Re: Bad Idea's

by **Kiskaloo** on Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 18:35

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Kiskaloo wrote:So I'm worried this piece of rolling feces might actually show up in the PM's motorpool some day.

If I were a betting man I'd lay odds against it. Would Morgan try it? Sure. VW/Bugatti? Maybe.

But Rolls-Royce? Their buyers demand a reputation of stately conservatism and this certainly doesn't fit that description. Even the "wildest" Rolls model is pretty stodgy by mainstream standards and I doubt the company would be willing to risk its market image by putting such a thing into production.

Very true.

by **ElfenMagix** on Fri 11 Feb 2011 - 18:38

Kiskaloo wrote:
Professor Voodoo wrote:
Kiskaloo wrote:So I'm worried this piece of rolling feces might actually show up in the PM's motorpool some day.

If I were a betting man I'd lay odds against it. Would Morgan try it? Sure. VW/Bugatti? Maybe.

But Rolls-Royce? Their buyers demand a reputation of stately conservatism and this certainly doesn't fit that description. Even the "wildest" Rolls model is pretty stodgy by mainstream standards and I doubt the company would be willing to risk its market image by putting such a thing into production.

Very true.

I agree.

by Professor Voodoo on Thu 17 Feb 2011 - 21:10

Yet more indignities are heaped upon Fernando's 928...

Rachel: Twice the cargo area. Do you think he'll like it?

Kara: Where's Francesca going to sit?

Rachel: Like I said...there's plenty of cargo area for her!

by **ElfenMagix** on Thu 17 Feb 2011 - 21:32

by MP5 on Thu 17 Feb 2011 - 21:48

Professor Voodoo wrote:Yet more indignities are heaped upon Fernando's 928...

Rachel: Twice the cargo area. Do you think he'll like it?

Kara: Where's Francesca going to sit?

Rachel: Like I said...there's plenty of cargo area for her!

Porsche 928 Ute.... The Australians are intrigued, I imagine.

by Professor Voodoo on Thu 17 Feb 2011 - 21:57

Later, Allison & Rachel take the Delta for a shake-down run.

Once again Rachel suggests a creative place for Francesca to sit...

by Professor Voodoo on Fri 18 Mar 2011 - 20:19

Jean: And that ladies, is why we do not answer our cell phones while traveling in convoy!

by **Kiskaloo** on Fri 18 Mar 2011 - 20:23

Kara: "I was actually texting, sir."

Jean: Aiya!

by Professor Voodoo on Fri 18 Mar 2011 - 21:05

Kiskaloo wrote:Kara: "I was actually texting, sir."

Jean:

Marisa: (watching Jean yelling at Kara in the middle of the street) Wow, all of a sudden I'm kinda glad you won't let me get a cell phone.

Elio: And I'm extremely glad you'll never be old enough to drive.

by Schaschanist on Sat 19 Mar 2011 - 0:08

Emilie: *texting a short message to Emiliano* "My mates here are some kind of useless. They really can break EVERYTHING.
Want to see you as soon as possible.
Bye, your Emilie."

Etienne: *shaking head* "Why did they still give them that expensive stuff? They really DO know what will happen again and again...."

by Alfisti on Sat 19 Mar 2011 - 0:35

schaschanist wrote:Emilie: *texting a short message to Emiliano* "My mates here are some kind of useless. They really can break EVERYTHING.
Want to see you as soon as possible.
Bye, your Emilie."

Etienne: *shaking head* "Why did they still give them that expensive stuff? They really DO know what will happen again and again...."

Monty: This is why I like to keep at least one international border between me and them... as permenatly as physically possible.

by Schaschanist on Sat 19 Mar 2011 - 1:02

Alfisti wrote:
schaschanist wrote:Emilie: *texting a short message to Emiliano* "My mates here are some kind of useless. They really can break EVERYTHING.
Want to see you as soon as possible.
Bye, your Emilie."

Etienne: *shaking head* "Why did they still give them that expensive stuff? They really DO know what will happen again and again...."
Monty: This is why I like to keep at least one international border between me and them... as permenatly as physically possible.

Emilie: *to Monty* "This also is the reason why i like alot more to hang around with my 1st gen sisters than with most of the 2nd gens. They do not break everything they get into their hands and they are not that complicated."

by ChaosKin640 on Sat 19 Mar 2011 - 2:02

Lucy: You obviously weren't around when Rico, Henrietta and Marisa broke Claes' garden and an agency van trying to learn how to drive. And for the record, the only thing I've ever broken was my own desk. And I have spares of those down at Q-branch waiting for me.

by **ElfenMagix** on Tue 22 Mar 2011 - 13:43

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Kiskaloo wrote:Kara: "I was actually texting, sir."

Jean:

Marisa: (watching Jean yelling at Kara in the middle of the street) Wow, all of a sudden I'm kinda glad you won't let me get a cell phone.

Elio: And I'm extremely glad you'll never be old enough to drive.

A Year Later...

Marisa: You sure this is going to work?

Rachel: You got all the fake papers saying you're an adult with a Pituitary Gland Deficency Problem?

Marisa: Lets see... fake birth certificate, fake medical charts, fake school records, fake medical notes... yeah... I got them all.

Rachel: Studied the Driver's Manual like I told you?

Marisa Yeah! Very Happy

Rachel: Then lets go in...

*3 hours later at Italy's DMV Office in Rome, like everywhere else on the planet, 2.5 hour lines, 15 minute test...*

Marisa: I Got It! I Got It! I Passed The Test!!!

Rachel: Great... now you can ask Elio for driving lessons now that you got your learner's permit.

*at the cafeteria, at another canned ravioli dinner...*

Marisa: Elio... You know I dont ask for much but can you teach me how to drive? Please...

Elio: You're too young to drive and you dont even have a permit.

Marisa (showing off her newly acquired permit) : Oh Yes I Do!

*THUD!*

Marisa (fanning air at her handler with the food try) : Elio? Can you wake up please? Elio...?

by **ElfenMagix** on Tue 22 Mar 2011 - 14:01

Rachel: You Did What With my Car?!!

Francesca: All I did was tell Kara and Allison to raise the suspension just a bit...

by Hondo Sackett on Tue 22 Mar 2011 - 16:44

LOL, that's funny. Kinda like the Rolls I saw online before.

by Professor Voodoo on Thu 24 Mar 2011 - 9:24

It's finally spring-time in Italy, and the cyborgs turn their attention from cozy indoor tea parties to picnics outside on the lawns...

Kara: Careful with that saw Mari! Those are my fingers there!

Marisa: Oh relax...you've got ten of them.

Rachel: And if she hacks any off you can just walk over to the hospital and get new ones.

Also...

...just because his creator has been away from the forum for a couple of weeks doesn't mean Jay has stopped trying to cook hot-dogs in the dorm.

by Social Welfare Nation on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 12:32

That reminds me ...

Doesn't Rico really enjoy washing clothes? And eating?

Could be a bad combination.

by Social Welfare Nation on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 12:35

There was a whole series of these commercials around 2008? I remember some where they were cooking Kraft Dinner in car radiators, or co-ed saunas at a college ... can't find those ones on YouTube. Anyone else remember them?

by Professor Voodoo on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 13:12

Social Welfare Nation wrote:That reminds me ...

Doesn't Rico really enjoy washing clothes? And eating?
Could be a bad combination.

Oh god do not let the cyborgs see this commercial.

Jean: Don't worry, this is one of the many reasons why we ban televisions from the Cyborg Warehouse Facility.

Ferro: But Jean...they do see television while staying at hotels during missions.

Jean: Oh shit...check the laundry room.

Meanwhile, at the laundry room...

Triela: Well that was a stupid idea.

Rico: It was worth a try.

by **Kiskaloo** on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 13:47

Kara: "You deserve it for making box macaroni & cheese!"

by MP5 on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 14:41

Ripe for a potential Top Gear: Italy film, the cyborgs should next progress from cooking mac n' cheese in the washer to cooking using the engine of theirs or their handlers' vehicles:

Tinfoil seems to be the key ingredient in successful car cooking, so...

Allison: Hmm... if I keep the speed at 80 miles per hour from Rome to Salerno, the rack of ribs I placed on the exhaust manifold should be positively succulent...

by Professor Voodoo on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 15:36

MP5 wrote:Ripe for a potential Top Gear: Italy film, the cyborgs should next progress from cooking mac n' cheese in the washer to cooking using the engine of theirs or their handlers' vehicles:

Allison: Hmm... if I keep the speed at 80 miles per hour from Rome to Salerno, the rack of ribs I placed on the exhaust manifold should be positively succulent...

My Father actually tried this in the early-mid 70's. He attempted to bake a foil-wrapped potato by nestling it in the bend of a dirt bike exhaust pipe.

The verdict? It cooked properly but tasted more like two-stroke oil than a potato.

by MP5 on Fri 25 Mar 2011 - 15:51

Professor Voodoo wrote:
MP5 wrote:Ripe for a potential Top Gear: Italy film, the cyborgs should next progress from cooking mac n' cheese in the washer to cooking using the engine of theirs or their handlers' vehicles:

Allison: Hmm... if I keep the speed at 80 miles per hour from Rome to Salerno, the rack of ribs I placed on the exhaust manifold should be positively succulent...
My Father actually tried this in the early-mid 70's. He attempted to bake a foil-wrapped potato by nestling it in the bend of a dirt bike exhaust pipe.

The verdict? It cooked properly but tasted more like two-stroke oil than a potato.

Yeah.. generally, these guys insist that your engine should not be having any leaks of any sort and that you seal up the food properly.

by Social Welfare Nation on Tue 29 Mar 2011 - 23:03

Pinocchio would be horrified if he knew there was not only cars called Mercedes and Giulietta, but ones named after his best friend Aurora too:

Spoiler:: 1957 Aurora Safety Car

Actually, I think anyone would be horrified this thing even exists.

by **Kiskaloo** on Tue 29 Mar 2011 - 23:19

Spoiler:: And let us not forget the Oldsmobile Aurora:

by Social Welfare Nation on Tue 29 Mar 2011 - 23:28

Mmmmm ... almost as bad!

Incoming!

(realizes that might be Kiskaloo's own car)

by **Kiskaloo** on Wed 30 Mar 2011 - 0:03

Social Welfare Nation wrote:Mmmmm ... almost as bad!

(realizes that might be Kiskaloo's own car)

I'm old, but not old enough for an Oldfolksmobile. Wink

by Awinnell on Wed 30 Mar 2011 - 3:35

Kiskaloo wrote:
Social Welfare Nation wrote:Mmmmm ... almost as bad!

(realizes that might be Kiskaloo's own car)

I'm old, but not old enough for an Oldfolksmobile.

is this yours then ?

by ChaosKin640 on Wed 30 Mar 2011 - 21:08

I'm old, but not old enough for an Oldfolksmobile.

Jacob: (the proud owner of a 72' Oldsmobile Cutlass S) You want to run that one by me again?

by Professor Voodoo on Mon 4 Apr 2011 - 14:09

Elio: (menacing tone) I don't suppose you have any idea as to how not one but two Bobcats would up at the bottom of the Agency duck pond?

Marisa: (nervously) Umm, I don't know...the possibilities are endless.

Elio: Perhaps; but the list of suspects is very short.

by Officer_Charon on Mon 4 Apr 2011 - 14:31

Professor Voodoo wrote:

Elio: Perhaps; but the list of suspects is very short.

*snrk*

by Alfisti on Tue 5 Apr 2011 - 0:38

Professor Voodoo wrote:

So that's where our excavators went...

Ok, ours tend to be a little larger.

On the marine front though, got a laugh out of a procurement line item on one of our projects today: Beatles (x2)

Monty: So which Beatles are we getting?

Jethro: There's only two left aren't there?

by **ElfenMagix** on Tue 5 Apr 2011 - 13:39

Alfisti wrote:
Professor Voodoo wrote:
So that's where our excavators went...

Ok, ours tend to be a little larger.

On the marine front though, got a laugh out of a procurement line item on one of our projects today: Beatles (x2)

Monty: So which Beatles are we getting?

Jethro: There's only two left aren't there?

Beetles dont drown Evil

by Alfisti on Tue 5 Apr 2011 - 13:50

ElfenMagix wrote:Beetles dont drown

Monty: you should possibly not let Marisa see that.

by Officer_Charon on Tue 5 Apr 2011 - 15:04

On assignment in Catania

John: Uhm, Agent Alboreto? You... MIGHT want to come take a look at the boat docks...

by **Kiskaloo** on Wed 6 Apr 2011 - 23:33

The Prime Minister ordered an upgrade for his Rolls-Royce Phantom:

Spoiler:: Courtesy of The Onion

by Professor Voodoo on Fri 8 Apr 2011 - 0:55

Odon wrote:When you absolutely, positively, have to get every handler in the Agency pissed out of their minds...

Not necessarily a "bad" idea...a little goofy perhaps.

Here's something I saw at the liquor store the other day.

Allison: So how was it?

Voodoo: I bought a 6-pack & some scotch instead.

Allison: You're no fun.

by **Kiskaloo** on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 0:26

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13078895

by Professor Voodoo on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 0:45

Kiskaloo wrote:http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13078895

Kara: He did the world a favour...the Gumpert Apollo is butt-ugly to begin with.

Michele:

Elio: Mari, have I mentioned how relieved I am that you'll never be old enough to drive?

Marisa: Numerous times.

by Alfisti on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 17:58

And cue the music:

No license required apparently... kinda want. Not sure if it'd be a good idea to and them over to the cyborgs though...

via Uncrate

by **boomer_gonz** on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 21:05

Alfisti wrote:And cue the music:

No license required apparently... kinda want. Not sure if it'd be a good idea to and them over to the cyborgs though...

via Uncrate

Sooooo...

the girl's are going to compete in next year's Red Bull Air Races? Very Happy

by Officer_Charon on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 22:01

Oh Jesus... Marisa with a Red Bull sponsor... o_O

by Alfisti on Fri 15 Apr 2011 - 22:45

Officer_Charon wrote:Oh Jesus... Marisa with a Red Bull sponsor... o_O

I'm fairly certain there's a UN mandate against that.

by Professor Voodoo on Sat 16 Apr 2011 - 11:38

boomer_gonz wrote:the girl's are going to compete in next year's Red Bull Air Races?

Officer_Charon wrote:Oh Jesus... Marisa with a Red Bull sponsor... o_O

I dare say glider pilot Rachel might be a better pick for that role, she might be ready to start training on single engine planes...or maybe not.

Rachel: Sorry, I thought I had enough room to get her down safely.

Instructor: In the middle of Rome?

MP5 also has an aeronautically inclined fratello amongst his 342 OC teams (to date) but I think it's the handler who does the flying.

by **ElfenMagix** on Sat 16 Apr 2011 - 16:52

Professor Voodoo wrote:
boomer_gonz wrote:the girl's are going to compete in next year's Red Bull Air Races?
Officer_Charon wrote:Oh Jesus... Marisa with a Red Bull sponsor... o_O
I dare say glider pilot Rachel might be a better pick for that role, she might be ready to start training on single engine planes...or maybe not.

Rachel: Sorry, I thought I had enough room to get her down safely.

Instructor: In the middle of Rome?

MP5 also has an aeronautically inclined fratello amongst his 342 OC teams (to date) but I think it's the handler who does the flying.

Fernando also flies but when the agency told him he had steal a drug runner's shipment plane, he told them that he'd rather drop freedom flyers over Cuba!

Upon his return...
Florida Sector Agency Supervisor Suarez: What happened to your plants? I saw you get on that plane wearing them...

Fernando: You know how much a pair of Levis goes for in Cuba?

Florida Sector Agency Supervisor Suarez: What does that have to do with anything?

Fernando: You know how much aircraft grade kerosene goes for in Cuba? Do the Math You Jerk! And The Next one Way Mission You Send Me On, You'll Be In The Passenger Seat!

by Alfisti on Sat 16 Apr 2011 - 17:31

ElfenMagix wrote:Fernando: You know how much a pair of Levis goes for in Cuba?

Florida Sector Agency Supervisor Suarez: What does that have to do with anything?

Fernando: You know how much aircraft grade kerosene goes for in Cuba? Do the Math You Jerk! And The Next one Way Mission You Send Me On, You'll Be In The Passenger Seat!

by **Kiskaloo** on Mon 18 Apr 2011 - 0:31

Watching the new season of Fifth Gear and some bloke put a 27L RR Merlin V12 in a Rover SD1.

Allison: On Cloud 9

by Officer_Charon on Mon 18 Apr 2011 - 0:45

John:

by **Kiskaloo** on Sun 22 May 2011 - 14:49

[Michele and Claes are in the former's room, Claes on the bed, reading, and Michele rummaging in his closet.]

Claes: "What are you looking for?"

Michele: "My katana. I could have sworn I brought it with me from Milan."

[In the far parking lot.]

Allison: "Just a bit closer, Kara! You almost had it that last pass!"

by Professor Voodoo on Sun 22 May 2011 - 18:15

Kiskaloo wrote:
Allison: "Just a bit closer, Kara! You almost had it that last pass!"

Amadeo watches from a nearby window. While fooling around with Britney seems safe he silently resolves never to put the moves on Kara or Allison.