this time! Exonerated! Innocent! Acquitted! Cleared of all charges! (does victory dance)

Jean: (grumbling) Would you please smack her or sedate her or something?

Elio: (facepalm) Both...gladly.

Heh, that actually made the national news today. Apparently only five individual vehicles have caught fire due to this fault, but it shows that if nothing else Ferrari have a keen eye for design - their cars even destroy themselves impressively! Ferraris and other supercars are so often smooth and blemishless and immaculate, but seeing them cars shrink in on themselves or crumple into gravel is a sight to behold.

Robert Frazer wrote: Ferrari have a keen eye for design - their cars even destroy themselves impressively! Ferraris and other supercars are so often smooth and blemishless and immaculate, but seeing them cars shrink in on themselves or crumple into gravel is a sight to behold.

With most of the car being constructed of plastic, aluminum & carbon laminates there isn't much left on the car when the flames go out.


Michele: I'm so glad you're amused Robert. It makes watching a €200,000 car go up in flames almost worth it.

Michele: "First the Gallardo. Now the 458. Maybe I should just buy a Ford Fusion."

Kara:


Model: Chiaki Kudou

Kiskaloo wrote:Michele: "First the Gallardo. Now the 458. Maybe I should just buy a Ford Fusion.

I just had a brand new Fusion for 3 weeks. As rental cars go it wasn't bad. Stay tuned for Elio Alboreto's Rental Review...

Allison: A Ford Fusion?! Michele, if you're going to buy a Ford, do it right. All there really is to it is deciding if you like All-wheel drive, Rear-wheel drive with the engine up front, or rear-wheel drive with the motor just behind your shoulder:


Shelby GT 500


Ford GT


Ford Escort RS Cosworth

MP5 wrote:Allison: A Ford Fusion?! Michele, if you're going to buy a Ford, do it right. All there really is to it is deciding if you like All-wheel drive, Rear-wheel drive with the engine up front, or rear-wheel drive with the motor just behind your shoulder:


Shelby GT 500

Claes: "I can vouch for this one!"

MP5 wrote:Allison: A Ford Fusion?! Michele, if you're going to buy a Ford, do it right.

Elio: Well, Allison, I can't speak for Pagani, but Ford fans & the Ferrari tifosi have had a serious rivalry since the early 1960's. It all started when Henry Ford II and Enzo Ferrari made a deal to merge (more of a Ford buy-out). Ferrari would have benefitted from Ford's vast dealer network, Ford would have the draw of exotics in their showrooms (come in to see the new Ferrari, walk out with the keys to a new Falcon) Ford paid almost all the legal fees, but unfortunately the Commendatore backed out at the last minute.

Marisa: Was Henry the Second pissed off?

Elio: (nods) Aye...pissed off enough to launch an all-out attack on Ferrari on the racetrack.
Cobra's attacked GTO's in the GT championships.


The GT40 won 4 straight times at LeMans...Ferrari hasn't won there since.


...and Ford-Cosworth DFV engines were the dominant choice in Formula One all the way into the 1980's.

Allison: Cool...did you get to see those races in person?

Elio: (laughs) Not all...but quite a few. I was there when Chris Amon & Bruce McLaren won LeMans in '66.

Allison: (whispering) Wow...your handler is really old. (Marisa nods in agreement)

Michele: Hey, do I hear that half-English bastardo spreading his Ford propaganda!?

in '66 the average ford in Europe was more like this,




The ford Anglia 1198cc engine,so unless you're Harry potter ...........

So after Monza I had to go back to work, which meant getting my bum down to Foggia in the southeastern end of the "boot". Since the weather was gorgeous, I rented a 458 Italia and took the A14 ("the Adriatic Motorway") which runs long the eastern coast from Bologna to Taranto.

Jezza and Kara were right - that car is epic.

...envy.

Kiskaloo wrote: I rented a 458 Italia and took the A14 ("the Adriatic Motorway") which runs long the eastern coast from Bologna to Taranto.

Jezza and Kara were right - that car is epic.

Don't tell us you forgot to bring a camera. How about some pictures?

Alfisti wrote:...envy.

Ditto.

Professor Voodoo wrote:

Kiskaloo wrote: I rented a 458 Italia and took the A14 ("the Adriatic Motorway") which runs long the eastern coast from Bologna to Taranto.

Jezza and Kara were right - that car is epic.

Don't tell us you forgot to bring a camera. How about some pictures?

All I have is the one on the iPhone and it bites. It's red with a tan interior so you can find plenty of pictures of them on the web in high-resolution glory.

I do need to get an SLR one of these days, just to snap the sunsets up in Seattle as of late, but since I tend to have a photographic memory for images, I've never really found much use for cameras.

Kiskaloo wrote:

MP5 wrote:Allison: A Ford Fusion?! Michele, if you're going to buy a Ford, do it right. All there really is to it is deciding if you like All-wheel drive, Rear-wheel drive with the engine up front, or rear-wheel drive with the motor just behind your shoulder:


Shelby GT 500

Claes: "I can vouch for this one!"

did u draw these two if so great job

Nah, that is some screen caps of Aoi Futaba from the anime Asobi ni Iku Yo - but she is a decent model for an 18-year old Claes, IMO, which is how old she is in my OC universe (having been "upgraded").

A group of adult handlers and staff are at the taverna down the road winding down after a long day of dealing with their young charges. Eventually the check comes, everyone reaches for their wallets...

Michele: (feeling more than a little buzzed) Don't worry about that, I've got this one. (hands the bartender his AmEx card)

Bartender: I'm sorry Mister P...your card has been declined.

Michele: What? That's an American Express Black...how could it possibly be declined?

Bartender: Say's here there's been some abnormal activity on your account.

Brian: You don't think...?

Michele: (grrrr) I do think.

Spoiler:

Kara: Hey Michele...you'll never guess what you get a discount on when you buy in bulk!

Brain: "I think you're gonna need a bigger garage."

Michele: "Speaking of sharks, can I ask a favor next time you and Marisa go diving, Elio?"

Elio: "I'm not sure a shark can eat a cyborg..."

Kiskaloo wrote:Brain: "I think you're gonna need a bigger garage."

Michele: "Speaking of sharks, can I ask a favor next time you and Marisa go diving, Elio?"

Elio: "I'm not sure a shark can eat a cyborg..."

Monty undercover at the Monaco Historics:



Monty: "I'm smiling at the thought of the terrible things I am going to do to you, Jethro."

---

Jay practices his modeling skills:



Allison: "Since when do I wear glasses?"

Jay: "I thought you'd look cute in them."

---

With all the heat back at the compound, Kara and Marisa decide to get out of town for awhile and head to Milan on a shopping trip:

Kiskaloo wrote:
Allison: "Since when do I wear glasses?"

Jay: "I thought you'd look cute in them."

A few days later...

Brian: Allison, why are you wearing glasses? Your vision is perfect.

Allison: Well, um, you see... *starts blushing furiously*

Brian: *grinning* Oh, I get it now. Jay said you looked cute in them, didn't he? That's adorable!

Allison: Brian! Not so loud!

Brian: *ruffling her hair* Don't worry, when I was your age, I kinda did that sorta thing when there was a female classmate I fancied.

Allison: Did it ever pan out?

Brian: *frowning* Sadly, no. Maybe I should've gotten a Triumph, leather jacket, and six-string guitar...

Elio: *from down the hall* No copying!

in an attempt to curb excess spending in these time of financial hardship the SWA penpushers hire a cab firm to take care of their travel needs

Kiskaloo wrote:
With all the heat back at the compound, Kara and Marisa decide to get out of town for awhile and head to Milan on a shopping trip:

If they're shopping in that particular store, Michele's Amex card could be going into meltdown.

Kara just had a complete and total freak-out.

Ferrari World amusement park in Abu Dhabi.



Kara: Why hasn't anyone told me about this!? Michele! Fire up the plane!

Fernando: I can see somebody's conditioning being increase to 'Tamed Elephant'.

Alfisti wrote:If they're shopping in that particular store, Michele's Amex card could be going into meltdown.

Yeah. Many of those watches cost more than the 458. Hell, one of them costs almost as much as the Veyron!

oh that's what $900,000 that is a lot of money for a watch

Gold plated 599GTB.

Michele: You have got to be kidding me.

Fernando: Dont laugh Michele. I always wanted a gold plated Delorean...

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Gold plated 599GTB.

Michele: You have got to be kidding me.

Matthew: Damn! Now that's what I'm talkin' bout! Now we just need to add some 22's, Lambo doors, and a dope-ass sound system with 20 speakers!

Elsewhere...

Allison and Kara shudder in unison.

Allison: Did you feel that?

Kara: Yeah...

Allison: Good, I'm not the only one with a sudden urge to violently murder Matthew for committing crimes against aesthetics. Though that is an oddly specific urge...

lol

I don't have a goofy way to tie cyborgs into this...I just thought this was an impressive, albeit pointless piece of work.

A Wooden Engine?

That wouldn't run cause it wouldn't start...

ElfenMagix wrote:A Wooden Engine?

That wouldn't run cause it wouldn't start...

You've just made me waste a lot of time thinking about that. Electrical parts of course would have to me made of metal, as wood is a very poor conductor of spark. Apart from that it might actually be possible to build a reciprocating piston engine out of wood.

It would have to be very low compression...so low that it might not produce enough torque to overcome its own internal friction. For that reason I'd try a single or a V-twin before a complex V-12. Your next issue would be with valve springs, but that could be resolved by using a desmodromic valve train like on Ducati's. They use no springs, there are 2 lobes on the cam for each valve, one pushes a rocker arm that opens the valve, one pushes the rocker to close it.

If you did actually get it to fire up I see no reason why it couldn't run for a few seconds before it was destroyed by heat. Care to give it a try, Allison?

Allison: Hell no...it's still a stupid idea.

It would make a nice model on a shelf in Michele's apartment.

I wonder if it came from this?

Professor Voodoo wrote: Your next issue would be with valve springs, but that could be resolved by using a desmodromic valve train like on Ducati's. They use no springs, there are 2 lobes on the cam for each valve, one pushes a rocker arm that opens the valve, one pushes the rocker to close it.

I almost wonder if it wouldn't be better to go with a rotating cylinder liner rather than traditional valves. Less small parts to break for a starter (tiny little lifter arms for the desmodromic valves... difficult to make out of wood). For a block I don't think you could use fresh wood, but if you could get a hold of some old hardwood beams (that have had time to get really hard) it might well be able to take the compression loads... you know, before catching on fire like you said.

Alfisti wrote: I almost wonder if it wouldn't be better to go with a rotating cylinder liner rather than traditional valves. Less small parts to break for a starter (tiny little lifter arms for the desmodromic valves... difficult to make out of wood). For a block I don't think you could use fresh wood, but if you could get a hold of some old hardwood beams (that have had time to get really hard) it might well be able to take the compression loads... you know, before catching on fire like you said.

You've got me thinking along different lines here...why not just go with a side-valve flathead engine? It would still have to be 4-stroke...you'd need that cooling cycle to make it last longer than a few seconds.

As for the block I nominate Lignum-vitae wood...which used to be carved into ball bearings during the wooden ship days.

Allison: I can't believe you fools are still talking about this.

Voodoo: Well, I've been drinking Irish whiskey for the last 3 hours.

Allison: Awww! Come on, share!

Voodoo: You're underage.

Allison: And you suck.