Pactio

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Re: Pactio

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 30 Nov 2011 - 8:10

THIRTY-FIVE[/font]
"Dante's forces put up a determined resistance and there were many casualties," Michele replied. "A number of cyborgs were injured, Triela gravely so."
Is Michele still in the dark about the fatalities, or is he aware but unwilling to tell Claes the whole truth yet?
Pulling out a pad of paper, he wrote down a phone number, which he handed to Claes along with ten €500 notes.
Interesting contingency...

THIRTY-SIX
"She must be very beautiful, then," Coraline stated.

"She was," Kara said.
A jab from Kara to put her "rival" off balance? She does seem rather passive-aggressive/catty around Michele's female acquaintances.
"But what we found surprising is that the vessel wasn't importing cocaine to the Ukraine, but exporting it," Caroline noted.

...It doesn't make any sense for them to export it from the Ukraine, especially back to Italy,
This does seem like a weird tangle...I'll be interested to see where you take this plot line.
When the Cold War ended, a number of Soviet aircrews decided to…appropriate…their cargo aircraft in lieu of back wages and flew them off to isolated airfields in the 'Stans or the Eastern Anatolia Region of Turkey
Simpatico with Alfisti's story?
"Do you recall the Bujanovac Incident?" Michele asked.

"Yes, it was during the break-up of Serbia and Montenegro. A Russian fighter-bomber carrying a tactical nuclear device crashed on the outskirts of the town. The bomb detonated, killing thousands, and radioactive fallout contaminated much of the Preševo Valley...two ex-Soviet 'suitcase nukes' were smuggled into the area and one of them was detonated
This is a clever way of adding a "patch" to canon.

Looking forward to the next installment!

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 30 Nov 2011 - 10:04

@Professor Voodoo wrote:
THIRTY-FIVE
"Dante's forces put up a determined resistance and there were many casualties," Michele replied. "A number of cyborgs were injured, Triela gravely so."

Is Michele still in the dark about the fatalities, or is he aware but unwilling to tell Claes the whole truth yet?


A combination of both, in that I'm still in the dark about the fatalities. Smile

@Professor Voodoo wrote:
THIRTY-SIX
"She must be very beautiful, then," Coraline stated.

"She was," Kara said.

A jab from Kara to put her "rival" off balance? She does seem rather passive-aggressive/catty around Michele's female acquaintances.

Yes. Kara is still early in her relationship with Michele (three months) and she's unsure where she stands...

...and she may have a mechanical body, but she is still an adolescent girl. Wink


@Professor Voodoo wrote:
When the Cold War ended, a number of Soviet aircrews decided to…appropriate…their cargo aircraft in lieu of back wages and flew them off to isolated airfields in the 'Stans or the Eastern Anatolia Region of Turkey

Simpatico with Alfisti's story?

Yes. And hopefully not the only reference to it.

@Professor Voodoo wrote:
"Do you recall the Bujanovac Incident?" Michele asked.

"Yes, it was during the break-up of Serbia and Montenegro. A Russian fighter-bomber carrying a tactical nuclear device crashed on the outskirts of the town. The bomb detonated, killing thousands, and radioactive fallout contaminated much of the Preševo Valley...two ex-Soviet 'suitcase nukes' were smuggled into the area and one of them was detonated

This is a clever way of adding a "patch" to canon.

It's clear that the Bosnian Conflict went nuclear at some point, though it appears to have happened after the main breakup of Yugoslavia as Dante refers to an event six years later. So I whipped out my Atlas and went to work. Smile

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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Tue 13 Dec 2011 - 7:40

Wow, I can see how you got bogged down in the research...
@Kiskaloo wrote:"You and Jethro Blacker must be a riot at the bar."
Proably best Monty doesn't find out her handler's name got mentioned in front of the FSB, or Clayland may find himself off her Christmas Card list...

...assuming he was ever on her Christmas Card list...

...assuming Monty actually has a Christmas Card list, which is probably doubtful.


Enjoyed it mate, more thoughts to come.

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Re: Pactio

Post by tremec6speed on Wed 14 Dec 2011 - 23:47

Great story Kiskaloo, eager to see what happens next with Dante's nuclear threat. Smile

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Re: Pactio

Post by Professor Voodoo on Tue 20 Dec 2011 - 11:37

THIRTY-SEVEN
He did have to admit that the Generation Two's ability to pass for being a young adult made such arrangements easier and he had at times wondered how the Croces handled it with their pre-teen girls or Hilshire with Triela when they operated remotely.
Hillshire: Eh...you get a room with two beds? I'm pretty sure the kinds of hotels you stay in can provide that.
"Stepping up your game today, I see," Laine noted, taking in Kara's black long-sleeved sweater dress over a white lace camisole and knee-high dress boots in black leather. "Love the hat," she added.
Kara offered a wane smile as she pulled the white pillbox fur hat off her head. "You're looking good yourself," she added.
Jean: I have at times wondered how those handlers with teenaged cyborgs handle it...

Another fine chapter. Looking forward to the trip into Russia...

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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Sun 1 Jan 2012 - 20:53

Ok, so before the working year starts again in earnest: extended thoughts:

Chapter37
"Stepping up your game today, I see," Laine noted, taking in Kara's
black long-sleeved sweater dress over a white lace camisole and
knee-high dress boots in black leather.
Feeling the need to address a threat are we Kara?

"She's a bloody Q-car!" Laine exclaimed.
Amusing mostly in that I think the word derivation actually originally went the other way. Razz Though admittedly Khazbiika appears to be unarmed.


Chapter38
Nadia smiled politely, though Kara noted her sizing up Coraline. Under
the Soviet structure, Nadia would have served in the KGB's Second Chief
Directorate, tasked with counterintelligence operations. A foreign
intelligence operative like Coraline would have been a prime subject for
such monitoring.
And Michele wouldn't be? Ah well, I guess old habits die hard.

"We are the ones who watch the watchers…"
Ominous.

"...His followers are also armed with modern Russian assault and heavy
rifles," Michele reported. "We're not sure who is backing him, but they
seem to have a direct pipeline to your munitions stockpiles."
Monty: I have this love/hate relationship with the former Soviet Union, it makes life so easy and at the same time so hard.


Chapter39
"I'd like to offer an idea," Kara stated.
Bollocks Kara, you just wanted to go shopping.

Glacier Blue Bentley Continental GTC Speed convertible
Do I even want to know where that came from?

Kara found the Pop Art décor to be absolutely vulgar, but she'd heard
from her handler that Moscow was filled with the nouveau riche and their
tastes were, in his opinion, rather lacking.
Jethro: Don't bother trying to understand the vagaries of the Pop Art crowd... mostly because I can't be bothered trying to explain them.

To be honest, after reading that I went and googled Pacha Moscow and... well overall I actually quite like it. Some things aren't working (the integration of the "PACHA" typeface and logo could have been handled better for examble), but that could also be put down to "all clients are idiots". I couldn't live in it mind, but for a club it works alright. Horses for courses and all that.


such an attitude did not register with Kara, who considered her handler to be as infallible as the Bishop of Rome.
Monty: That's because her handler isn't a small child.

working their way through the crowd like two American gridiron football linebackers through a defensive line.
Monty: *Reading the mission report at her/Jethro's desk* One of these days Michele, you're going to need to teach your cyborg about the fine art of subtlety.


Good set of chapters mate, looking forward to the next.

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Mon 2 Jan 2012 - 13:55

@Alfisti wrote:Feeling the need to address a threat are we Kara?

I'm trying to play her as a bit less secure about her place.

@Alfisti wrote:
"She's a bloody Q-car!" Laine exclaimed.

Amusing mostly in that I think the word derivation actually originally went the other way. Razz Though admittedly Khazbiika appears to be unarmed.

I thought Q-Ship at first, but those are traditionally defined as armed merchantmen. A Q-Car, on the other hand, is a "plain" car with a powerful engine, so it better fit.


@Alfisti wrote:
"I'd like to offer an idea," Kara stated.
Bollocks Kara, you just wanted to go shopping.

Shh!

@Alfisti wrote:
Glacier Blue Bentley Continental GTC Speed convertible
Do I even want to know where that came from?

Just liked the color.

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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Tue 3 Jan 2012 - 4:17

@Kiskaloo wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:
Glacier Blue Bentley Continental GTC Speed convertible
Do I even want to know where that came from?

Just liked the color.
I was more wondering just about the car in general...

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Tue 3 Jan 2012 - 9:35

@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:
Glacier Blue Bentley Continental GTC Speed convertible
Do I even want to know where that came from?
Just liked the color.

I was more wondering just about the car in general...

Kara: "Yeah, really! I mean if you're going to drive a Bentley, do it right and drive an old school Bentley. I suggested a Bentley Azure T, but nnnnoooo.... This is the "new Russia" and they're evidently all footballers so that means they all drive the tarted-up Volkswagen Phaeton-derived models—"

Claes: "The man asked a simple question. You don't need to respond with a Top Gear Italy commentary."

Kara: "Oh. Well we figured a convertible was the easiest way to extricate Anton and since the Bentley has a big back seat and it's something the rich and fashionable in Russia drive, it would fit in."

Claes: "Ok. But why the Speed version?"

Kara: "It's faster!"

Claes: "You were driving it in a city that even with eight lanes has more gridlock than Los Angeles."

Kara: "But it's faster!"

Claes: ...ugh.

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 4 Jan 2012 - 13:22

Kara: "Too bad we we were not in Beijing. A Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe would have worked nicely."

Claes: "You just read the part where rich parents by their kids Rollers."

Kara: sweat

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Re: Pactio

Post by rusty-spring on Sat 21 Jan 2012 - 13:37

Loved the new chapter Kisk.

The only problem is that my brain still skips a moment each time I see that the actual chapter number doesn't match FF.net's. Razz

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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Wed 15 Feb 2012 - 7:43

So... more thoughts, starting with:

Chapter40
"You were as brilliant as the background," Michele replied. He knew
Kara's dancing was at times as much therapeutic as it was exhibitionist
so when she'd ask him to take her to the park to film a dance cover,
he'd borrowed a camcorder and they'd been dropped off..
Monty: ...and this is why I try not to be seen with you. What's wrong with just having a drink like a normal person?

...Monty being a grouch aside, it is a very "Kara" way to blow off steam; something silly and light to counter the somewhat darker world in which the SWA as a whole resides.

all the Prime Minister would tell Michele is that there had been
"significant casualties on both sides" and exhorted him to keep the
focus on ensuring no other weapons of mass destruction would be – or had
been - smuggled into the country.
Must have been a hard decision for the PM to take, knowing how Michele was involved at the Agency. I presume (because I can't remember if we've discussed it or not) that part of the reason Kara and Michele were re-tasked was to keep them away from what was going down at the compound and New Trino.

ZBV3 155mm nuclear artillery shell
Ok, I'm no expert, but I can't help but think that a nuclear artillery shell sounds like a really bad idea...

As the Blacker's operated remotely so much of the time, they had
developed a system to trade information back and forth with Rome via an
Internet dating site.
One of many routes... part of me can't help but think that one may have been Jethro's idea... he probably thinks it's funny.

"Do we go back to Rome?" Kara asked."No. The trail leads to Vlorë, Albania. That's our next destination," Michele decided.
Nice subtle way of saying: no, we do our jobs for now, but stay sharp.


And now it's closing in on my bed time, the rest will have to wait for some later date.

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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Thu 16 Feb 2012 - 7:24

And onwards...

"wooly pully" ribbed military sweaters
I still have a couple of those sweaters... they're awesome.

"Please don't let there be a frig in the back. Please don't let there be a frig in the back,"
At the risk of sounding stupid, I have no idea what Laine's talking about here.

"We've been staking out this place for two days," Petrushka noted as she hopped down.
Seems a bit dangerous... though I guess by the same token the Ricci fratello seems a bit in the dark about what's going on as well.

if out existence ever got out into the public it would be a huge embarrassment.
I see Sandro's been learining the British art of understatement... I think using brainwashed child soliders is the sort of thing which gets you thrown out of the more respectable international communities.

I only have a couple of weeks of conditioning medication stockpiled.
Probably the major concern for any fratello on the run... I wonder what the conditioning drug's shelf life is... Part of me can't help but think it's probably resonably, either to safeguard against someone planning to run away and stockpiling the stuff, or simply through it being still experimental... cue another headache for J+M.

"Kara, Renato and I go back decades. Even if there is a move against the
Agency, he's not going to do anything to me. And I need to know you'll
be safe."
Michele had better hope his friend is as friendly as he thinks he is, running a country can change your perspective somewhat.

Looking forward to the next mate.

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 16 Feb 2012 - 9:03

@Alfisti wrote:And onwards...
"Please don't let there be a frig in the back. Please don't let there be a frig in the back,"

At the risk of sounding stupid, I have no idea what Laine's talking about here.

1:40 in...


@Alfisti wrote:
"We've been staking out this place for two days," Petrushka noted as she hopped down.

Seems a bit dangerous... though I guess by the same token the Ricci fratello seems a bit in the dark about what's going on as well.

Considering how well those two can change their appearance, I expect if anyone can hide in plain site...

@Alfisti wrote:
I only have a couple of weeks of conditioning medication stockpiled.

Probably the major concern for any fratello on the run...

Indeed. Still trying to work that out...

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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Fri 17 Feb 2012 - 23:24

@Kiskaloo wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:And onwards...
"Please don't let there be a frig in the back. Please don't let there be a frig in the back,"

At the risk of sounding stupid, I have no idea what Laine's talking about here.

1:40 in...
Ah right... in which case I assume "frig" is either a typo or some weird American way of spelling "fridge". Razz

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 18 Feb 2012 - 2:02

@Alfisti wrote:Ah right... in which case I assume "frig" is either a typo or some weird American way of spelling "fridge". Razz

That would be a typo. One of the many I will no doubt find and fix as I re-read the story to do a final, clean edit to create a new master PDF and ff.net version now that I am done. sweat


Last edited by Kiskaloo on Fri 24 Feb 2012 - 17:15; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Pactio

Post by crazyidiot78 on Sat 18 Feb 2012 - 5:25

Nice job kisk a fitting end!
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Re: Pactio

Post by Alfisti on Sat 18 Feb 2012 - 9:04

A fitting ending mate.

@Kiskaloo wrote:"Are you two the source of this invitation?" Clayland Stanaway asked,
holding up a blue envelope. Monty merely waved the one she and Jethro
had received in response, too annoyed to speak.

The four tried – and mostly failed – to make small talk
Yeah, probably about right... I can't see Monty as having had a particularly high opinion of Laine, and I don't think the two fratelli ever had much to do with each other anyway.

"Hey! I think it makes me look rather hip," Jethro protected.
"I wear a fez now, fezes are cool."

"Isn't it awesome! They were auctioning them on eBay!" Marisa Alboreto replied
Oh dear... cyborgs + access to space exploration equipment... what could possibly go wrong?

After delivering Arber Jashari into the hands of the Guardia di Finanza, the Alboreto and Blacker fratelli had promptly came about and sped out of the harbor for Greece
I think you may have meant just the Alboreto fratello there?

"Do you two ever plan to come in from the cold?" Michele asked the Blackers.
Something tells me J+M will never "come in from the cold". Jethro would be immediately and excrutiatingly bored, and somehow I don't think Monty would adapt very well to "domestic bliss" either. Razz

Jethro squeezed his cyborg's knee, stopping her planned retort.
Good non-verbals for the pair here. I also note that, pretty much right though this passage J+M are the only pair still reffered to as cyborg and handler. It's a neat way of quietly affirming they're still "on the job", so to speak.

When they captured him in his house in the Ligurian Alps, the Pagani fratelli had been shocked at the advanced medical equipment he had secured around him.
I take it then that, after the initial storm had blown over Michele and Kara went back to work for the Italian Government for a bit?

While he'd enjoyed a large boost in the polls at first, Prime Minister Pisano was currently fighting for his political life.
Ah it is a short and fickle thing the general populace's political memory... particularly when its hip pocket is involved.

Jethro and Monty bid their farewells for the evening and headed to the Baccarat Bar...
Part of me wouldn't be expecting to see them in the morning.

Nicely done mate... now of course you can concentrate on just one story

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 18 Feb 2012 - 11:17

@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:
After delivering Arber Jashari into the hands of the Guardia di Finanza, the Alboreto and Blacker fratelli had promptly came about and sped out of the harbor for Greece

I think you may have meant just the Alboreto fratello there?

That should have been the Alboreto and Stanaway fratelli. sweat Fixed.

@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:
When they captured him in his house in the Ligurian Alps, the Pagani fratelli had been shocked at the advanced medical equipment he had secured around him.
I take it then that, after the initial storm had blown over Michele and Kara went back to work for the Italian Government for a bit?

Yes.

@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:
Jethro and Monty bid their farewells for the evening and headed to the Baccarat Bar...
Part of me wouldn't be expecting to see them in the morning.

All of me would be expecting that. Smile

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Re: Pactio

Post by Kiskaloo on Fri 24 Feb 2012 - 17:17

So I finished the edit. No real changes outside of deleting the prologue, so no need to read it again. Smile

At almost 89,000 words, it is the longest GSG fic I have written by almost 100%.

ff.net Version
PDF Version (Recommended)

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