Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

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Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by Robert Frazer on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 12:27

What's worse than terrorism, insurgency, subervsion, insurrection, and civil war? A boss who's had a clever idea... the Social Welfare Agency's toy cupboard is full to bursting, but the problem with having lots of equipment is the temptation to use it!

I love writing for comics - there's a real tangible thrill that comes from seeing someone draw your writing, a sense that it's coming to life... and, if nothing else, you know that at least one person liked your work if it animated him enough to paint it!

After Passion Lives Here fell through, I thought that I might try a short, light-hearted fancomic instead of PLH's lengthy drama of high emotion and Machievellian intrigue, as an easier and more inviting prospect for artists who might not want to get entangled in projects encompassing two to three years of weekly updates. Another potential artist has recently stepped back from "Firing For Effect", though, and so that it doesn't languish on my hard-drive until we all scorn our corporeal bodies and join our consciousnesses as one in the Digi-Matrix, I thought that I might as well put the script out there. Hopefully your own mental visualisation will be an acceptable substitute for actual art on the page...

A while back Professor Voodoo suggested a change in Agapita's loadout to include an automatic grenade launcher, allowing her to pack an even heavier punch. "Firing For Effect" takes a gander at how that might pan out.

[fanfiction.net link]

Also including roles for Allison, Kara, Britney and Marisa.

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 12:54

Awesome stuff.

Yeah, Kara would be more upset at her new boots being ruined then the legs they were covering now being shattered carbon-fiber, crushed titanium and leaking fluids. Wink

Of course she'd be really annoyed that Michele would force her to take the support van back to the hospital...

Kara: "Why do I have to go back in the van?"

Michele: "I don't want you leaking hydraulic fluid all over the carpets in the Aston. That stuff is a bitch to get out of lambswool!"

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by MP5 on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 16:10

Oh, I love it! The only thing I would add is a little more enrapturement on Allison's part:

Allison: Ooh, I hear a V8 in there! It could be a Hemi!

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by Professor Voodoo on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 21:43

It's a riot! The Rico screw-up works great and takes full adavantage of cyborgs as a plot device (i.e. if any uninitiated reader didn't know how invulnerable they are they'd discover it upon seeing Agapita yelling at Rico with her arms blown off).

The OC's are all true to their natures...Kara more concerned about her shoes than her legs...Allison getting moon-eyed over the vehicle that's trying to kill her...Marisa jumping off a rooftop for a snarling, unreserved attack, and then doing something dumb to blow it all. The only one who seemed out of character seemed to be Britney, who is usually not trusted with a loaded gun.

Nice touch with the chunks of asphalt being torn up like a wake...that will go a long way toward implying speed & motion. As for the Mk.19...yeah, maybe not the best choice for an urban setting, but I'd love to see Agapita wearing it on her hip...hopefully dressed in her usual civilian street clothes.

The beret is a cool character touch for her...that's worth incorporating into my own tales.


Last edited by Professor Voodoo on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 22:26; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 21:58

funny!!!

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by Piero on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 22:45

That might have been a good situation for having Alessia's Kord handy. Only problem is the thing is so damn big that it's pretty much never going to be on hand unless someone identifies a need to have it on hand prior to deployment!

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by Alfisti on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 23:05

Wow, your comic scripts are... really neat and ordered. Mine are a mess of dialogue, red notes and vaugly defined pages

-AGAPITA's arms shoot in – she slaps both hands above the muzzle to physically obstruct it!

Aww, I was waiting for the Stripes "oh shit. Incoming." moment...


Brilliant work as always mate.

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Re: Firing For Effect: A Comic Script

Post by Robert Frazer on Fri 2 Jul 2010 - 10:05

Thanks for the comments, everyone.

Kara: "Why do I have to go back in the van?"

Michele: "I don't want you leaking hydraulic fluid all over the carpets in the Aston. That stuff is a bitch to get out of lambswool!"

Allison: Ooh, I hear a V8 in there! It could be a Hemi!

Both worth a chuckle - I'll see if I can edit those in.

i.e. if any uninitiated reader didn't know how invulnerable they are they'd discover it upon seeing Agapita yelling at Rico with her arms blown off).

Yeah, one of the things comics force you to do is show-don't-tell. If you're explaining everything in captions you may as well have just written prose in the first place.

The only one who seemed out of character seemed to be Britney, who is usually not trusted with a loaded gun.

Weeeeeeeellll, this wasn't the most well-planned of the Agency's operations.

The beret is a cool character touch for her...that's worth incorporating into my own tales.

I like the beret - it first comes from the costume designs that Alfisti sketched for me a while back, and it's a pretty adaptable piece of headgear which I think can go with a number of different outfits, and they do give a girl a bit of chic style too.

That might have been a good situation for having Alessia's Kord handy.

Interesting video, although it was a little frustrating with the way they kept cutting away from the target. Speaking of heavy weapons for runaway battlewagons, it was interesting to read that they were planning to blow up Marvin Heemeyer's 'Killdozer' with a Hellfire missile from an Apache helicopter before he did himself in... I bet that the National Guard were really disappointed they didn't get to play with their toys.

Wow, your comic scripts are... really neat and ordered. Mine are a mess of dialogue, red notes and vaugly defined pages

I suppose mine have to be, because I'm writing for someone else so I need to make sure that everything is communicated clearly. As you're both writer and artist together, you only need to express youself!

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