STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

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STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by tremec6speed on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 3:43

I have wondered for a few days now about GSG people or tales that never made the cut. If this subject has already been posted, I apologize and will post this on that thread. I looked but didn't see it. Anyone care to chat about what could have been cool ideas that were dropped and all but forgotten?
After I had just finished seeing the anime, I was inspired to write about a fratello who's names and basic story line I had completed but decided to retire them soon after I heard of Petrushka and the red haired, freckle faced cyborg because I decided my own mechanical maiden was too similar.
I originally named her Helen then I changed it to Andrea and her handler was a guy called Rob. The gist is like this: The handler was a serial killer from Portugal who attacked merchant ships going to and from his home land, sneaking aboard, killing some of the crew then jumping ship close to shore.
He decided years later to quarantine himself living in the desert of Egypt as a nomad in order to try to evade his desire for killing.
One day a conditioning doctor and his wife who just so happens were vacationing there were attacked by thieves, and this man went ahead and rescued them. Showing great skill in fighting, the doctor was duly impressed and adamant he join the SWA. With a fake ID and phony past he hesitantly agreed because of the insistence of the would be victims. This man was friendly and personable, but when his blood lust kicked in, his eyes would roll back and he'd use his trusty axe to great effect!
Paired up with his gen1 machine, he found her to be a kind and obedient little girl who had a calming effect on him. Around her, the evil part of him would subside and be controllable even if the thought of offing enemy agents would normally bring about his Mister Hyde side, so to speak.
However the tale would end with the child weapon becoming resistant to the drugs. In time, she'd become completely immune to it and as a result her painful past would come back to haunt her full force as well as releasing her pacifist, shy true nature. Realizing his partner was effectively useless and genuinely worried as to what her fate might be if discovered, Rob set about taking over fighting Padania, however this made it impossible to resist the call of his inner demon. One day, when the child inside the machine witnessed the horror that was his blood lust, she became terrified of him to the point of leaving an anonymous note on Jean's desk detailing how he killed. Discussing this with Lorenzo, the two men sensed a distant bell ringing and upon doing research, came to the conclusion as to who this man really was. Rob was confronted with the truth and given a choice:
accept the agency's own justice (death) or be sent on a suicide mission. The killer chose the latter.
Understanding that she had no future in this place, coupled with a growing sense of guilt,
(since the standard mind wipe had no effect on her) Andrea jumped at the chance to assist on a mission along with Claes which entailed blowing up a Padania strong hold.
However, when the explosives went off, the girl purposely never vacated the premises, ending her own life. I rejected this pair because I pictured the cyborg as a would-be dancer, an actress, etc, but with no talent! (Petra being an actual dancer seemed too close for comfort) I could picture her trying to dance but crashing into chairs and things with the other girls trying to help by pulling stuff out of the way so as to minimize the damage done to the surroundings. I kept this duo on hold but when I read about the red haired and freckled faced cyborg, I gave her up since this is how I pictured her.
I still like the concept of a cyborg becoming immune to the drugs and am playing with the idea of giving this to Ayden, my other fratello cyborg. Also, I like the serial killer handler idea, but am not sure where to go with him without Andrea since his fate is so tied to hers.
Finally, there is a story I was drawing that featured Helen taking on Padania agents which at first I thought was good, then got stupid to the point of just stopping outright and not bothering to finish it.
Have you guys also had characters and plots that initially filled you with interest only kill the project for one reason or another?


Last edited by tremec6speed on Sun 24 Jul 2011 - 3:45; edited 26 times in total
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tremec6speed

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Alfisti on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 5:57

Certainly an interesting sounding concept the first one. If I'm honest I think the serial killer idea would have been a difficult one to sell. Not impossible, but you would have needed to be careful how you played it and made it believable... particularly on the ID front. I only say that as I sort of figure the SWA deals in fake identities and aliases fairly regularly, so any fake they were presented with would need to be a cut above the norm.

That said, the idea of the cyborg leaving an anonymous note would certainly be an interesting study of loyalty-to-handler vs. loyalty-to-agency...

@tremec6speed wrote:Have you guys also had characters and plots that initially filled you
with interest only kill the project for one reason or another?
Oh so many...

...one was early in J+M's "lives", when I intended to have them break the 4th wall a bit more, be more genre aware, and was intended to explain as to why they were breaking the 4th wall. Essentially it revolved around them being Agents sent to chase down an Evil Genius (named Dr. Aida) who had built himself a plot-hole-generator and intended to use it to break out of his own universe into another where he could write his own universe into his own image. Obviously they fail, and the subsequent self-destruct-explosion (there's always one right?) are hurled halfway and wind up in literary-character-purgatory: ie. damned to be some idiot's fancharacters.

The rest is history and I would have gone to fan-comic-Hell.

Now of course it doesn't quite fit with how I want to play them so...


...other than that there's been the occasional additional fratello ideas, mostly intended as stay-in-Italy/more fun loving characters than J+M. However, at the end of the day and to quote Monty: I'm only qualified to manage one and I happen to rather like them.

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by tremec6speed on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 6:16

Yeah, you're right Alfisti, The phony ID bit is a tough one to slip through. "That said, the idea of the cyborg leaving an anonymous note would certainly be an interesting study of loyalty-to-handler vs. loyalty-to-agency..."
Indeed, it can also be seen as someone whose chemical veil has been lifted and has to face the monster her supposed 'brother' actually is!
I liked your idea with the evil genius Doctor Aida, that's pretty cool actually! Appreciate your input! Very Happy
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tremec6speed

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 13:19

When developing stories and characters, it is best to build what you like on what you know. Dont create 10,000 characters and have no stories for them- a couple of members here are famous for that. I dont consider an RPG as a story platform but one can use that as a start for creative works.

How and where the story goes, what happens to the characters is on you. Technologies used should as what is in Canon and whats viable now. One can cheat but that cheapens the story unless you can incorporate it in such a way that it works nicely (like Time Travel as used in the Movie 'Time after Time). A story like in the the serial killer would be great. I had one in SWA: Diclonius End Game, where an accused serial murderer had some 40 victims in a very short time, leaving gory evidence behind. For that reason alone, the story is in the Mature Section of the FF.net Gunslinger Girl section.

The plot depends on how your characters interact in the story. I say just put it all down and see where it goes, making adjustments along the way. You do have some great characters here.

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by tremec6speed on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 13:50

Thanks for the suggestive improvements and comments, Elfen Magix, I have seen the movie 'Time After Time' . Smile I'm reading http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5434125/1/SWA_Diclonius_End_Game
now. Sounds excellent, my kinda read! head bang
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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Good ol Boy on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 14:52

Oh boy... this is a topic I could go on forever about.  I'm afraid all my GSG fan characters (Dusty, Kit and Murdoch) I'd come up with have suffered this fate.  I just kind of realized my idea wasn't going anywhere and I just wasn't big enough of a fan of the original source material to make it work.  But Kit and Murdoch both were recycled from a previous failed storyline (a cyberpunk story that was just way over my head in both writing and art), so this was nothing new to me.  But they're not all gone, Kit lives on as a character in a sci-fi story I'm working on.  I also have plans for Dusty  to resurface in a crime story at some point, as a bounty hunter and for Murdoch to be either her father (and boss) in that story or for him to show up in a western story.
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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Alfisti on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 20:18

@ElfenMagix wrote:I dont consider an RPG as a story platform but one can use that as a start for creative works.
I personally consider the RPG as a bit of fun and a useful development tool... as long as one keeps in mind the differing requirements of creating a fun RPG character vs. creating a successful story character.

@Good ol Boy wrote:But Kit and Murdoch both were recycled from a previous failed storyline (a cyberpunk story that was just way over my head in both writing and art), so this was nothing new to me. But they're not all gone, Kit lives on as a character in a sci-fi story I'm working on. I also have plans for Dusty to resurface in a crime story at some point, as a bounty hunter and for Murdoch to be either her father (and boss) in that story or for him to show up in a western story.
I'll be honest: I'm a bit dubious of recycling characters... call it a case of once bitten, twice shy. I think unless the characters are filling a similar role in a similar context then it can lead to problems.

Classic (and now that I look back at it, stupid-to-even-try on my part) example: I had a set of characters that started in a military story, and transitioned well into another military story (which was essentially part of the original broken out into a different context)... however when I tried to transition the same characters again into a city-based slice-of-life... yeah, that didn't go so well and I just found myself trying to maintain character traits that no longer fit or made sense. Essentially what I wound up with was a mess and ultimately the project got canned.

That said, I guess if they weren't fitting into their original context so well, maybe a change could help too. Razz

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Good ol Boy on Thu 21 Jul 2011 - 23:39

@Alfisti wrote:
Classic (and now that I look back at it, stupid-to-even-try on my part) example: I had a set of characters that started in a military story, and transitioned well into another military story (which was essentially part of the original broken out into a different context)... however when I tried to transition the same characters again into a city-based slice-of-life... yeah, that didn't go so well and I just found myself trying to maintain character traits that no longer fit or made sense. Essentially what I wound up with was a mess and ultimately the project got canned.

That said, I guess if they weren't fitting into their original context so well, maybe a change could help too. Razz

Well, they really weren't fitting in with the whole GSG thing. And really, about all I recycle are the names and general appearances. The personalities and experiences that made them are usually just scrapped. For instance, the new variant of Kit (while a cyborg again) is very different. Dusty may or may not return... she is awfully similar in personality to the heroine of the same sci-fi story Kit is going into. My plans for the return of Murdoch is in the form of a rancher in a western/steampunk story, simply a supporting role, though a very quirky one.
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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by tremec6speed on Sat 23 Jul 2011 - 2:21

Well Good ol Boy, it sounds to me like regardless of what scenario/story Kit, Murdock (Dusty, possibly?) return as, it should be good and I hope to read about them if not on this site then on perhaps fanfiction.net someday!
Smile
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tremec6speed

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Good ol Boy on Sun 24 Jul 2011 - 17:29

well, if it's alright, I'd like to still drop some sketches and such into my sketch thread. While they aren't really this genre anymore, you guys were always very supportive of me, and my art. Maybe I could start up a different thread for them, if there is an off-topic section.
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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by tremec6speed on Sun 24 Jul 2011 - 21:15

sounds cool to me! (although I'm not a site moderator, or anything)
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tremec6speed

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Professor Voodoo on Sun 24 Jul 2011 - 22:36

@Good ol Boy wrote:Maybe I could start up a different thread for them, if there is an off-topic section.
Plenty of other artists (Alfisti, 47ness, Triela etc.) have posted non-GsG works in their art threads...I think it's safe to keep all your stuff in one without creating another thread. That way it's easier to find later.

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Re: STALLED or REJECTED: characters and or stories

Post by Good ol Boy on Mon 25 Jul 2011 - 17:37

@Professor Voodoo wrote:
@Good ol Boy wrote:Maybe I could start up a different thread for them, if there is an off-topic section.
Plenty of other artists (Alfisti, 47ness, Triela etc.) have posted non-GsG works in their art threads...I think it's safe to keep all your stuff in one without creating another thread. That way it's easier to find later.

Well, in that case, I'll go ahead and upload a few. Thanks guys.
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