MY ORIGIONAL NOVEL

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MY ORIGIONAL NOVEL

Post by sdp2501 on Mon 9 May 2011 - 7:10

HISTORY OF THE WORLD 2012-PRESENT DAY.

JANUARY 2012- UN COLAPSES
MARCH 2012- K53X4 METEOR DISCOVERED ORIGIN UNKNOWN-INPACT IMINANT
DECEMBER 2012- K53X4 DISTROYS SOUTH AMERICA
DEATH- 91827

2013- CYBERNETICS PROJECT LAUCHED TOTAL COST £55,000,000
DECEMBER 2013- FIRST CYBORG DIES OF BIOMECH CELL REJECTION

2014- FIRST SERVIVEING CYBORG. AGE 7

2019 PRESIDENT OF THE USA DIES IN A PLAIN CRASH.

2020 FIRST BIO WEAPON TESTED ON IN A NEW YORK HOSPITAL. 100 PEOPLE KILLED BY THE ZOMBIES.
WITHIN THREE DAYS PROJECT 666X13 SPREADS ACROSS THREE STREETS, BLOCKED OFF TO PUBLIC USE.

2021-28- NEW YORK IS OVER RUN BY ZOMBIES.

2023-2035- WW3 BREAKS OUT.
GERMANY IS DISTROYED BY JAPANESE REBELION NUKE.
JAPAN JOINS ENGLAND, AMERICA, FRANCE, ITALY AND PORTUGAL.

2029- 666X13 VIRUS SPREADS ACROSS AMERICA.

2032-PORTUGAL IS DISTROYED BY MISSILE BARAGE

2034- FIRST PLASMA PISTOL DEVELOPED

2036- PLASMA PISTOL IS USED BY MILITARY ACROSS THE GLOBE.
PLANS FOR HPW’S (HEAVY PLASMA WEAPONS) RELEASED

2042- EARTHQUAKE DISTROYES WEST COSTE OF ITALY

2044- SOUTHERN EUROPE IS FLOODED AS A MISILE BARAGE IS MIS GUIDED 2300 MILES TO FAR SOUTH

JUNE 2046-2057- SKY CITY IS BUILT

JULY 2046- PLASMA CANNON AND S2E (SKY 2 EARTH) CANNON DEVELOPED AND USED TO DISTROY AUSTRALIA

2047- PLASMA CORE MINITURISED AND PLACED WITHIN BULLETS

2050- BIOMECH CELL RELEASED FOR SCIENTIFIC USE OUTSIDE OF HOSPITAL BUILDINGS.

2055-2067- WW4

2057- NEW NEW YORK BUILT IN THE STYLE OF SKY CITY.
2060- 666X13.05 PROJECT IS LAUNCHED

2064- NASA IS SHUT DOWN AFTER BEING OVER TAKEN BY A EXTREAMIST GROUP WITH ACCESS TO THE 666X13.05 VIRUS. THE VIRUS IS THEN LAUNCHED INTO SPACE, SCATTERING IT ACROSS THE GLOBE. THE BASE IS THEN DISTROYED.

2065- FIRST NON AMERICAN CASE OF 666X13 (RENAMED DRONE) IS DISCOVERED IN DOVON, ENGLAND. THE CREATURE IS TAKEN TO A HIGH SECURITY PRISON IN MANCHESTER

2072- LAST SURVIVER OF LONDON 7/7 DIES AT THE AGE OF 105

2074- THE MANCHESTER INSIDENT: PROJEDT 15 ESCAPES AFTER 9 YEARS OF CAPTIVITY IN THE NOW ABANDONED MANCHESTER PRISON. ONLY 406 SURVIVE…

Prologue

We arrived late on January 26th 2075. It was that or stay in England and get munched by those… things… zombies. We had been saving money for the last seven years to move to Japan anyway, it wasn’t until The Manchester Incident that we really pulled our finger out.
Of all people to survive it was me… I should be dead… but no… it was Haley who died, hit by a bus trying to escape the chaos of the apocalypse that had fallen upon the world. Only eleven years old, a week into secondary school and she was mauled to death by a zombie. At least if it was a drone she would have died at least a bit quicker. I still have nightmares.
One minuet you were human, an hour later you were a zombie, and two weeks later you were a creature that belonged in hell…
They were called drones, they were humanoid creatures. A thousand years of evolution in two weeks. The skull elongated. Nails grew into claws. And the skin (if it had not rotted away) became a shell.
So there we were, it was early evening about 4:30 pm. I knew Shinjuku was big but this was stupid, it was the size of a large British city. To think this was only a small area of Tokyo.
When we got to the house it was raining like you wouldn’t believe, lightning lit up the sky like a thousand bombs. When we got there, there was a small black lump on the door step. Perhaps it was a stray… the thing moved… we pulled up a few meters from the door, sat there and watched.
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped… the thing shifted. It stood up… a girl about eleven years old. She had ragged shoulder length hair and soft features. She had obviously been on the streets for quit some time as she had no shoes and a ripped T-shirt. Beneath the T-shirt were bandages, still soaking up blood.
My dad sat up and got out of the car and briskly walked up to the girl… I knew what he was going to do.
‘What the hell do you think your doing? The girl looked up in surprise and fear… she did not answer.
I walked up to her, my mum soon followed. I grabbed my dads shoulder to stop him; I could tell he wanted to hit me as well. I said nothing; I put a hand lightly on the girls shoulder to comfort her. I looked down and realised one of her hands was missing.
She coughed and looked up to me. Her eyes were royal blue and full of emotion and feeling: fear, loneliness, agony even hate and kindness. Tears streamed from her eyes. She finally spoke. Her words were soft and full of tension. She spoke so softly I had to strain to hear.
‘I…I……I’m sorry… I’ll leave…’ she was shaking violently. Her knees buckled.
I looked up. ‘Oh shit, her pulse is so faint.’
We carried her to the car and drove to a hospital.
I didn’t know then, she would change my life…

EVENT1
YEAR-2076 January 26TH

The air was cold; the sun wouldn’t rise for another hour. I lay in bed, waiting for Kiyra to bound into my room… then I remembered. My mother had died a year ago, as if I could forget that. Kyra had gone quiet every time the subject came up.
Kiyra. That was her name. The girl we saved on the day we moved to Japan. We rushed her to hospital and paid 10,000,000 yen for full prosthetic arm. She could now punch a five inch deep dent into a car. My mum insisted then that we adopt her. Once she was settled in she suddenly started talking. She had been on the run for nearly three years. Her parents had tried to kill her. She changed her name so long ago she had forgotten.
Then a year ago she suddenly went quiet. She had witnessed our mum die.

She always insisted on wearing a seatbelt but she still managed to go through the windscreen, she was decapitated by a mangled shard of metal from an illegally modified jaguar. Kiyra sat there for nearly half an hour in the twisted, mangled, burning car. She escaped, covered in blood and screaming in terror and pain but alive. The guy who did all this was found… he was a victim of the plague… X13… he was found and shot. That’s all I know

After that day… she changed. She smiled of cores but not because she wanted to or because she was happy but for me. She still wakes up at night and cries. I hear her from my room. I bite my hand to the point of bleeding, to try and ease my own pain. The mental pain… the thought that I could have done something.
I sat up taking her wrapped present from under my bed. And went to her room. I stood in front of her door and swallowed hard… she was crying… on her birthday I bit my thumb to stop myself crying too. I knocked and walked slowly in.
The room was dark. I pulled the blind up, not that there was a lot of light at 7:15 on a winter morning. I don’t think she even heard me come in until I sat on the end of her bed.
I sighed putting my warm hands on her cold hand ‘thinking of her again’ I said. I realised what I had just said was stupid and made me feel like an inconsiderate bastard. I sighed again and hugged her ‘I’m sorry Kiyra, I miss her to.’ I looked down at my knees ‘I’m so sorry.’
I dried her eyes and tried to smile. ‘Now please, please try to smile… it’s your thirteenth birthday.’
She looked up and smiled… I knew it was forced but at least it was something. ‘Sorry’ she finally said. She got out of bed and turned on the light and yawned. I smiled and went back to my room.
It was Sunday… only three more quiet days and we were back at school. I was determined to spend as much time as I could with Kiyra.
When she came down we all sat round a small table pilled high with presents from around the world: England, France, and Spain… Most of the people who sent these had never met Kiyra.
I was amazed at the stuff she got. She loved old stuff, mainly weapons “especially the ones that go bang.” Yeah… that’s right my little sister is a pyromaniac… even more than I am. She got a tone of Airsoft guns. My dad gave her a necklace with an angel with two out stretched arms each holding katanas pointing down.
On the floor next to the table was a huge box addressed to both of us. The box was about two metres by one. We carefully lifted the box onto the table and then lifted the lid. Inside were two massive pistols and two real katanas. Each of the guns had our name etched into them in English ether side of our names were kanji our dad had obviously thought described us well. My gun said guardian and shadow on Kiyra’s was caring and the tsuki (the moon). The blades were incredible. I don’t know about Kiyra’s blade but mine was perfectly balanced. The blade was rather thick for a katana but it weighed the same as a normal sword, on the flat of the blade was etched the words and the blood of cowards will poor from their eyes. The scabbard was exquisitely detailed with gold symbols.


27th January 2076

I sat in my room with Kiyra whit an old DVD I had found in a 2nd hand shop, it must have been at least 60 years old but she was happy. The light was just beginning to fade.
The last of the film credits were rolling past the screen. Kiyra sat up and rubbed her eyes. I smiled ‘you tired.’
She smiled and shook her head ‘nope.’ There was something about her… she seemed happy, I mean genuinely happy.
There was a sudden bone rattling thunderclap. Kiyra yelped in sudden fear. I walked over to her and hugged her. ‘It’s ok, it’s only thunder.’ I smiled again at her ‘you want to sleep on the floor in here tonight then.’
I pulled out a spare mattress from under my bed and prepared it while she got changed in her room.
I went down stairs to get Kiyra’s medication, without it Kiyra’s Bio-mechanical arm would be rejected by her body. First she would start vomiting… and well it’s not nice.
I was about to go back upstairs, then my dad called me back into the lounge.
‘Ryu… come here a minuet.’ I did as he asked, it seemed important, he stared transfixed at the TV screen. When I followed his gaze I realised why.
A city in ruin, men, women and children ran for their lives. Explosions and fire. A news reader sat at her desk with a black expression on her face ‘This footage was captured about an hour ago. The 616X13 virus was discovered in down town Osaka. 30 people have been found dead, 150 injured and 45 people missing.’
I had to turn away. ‘What does it all mean, how the hell cold a something like that infect so many people In such a short period of time.’
My dad tapped me on the shoulder ‘Ryu, don’t tell Kiyra about this Osaka is only the most major place to be hit, the disease is spreading like wildfire. We have a few days, a week at most to leave.’
‘So you expect me to just keep quiet about this, I guess your going to tell her…. Don’t say anything… j… just fuck off.’ I walked back up stairs. The thunder and rain still hammered down.
I found Kiyra stood in front of the TV crying… She knew as well as I did we didn’t have long before we had to run and never slow down.



i im still writeing and editing so it is not perfect... send hate msgs through pm This is my gun



















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sdp2501

Forum Posts : 132

Location : Plymouth, UK

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Original Characters : Kiyra, Ryu

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Registration date : 2010-12-30

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Re: MY ORIGIONAL NOVEL

Post by ChaosKin640 on Mon 9 May 2011 - 8:23

I like it. It definitely has potential and the informal writing style works pretty well for what you have so far. It gives it a more...personal feel; almost as if the protagonist is sitting there with you, telling you his life's story. A bit of work is needed on fleshing some things out, such as working in more detailed descriptions of the setting so that readers can "see" what's around the characters, but you said yourself that you're still in the process of writing and editing, so those extra touches can come later.

All in all, a very nice first installment. I'm intrigued and looking forward to learning more about Kiyra's past.
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Re: MY ORIGIONAL NOVEL

Post by Nachtsider on Mon 9 May 2011 - 8:54

Meteors, cyborgs, World War Three, epidemics, plasma cannons, sky cities, zombies... dude, my head is spinning. Why are you shoehorning so many concepts/ideas into one story?

Also, for the love of God. Spell check.

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