Spit Take Gag

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Spit Take Gag

Post by Odon on Wed 26 Jan 2011 - 1:02

I was watching "Leon: The Professional" recently (the Luc Besson film about an underage girl being raised/trained by a professional killer). There's a running gag in the film where Mathilda keeps making outrageously suggestive comments to make Leon spew his drink all over himself. I think Yu should include the spit take gag in GSG as a homage, what do you think?


Hilshire: "I'm putting you in the hands of Dr. Donato, Triela. He's going to replace your damaged implants. But don't worry, I'll be here the whole time."

(Hilshire takes a swig of coffee to fortify himself for the long vigil ahead)

Triela: "Speaking of implants, Doctor...don't you think it's time you gave me breasts?"

(Hilshire spews coffee all over himself and starts to cough madly. Triela gets him a glass of water.)

Triela (waiting till Hilshire has taken a swig): "They don't have to be big ones."

(Hilshire spurts water over his shirt. Donato and his colleagues hide their grins behind raised cups of coffee)

Triela: "Just make them the size of Mr Hilshire's hands."

(Doctors and nurses spew coffee over themselves)

****

Henrietta: "What I'd like is for Jose to take better care of me than he already does. Do you think I'm being selfish, Dr Bianchi?"

Bianchi: "There's nothing wrong about feeling this way."

Henrietta: "That's what the older girls say. They say I should jump Jose like a jackrabbit."

(Sound of liquid being expelled by force in next room)

Henrietta: "What does that mean, Dr Bianchi?"

Bianchi (eyeing one-way mirror): "It means I'm going to bill your friends the cost of cleaning that room. For the third time."

****

(Triela waits till Beatrice is eating her cereal)

Triela: "Does your handler have verbal diarrhoea or something?"

(Beatrice finishes her cereal without reacting)

Beatrice: "I couldn't say."

Triela: "You're no fun..."

****

Triela: "So, have you kissed your handler?"

(Petrushka spews Coke all over herself)

Sandro: "Yes she has. What about you, Triela?"

(Triela spews Coke all over herself)

****

Mimi: "Have you two had sex yet?"

(Triela and Hilshire spew wine all over themselves)

****

Jean: "I want the fratello to terminate Dante's organisation with extreme prejudice! You are to crush them utterly! Do you understand?"

Triela: "Jawohl, Mein Fuhrer!"

(Whole of Section One spews coffee over themselves)

Triela: "What? Mr Hilshire told me to practise my German..."

****

And for the final episode...

(Dante's phone rings)

Dante: "Who is this? What do you want?"

Voice: "This is for Sophia, you bastard."

(Dante spews blood all over himself)


Voice: "Excellent shooting, Rico."

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Re: Spit Take Gag

Post by Professor Voodoo on Wed 26 Jan 2011 - 8:00

There is great potential for lunacy here...

Dr. Ziliani: Today's test will be fairly long, Claes, so make sure you're properly hydrated before we begin.

Dr. Bergonzi: We'll be bombarding you with sound waves to determine if your any of cyborg components are vulnerable to this kind of acoustic attack.

Claes: (sipping her sport drink) Is there anything I need to do?

Ziliani: Just inform us if you feel anything strange.

Bergonzi: (embarassed tone) Umm, we'll also need to monitor your body temperature throughout the experiment.

The Doctor produces a probe on a cord; Claes holds her mouth open for the thermometer.

Bergonzi: Eh...sorry Claes (lubing up the probe with K-Y jelly), other end.

Claes:

Ziliani: (wiping lemon-lime Gatorade off his face) She took that better than I expected.

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