New Cyborg Features

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Nachtsider on Tue 11 Dec 2007 - 13:53

We can't possibly accept integral heaters - that way, all our hilarious 'fratello in a sleeping bag' scenarios would go to waste...

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Guest on Tue 11 Dec 2007 - 14:00

Not necessarily. The girls would now be turned into the equivalent of one of those electric heating blankets, or a heated pillow.
"Hillshire! Do you have to, er, be quite this close?"
"I'm sorry, Triela, but...it's just that it's so cold and your so.. hot."

[p.s. - Please don't take this too far, people.]

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Wileama on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 21:34

you know what that makes me think of? A glove. Not just any glove though, oh no. This glove was developed to cool the blood flowing though your hand. Using this glove a lab tech went from 100 pull ups a work out session to 600 in just 12 weeks. After 4 months the head researcher, age 60, did 1000 push ups. Reverse the concept, and you can heat the blood. Allowing you to survive in the bitter cold.

Ever seen Amirtage the Third: Dual matrix? A robot in the film takes her body way past it's operating limits. One of the results is the radiator on her back, and upper arms fries her skin off. If course she's a complete super double badass for as long as she managed to keep it up.

So yeah. I declare it a cool idea.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by LoC978 on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 22:28

3klicks wrote:p.s. - Please don't take this too far, people.
...I can't help m'self. Don't worry, it stops at innuendo and embarassment.

---SOMEWHERE IN SIBERIA---
3klicks wrote:-Triela:"Hillshire! Do you have to, er, be quite this close?"
-Hillshire: "I'm sorry, Triela, but...it's just that it's so cold and you're so... hot..."
-Triela:"Seriously, Hillshire... how do you expect me to sleep with you curled up against my belly like that?!"

-Hillshire:"It's not my fault they put your heater core in your midsection. It's frickin' cold out there!"

-Rico: *opens tentflap and peeks in* "Jean says we need to leave."

-Petra: *looking in over Rico's shoulder* "Oh!" (to Rico): "We shouldn't disturb them right now. Not until Mr. Hillshire is done."

-Hillshire: "D-done?!"

-Triela: *pushes Hillshire away from her* "Done with what?!"

-Petra: "Well, when 'Sandro slee... er..." *angles her head as though listening to someone in the distance* "Yes, 'Sandro! Coming!" *runs away*

-Rico: *out loud to herself* "... Her conditioning is making her hear stuff already..?"

-Triela & Hillshire: sweat "Yeah... that's it..."

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Wileama on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 22:44

:lol!:

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by ElfenMagix on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 22:54

:lol!: X 2

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Guest on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 22:59

@Wileama wrote:After 4 months the head researcher, age 60, did 1000 push ups.
That's pretty amazing. Hard to imagine a graying man pushing 1000 like a frikin' machine.

A lot of the research is pretty science fiction like. It's funny that researchers often actually take ideas ideas from science fiction authors. Of course, most of them are utterly implausible, but for the rest those guys quickly start thinking. Maybe we could do that.

(My favorite is giving soldiers the stomachs like those of swine. LOL)


LOL Sandro + cold + heater equipped Petra = very bad combination (They really shouldn't encourage him to be even more of a pervert. I'd say Jean would make a special request to abstain from upgrading Petra.)


After a long and exhausting journey through fields of snow Triela (should use a different character for a change, but she seems by far the most suited for this kind of comedy) finally made it to the portable command tent. As, she opened the flap and entered the tent she noticed a dozen pale white faces turn towards here with a twinkle in their eyes.
With a huff of exhaustion she turned to Hillshire and said "I'm here Hillshire. It took me all day, but I finally made it. What's that top priority top-secret mission you told me about."
"Oh, Triela, I'm so glad to see you. Turn up the heat, we're freezing here."


Another use of the cyborgs is as portable water heaters. This way the SWA forces can be kept in top condition through a series of rejuvenating hot baths in the field. Hell, if you take all the cyborgs together you can probably make a hot spring.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Nachtsider on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:03

Cue all those works of smut with hot springs as their centerpieces.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by LoC978 on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:11

@Nachtsider wrote:Cue all those works of smut with hot springs as their centerpieces.
like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R54__FxyWac
-notice all the strategically placed plants/fences/bubbles/rubber ducks/legs. I think that alone makes this scene funny enough to be worth watching.


Last edited by on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:15; edited 1 time in total

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Guest on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:14

LOL That was a good episode. Heh, I guess I'd probably say that about every one of them. That show really cracked me up.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Nachtsider on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:15

I second LoC's opinion about the too-good-to-be-true positioning of those items he mentioned. What a joke...

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Guest on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:19

@Nachtsider wrote:I second LoC's opinion about the placing of those items he mentioned. What a joke...
"Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei" makes unconventional censoring techniques a standing joke in the series, although not quite as good. Oh, and there was a long sequence along those lines in teh Simpsons movie. There was one more anime, and it was really old (so it may actually be the one to come up with the idea), but, for the life of me, I can't dig it up out of my mind.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Wileama on Wed 12 Dec 2007 - 23:58

3klicks wrote:That's pretty amazing. Hard to imagine a graying man pushing 1000 like a frikin' machine.

3klicks wrote:A lot of the research is pretty science fiction like. It's funny that researchers often actually take ideas ideas from science fiction authors. Of course, most of them are utterly implausible, but for the rest those guys quickly start thinking. Maybe we could do that.
You know what TAZER stands for? Thomas AmaZing Electric Rifle. The name comes from a pulp fiction book series about some guy with an electric rifle that he can use to stun people at distance with. Guy read the book, and then turned out the TAZER. That's one of the awesome things about Science, and Science Fiction. They feed one another. It really is cool that way.

3klicks wrote:"Oh, Triela, I'm so glad to see you. Turn up the heat, we're freezing here."
\\Begins to laugh till sides hurt

3klicks wrote:Another use of the cyborgs is as portable water heaters. This way the SWA forces can be kept in top condition through a series of rejuvenating hot baths in the field. Hell, if you take all the cyborgs together you can probably make a hot spring.
\\Wipes tears from eyes.

Jose: Man the bath really is getting too hot.
Henrietta: EHHH! I'm sorry. [gets out of hot spring] There is it better?!
Jose: Ah... I didn't... Yes... Thanks sweat
Triela: [looks at Hilshire] If this wasn't so relaxing I would have you tell me who thought this up, so I might kill him.
Sandro: ...

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Danjo3 on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 3:49

I think this forum has it's own version of Rule 34 - If there's a topic, there's porn for it.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by sasahara17 on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 4:30

@Wileama wrote:
3klicks wrote:"Oh, Triela, I'm so glad to see you. Turn up the heat, we're freezing here."
\\Begins to laugh till sides hurt

3klicks wrote:Another use of the cyborgs is as portable water heaters. This way the SWA forces can be kept in top condition through a series of rejuvenating hot baths in the field. Hell, if you take all the cyborgs together you can probably make a hot spring.
\\Wipes tears from eyes.

Jose: Man the bath really is getting too hot.
Henrietta: EHHH! I'm sorry. [gets out of hot spring] There is it better?!
Jose: Ah... I didn't... Yes... Thanks sweat
Triela: [looks at Hilshire] If this wasn't so relaxing I would have you tell me who thought this up, so I might kill him.
Sandro: ...
http://illiweb.com/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png
Very Happy
That is the most awesome use of cyborgs I've ever heard in my entire life. Reminds me of the Universal Soldier heating issues, but a thousand times more useful.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Nachtsider on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 5:23

@Danjo3 wrote:I think this forum has it's own version of Rule 34 - If there's a topic, there's porn for it.

I prefer to call it the Universal Rule of Pornographic Omnipresence.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by boomer_gonz on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 5:26

Careful Nacht.

Some quack out there might find a reason to get a grand ole UN Grant to study such a theory.

And to all the quacks out in the world. Yes, I would like a houses in Milan, New York, and Tokyo for finding out exactly what is the average number of times a person flushes the toilet.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Danjo3 on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 6:21

@Nachtsider wrote:I prefer to call it the Universal Rule of Pornographic Omnipresence.
Not bad. The URPO - what at first was a minor illness has now become a major epidemic. Hell, we could start a serious topic about Henrietta's eye color and two pages later we would all be wallowing in the muck. Sad, truly sad...

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Nachtsider on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 6:32

@Danjo3 wrote:Hell, we could start a serious topic about Henrietta's eye color and two pages later we would all be wallowing in the muck.

I'm seriously contemplating the conception of such a topic, if only as an experiment to see how many posts it takes for said thread to descend into an all-out smut-fest. Any takers?

Living dangerously was quite the staple for me in my youth, Boomer. Married life has virtually killed such tendencies, but the veritable Abigail that is my inner adrenaline junkie does exit her crypt on rare occasions.

Smell those Douglas firs.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Danjo3 on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 6:42

@Nachtsider wrote:I'm seriously contemplating the conception of such a topic, if only as an experiment to see how many posts it takes for said thread to descend into an all-out smut-fest. Any takers?
Shudders at the thought.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by boomer_gonz on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 13:07

@Nachtsider wrote:Living dangerously was quite the staple for me in my youth, Boomer. Married life has virtually killed such tendencies, but the veritable Abigail that is my inner adrenaline junkie does exit her crypt on rare occasions.

Smell those Douglas firs.

I prefer ash firs, they have the cones with the nuts in 'em that you can eat after you burn it down.
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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Guest on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 15:35

Reading the torture things on stuff here...

The Communist Russians didn't even bother using prisioners... they used their own people. People think the Nazis were bad, or the Imperialists of Japan were bad? Stalin starved a million of his own people to death.

What nation did nobody ask for POWs back? -- Russia. Nobody even considered asking Russia for POWs.

@Danjo3 wrote:I think this forum has it's own version of Rule 34 - If there's a topic, there's porn for it.
LOL.

@Nachtsider wrote:I'm seriously contemplating the conception of such a topic, if only as an experiment to see how many posts it takes for said thread to descend into an all-out smut-fest. Any takers?
*Raises hand*

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Guest on Thu 13 Dec 2007 - 16:03

@Danjo3 wrote:I think this forum has it's own version of Rule 34 - If there's a topic, there's porn for it.
Hey, hey. There is gradation in everything. The stuff on this thread so far is not any worse then what you see in your average anime. Considering that other threads discuss why Japanese pornography has people cum on the girls faces instead of inside them, or discussions of bi-tri-trans sexual orgies between all the members of the SWA, I declare this thread CLEAN.

Hot spring jokes, and the like are good clean fun.

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by Danjo3 on Fri 14 Dec 2007 - 2:03

3klicks wrote:Considering that other threads discuss why Japanese pornography has people cum on the girls faces instead of inside them, or discussions of bi-tri-trans sexual orgies between all the members of the SWA, I declare this thread CLEAN.
I can't argue with that!

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by ElfenMagix on Tue 25 Dec 2007 - 22:02

SCUM, FILTH, MUD, SHIT, FUNGUS, MOLD, SOOT, SOIL, CRAP, TRASH, USED MOTOR OIL, GRIME, GARBAGE, STAIN, BROKEN DOWN BIO MATTER, VOMIT...

Though there might be more, I think I got the dirty words out of my system. Now we can go on with a clean fourm!

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Re: New Cyborg Features

Post by LoC978 on Tue 25 Dec 2007 - 22:37

GASTRIC DISCHARGE!
:powerhurl:

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