Some say...

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Some say...

Post by MP5 on Sat 7 Aug 2010 - 8:48

As Top Gear Italy expands its repertoire, more power laps will be done, which means that they need creative ways to introduce their pet racing driver. with that in mind, please post your silliest, most factual, or most outrageous "Stigette-isms" in this thread. I'll start it off, to guide newcomers in the right direction.



"Some say she believes 'Smokey and the Bandit' is a documentary, and that she has been secretly carrying on an affair worthy of a soap opera behind her elder brother's back with Rubens Barichello. All we know is, she's called The Stigette."

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Re: Some say...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 7 Aug 2010 - 10:47

Kara in Episode 01:

"Some say she likes to dab a bit of 10W-30 behind each ear before a date…and that if she’d been the pilot of the two-woman bobsleigh team at the 2006 Winter Games, we’d have won the Gold instead of the Bronze. All we know is…she’s not The Stig, but she is The Stig’s little sister!”

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Re: Some say...

Post by boomer_gonz on Sat 7 Aug 2010 - 13:08

Some say she is the last descendant of Roman chariot racers, and that she has a pet Bassett Hound named Sparco, all we know is that she goes by...The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Sun 8 Aug 2010 - 23:57

"Some say that while making love, her moans sound exactly like the whine of a supercharger...and that recently, she has made plans to elope with Rubens Barichello despite her brother's protests. All we know is, she's called The Stigette."

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Wed 29 Sep 2010 - 22:33

"Some say that she once completed the 12 Hours of Bathurst on roller skates... and that she also trimmed the whiskers off of a stray cat with two fingers. All we know is, she's called The Stigette."

"Some say that she is distantly related to at least one Somalian pirate... and that she is Facebook friends with Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, and the Old Spice Man... all we know is, she's called The Stigette."

"Some say that if you spot her at a trendy night club, she has a visible 'tramp stamp' above her bum that reads 'If you're going to ride my arse, at least pull my hair'... and that she is befuddled by the usage of spoons. All we know is, she's called The Stigette."

"Some say that she is responsible for the innovation of sliced bread... and that she has built-in Traction Control. All we know is, she's called The Stigette."

"Some say that she has adaptive bosoms that swivel as she makes a turn... and that the Catians are her childhood friends. All we know is, she's called The Stigette."

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Re: Some say...

Post by boomer_gonz on Thu 30 Sep 2010 - 5:03

Some say the Desire Wilson has her on speed dial and that she convinced Michael Shumacher out of retirement...all we know is that she is the Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Jacen Starslayer on Sat 9 Oct 2010 - 0:06

Some say that she is just a fleeting fantasy, a shadow in the corner of your eye...All we know is she's called the Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sat 9 Oct 2010 - 0:25

Some say that Cosworth Engineering was asked to consult on her cyborg construction, and that she carries a veal scallopini in her wallet just for emergencies. All we know is; she's called the Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 0:32

Some say that she makes a drinking game out of every Australian V8 Supercar race... and that she is Sebastian Vettel's loan shark as of the Korean Grand Prix. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

Some say that to reduce weight, her lady-parts are constructed out of carbon fiber and kevlar... and that if she ran an independent coffee shop, she'd have a 12-gauge shotgun under the counter reserved for every meathead frat boy and his soccer-momlet girlfriend who thinks that every coffee shop is a Starbucks... all we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by ACH on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 2:21

Some say that She's secretly a lesbian and that If you got in a car with her you will not come back out.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Officer_Charon on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 3:10

Some say that she's turned all 18 holes of The Masters into her personal drift course, and that she carries a length of pipe, "just in case." All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Nachtsider on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 4:21

This thread makes me feel funny in my gearshift region.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Officer_Charon on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 15:36

Just don't lose your ball bearings.

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"The two loudest sounds you will ever hear from your weapon are the *bang* when it's supposed to go *click* and the *click* when it's supposed to go *bang*." -Unknown

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 16:40

Triela: Some say that she is the worst therapist ever...and that because I don't get enough screen time on this show, I forgot to make up a second thing. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Jacen Starslayer on Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 21:35

Jay: Some say that she's a pure-blooded vampire that feasts on the blood of virgins, all we know is she's called the Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sun 7 Nov 2010 - 14:53

Some say she was the runt of the litter and that it was with the help of a spider that put her ahead. All we know is she's called The Stigette!

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Thu 18 Nov 2010 - 1:19

Petrushka: Some say that she believes that actual beetles found in nature are powered by miniature radial engines... and that if she listened to Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight", she would be able to punch Mike Tyson when his favorite part came on. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by Officer_Charon on Sun 9 Jan 2011 - 3:40

Some say that she believes that Spam acts as an alternate fuel source, and that herb gardens are for those with a penchant for kleptomania. All we know is, she's call the Stigette!

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Si vis pacem, para bellum

"The two loudest sounds you will ever hear from your weapon are the *bang* when it's supposed to go *click* and the *click* when it's supposed to go *bang*." -Unknown

"220 horses, I got a gun, a siren, a tank full of city gas. Don't you love it?!" - Ofc. Maurice "Bosco" Boscarelli, Third Watch
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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 0:36

Some say that if she sung 'The Star Spangled Banner' at the Super Bowl this year, you'd hear the Jimi Hendrix rendition...and that she has a portrait of Mika Häkkinen tattooed on her right buttock. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

Some say that she honed her skill on Mount Akina delivering Tofu for her father in the wee hours of the morning... and that she recently had a portrait of Michael Schumacher tattooed on her left buttock to re-live an old F1 rivalry on her derriere. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by SPARTAN 119 on Sun 10 Apr 2011 - 22:13

Some say that she is actually the source of all those Nigerian scam e-mails, and that the knows the cheat codes to real life.... All we know is she's called the Stigette!
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Re: Some say...

Post by Nachtsider on Sat 17 Sep 2011 - 12:58

Some say that she was born of the union between a drunken Stirling Moss and a certain red and white '58 Plymouth Fury.

That weapons-grade liquid plutonium courses through her veins in lieu of blood.

That dubstep music was based on the aortal technobeat of her hellbound heart.

That she put the bomp in the bomp-bomp-bomp.

That the Tunguska event resulted from her having one too many meals at Taco Bell.

That she was the reason why Freddie Mercury once contemplated living forever.

That she alone knows the fabled question whose answer is 'forty-two'.

That the Tower of London's ravens are all that keep the full, terrifying range of her cataclysmic powers in check.

All we know, however... is that she's called the Stigette.

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There may be no peace for the wicked, but the righteous can damn well get a piece whenever they feel like it.
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Re: Some say...

Post by Nachtsider on Sat 17 Sep 2011 - 21:03

Some say that she once performed a nude pole dance using the Washington Memorial as a pole, causing the mighty obelisk to grow a full one hundred feet - a phenomenon that lasted an entire month after she was chased off the premises by prudish security guards.

That she once circumnavigated the globe by swimming the distance, taking the term 'breast stroke' extremely literally.

That if she ever kissed and told, the ensuing revelations would plunge the entire world into the most destructive war humanity will ever have the misfortune to know.

That her tears of joy heal any disease when drunk, while her tears of sadness are deadlier than cyanide... but she never, ever cries.

That Mick Jagger once claimed to be pregnant with her baby, not the other way around.

That different parts of her body have different and exquisite flavors, but none dare admit to having tasted the prize.

That her brain's electrical output would have been more than enough to reliably power Doc Brown's flux capacitor for more than a hundred years, if only he had bothered to request her assistance.

That she could easily repopulate the world after an extinction level event, if she only had partners who could equal her libido.

That she is the sole individual whose passport photo features their concealed face, and that said document lists her occupation as 'force of nature'.

All we know, however... is that she's called the Stigette.

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There may be no peace for the wicked, but the righteous can damn well get a piece whenever they feel like it.
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Re: Some say...

Post by Nachtsider on Sun 18 Sep 2011 - 20:37

Some say that she lives in a mansion with no windows, doors or right angles.

That every time she steps out of it, she breaks through the wall without breaking a sweat... never twice in the same spot.

That the cost of repairs to the house's walls, at time of writing, exceeds the gross national product of several First World countries put together.

That the interior of the house is an exact facsimile of the interior of Timothy Leary's head.

That she has a dry-cleaning machine in lieu of a shower cubicle.

That only a blowtorch can give her a satisfactory bikini wax.

That her lovely tapered digits can vibrate more pleasurably than any sex toy.

That she once went on a binge-eating spree that caused Europe-wide famine, and that the Cullinan diamond was found blocking her toilet bowl the morning after.

That the sole beneficiary in her obscenely substantial will is a bonsai cannabis plant named Kaya.

That she keeps a photograph of the Somerton Man under her pillow, and does naught but sigh a wistful sigh whenever questioned about the Taman Shud case.

All we know, however... is that she's called the Stigette.

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There may be no peace for the wicked, but the righteous can damn well get a piece whenever they feel like it.
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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Sun 18 Sep 2011 - 21:02

Some say that her body hair is made out of velour...and that her guard dog is a Fez-wearing Corgi with a Kalashnikov. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

Some say that she always knows where Waldo is, all the time... and that she secretes High-Fructose Corn Syrup when in heat. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.


Last edited by MP5 on Sun 18 Sep 2011 - 21:14; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Some say...

Post by Nachtsider on Sun 18 Sep 2011 - 21:09

Some say that her Corgi is the protégé of the late, great Comrade Dmitri-9, and that if you knew the exact source of the aforementioned High-Fructose Corn Syrup, she'd have to kill you. All we know, however... is that she's called the Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Sun 18 Sep 2011 - 21:36

Some say Congenital Birth Defects are the result of her punching people so hard, their grandchildren feel it... and that she hated hipsters before it was cool to hate them. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by tremec6speed on Wed 21 Sep 2011 - 0:02

Some say (in hushed whispers)
that she's the Nowhere Gal,
driving in her Chaparral,
making all her fastest laps,
winking at the chaps she's lapped,
Yet all we know is she's called The Stigette
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Re: Some say...

Post by Nachtsider on Wed 21 Sep 2011 - 4:29

Some say that birds suddenly appear every time she is near and that stars fall down from the sky every time she walks by. All we know, however... is that she's called the Stigette.

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There may be no peace for the wicked, but the righteous can damn well get a piece whenever they feel like it.
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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Thu 22 Sep 2011 - 22:44

Some say that her barbecue grill is fueled by Nitromethane...and that she worries about any inquiry into her salary, because she is paid in strong Japanese male-on-male pornography. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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Re: Some say...

Post by MP5 on Fri 7 Oct 2011 - 6:23

Some say that only she knows the true meaning of this picture...



...and that she is always sure to drink her Ovaltine, even though she's not quite sure what it is. All we know is, she's called The Stigette.

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