If you became a handler...

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If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 8 Feb 2013 - 7:19

...what would you be driving/riding/whatever?

Perhaps more to the point: why would you choose that to drive/ride/whatever said vehicle(s)?

We already have one of these threads for weapons, so it might be fun to have one for vehicles as well... also because I was thinking about it today rather than, you know... concentrating on what I probably should have been.


As to what handler-Alfisti would be driving...
Spoiler:
...well, that really depends on what handler-Alfisti was slated to be doing.

So; things I like in a car: go fast, corner well, be interactive, style and ability to chew up highway miles... not necessarily in that order; but you still do need to live with this every day.

Now temper with sensibleness... sort of, and remember there's also a job to be done.

In what seems to be the more traditional fratello role; ie. shorter durations, with the promise of someone else to clean up after you 90% of the time, often in urban environments... then something small and hatchlike would probably fit the bill. Something like...


The VW Golf R... in grey and manual. Which has AWD and retains its small hatchback dimensions whilst still going like a cut cat... and of course it has the added benifit of looking like every other VW Golf ever made.

Unfortunately, I'm me: who likes to be able to steer on the thottle... and that looks like every other Golf ever made

Making option B:


The BMW 135i coupe. In manual and grey... again.

Like the Golf it retains a small car size and turning circle whilst still going like the clappers (BMW having stuck to the tried and true method of making a fast car: take a small car and shoehorn in the largest engine you can), whilst having RWD and looking better. I realise the last two are probably downsides from one point of view, but there's some personal likes at play here as well. It is short two doors as well.

On the upside it's a much more pleasant way in which to chew big milages though, and the extra space of a coupe boot means you could get a decent size body in there without needing to break it down into kit form (not to mention its completely hidden rather than just having a flimsy load cover)... or, umm, you know... extra luggage for an extended mission.

Of course, if the fratello was going to spend longer away from home on a regular basis (not J+M style... because you already know the answer to that... but, say; Hilshire and Triela in Montalcino) then something a bit larger might be in order. Something like, say...

...well, I was originally going to say an Audi A5 sportback (AWD, V6 diesel) but... you know what?... unless I got a Monty then I'm not certain I really want to ferry a cyborg around in that. So, straight to practical plan B:


Back to VW... in this case the CC, preferably with the V6 and AWD. Yes, it's not really that fun to drive (and come to think of it, that may not be a bad thing as it would help prevent me starting to think I was James Bond), and yes I'd occasionally feel like a successful accountant, but it does at least have some styling and the 0-60mph time 0.1 second faster than the Golf R's. More to the point it has two extra doors, enough bootspace to keep both a dead body and your equipment and luggage out of sight (important if you're away from home) and is, by all accounts, a pretty pleasant place to be over a distance.

Being a fair whack cheaper than the A5 doesn't hurt either.

Which makes it, suprisingly, (and as tempting as, say, an original Mini Cooper S or Fiat 500 CC in bright yellow would be) an all Teutonic lineup.


So, lets hear it: what would handler-you be driving/riding/whatever; and why.


Last edited by Alfisti on Sun 10 Feb 2013 - 2:57; edited 4 times in total

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by boomer_gonz on Fri 8 Feb 2013 - 7:32

Something that just screams..

CAPTAIN
CAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAN!

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kurosaka "Ery" Erika on Fri 8 Feb 2013 - 7:57

bummer...

Ferrari 458 Italia would be my choice

reason; it's like driving F1 race car n_n
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Fri 8 Feb 2013 - 11:08

First choice would be the Cadillac ELR:



1) It's a small coupe, so it at least has a chance of working in tight Italian cities.

2) It's a hybrid so on electric power it's silent (good for sneaking up on a location).

3) It's powerful (207hp / 295lb/ft) so it can scoot when it needs to.

4) It's sexy enough to look Italian (especially in black).

5) It's luxurious enough to look Italian.

http://www.desktopmachine.com/press/1952/Cadillac_ELR/



Option 2 would be the Citroën DS4 Racing Concept:




It's small, French and a hatchback which means it's cool.

http://www.desktopmachine.com/press/1558/Citroën_DS4_Racing_Concept/

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 8 Feb 2013 - 11:17

Kiskaloo wrote:2) It's a hybrid so on electric power it's silent (good for sneaking up on a location).
Funny you should mention that: Danilo will shortly be swapping his Civic for a Lexus ct200h for that very reason (well, amongst others).

And the DS4 is nice. I had a nose around one (not the racing though) the other day. Looks cool, great interior and what I think I can honestly say are the most comfortable car seats I've ever sat in:

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sat 9 Feb 2013 - 16:15

Well, the thing for me is flexibility. Can I take a car into multiple settings and not get myself completely screwed because said car lacks the ability to do some critical job? To that end:



The BMW 550i Gran Turismo. Yes, yes, a lot of people have a lot of different issues with it. But the fact of the matter is that this car, while less stylish and not as badass as the 328i, the Porche 911, etc., can do a ridiculous amount of things while still being fairly good looking, accelerate quickly, and corner effectively. The vehicle is designed to be comfortable to drive in or, given the need, wait around in while on location. And while many people consider the 550i GT to look very odd and peculiar, especially in comparison to the 328i, compared to many of the other cars in the market today, the Gran Turismo looks good enough for you to turn up outside a gentlemen's club, hand the valet your keys, and not have the maitre d' turn you away at the door. Should you be found out, the 550i's engine is strong enough that most pursuers will need to be in obtrusively large numbers to catch you and your surprisingly high cornering ability.

Yet simultaneously, the 550i GT can do a great deal of grunt work. The boot space is large and can be made larger by folding down the back seats, allowing you to haul a significant amount of gear around in a discrete manner. The back opens either in the standard car style or like a hatch back, again allowing for large amounts of storage and a convenient sitting place. Alternatively, open the back with the seats folded and lay down the passenger side chair for your cyborg to snipe from. The power of the V8 engine in the 550i allows for quick acceleration, yes, but it also grants you much torque, which can be very useful if your operation suddenly needs to tear down a small shed. An unrealistic consideration, perhaps, but having three or four different cars for several different jobs isn't good fiscal policy. Much better to get the one car that can perform admirably in a variety of places.

However, there is one thing that a 550i GT can NOT do, and that is conduct an operation in the countryside. Sure, it can go down a rural path easily enough, but targets have an annoying tendency to run off the path where you'll have to pursue them by foot. Or, you could just get one of these:


I'm not sure there's really much to say other than: effectively indestructable. A Toyota Pickup is actually indestructable, but a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon comes pretty close. Given that a cyborg can shoot from a car fairly effectively, compared to the completely ineffective shooting from a human, and this car should allow me to go basically anywhere to run down my target.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Sat 9 Feb 2013 - 22:18

El Conservatore wrote:The BMW 550i Gran Turismo. Yes, yes, a lot of people have a lot of different issues with it.
I'm actually like the 5GT... a lot, and sometimes suspect the people who attack it for not being driver-focused enough have missed the point. The only thing that torpedoed it on my own set of priorities here was size.

Of course there was always the recently released 3GT, which was actually what started this whole line of thinking in the first place:


But... I dunno... maybe it looks better in the metal but the more pictures I saw the more top and tail heavy it looked: the "big-hatch" proportions just don't seem to have worked so well on the smaller 3-series, particularly with the lower front of the new model. Long story short: it was struck from the lineup for being ugly.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 9 Feb 2013 - 22:27

The only "four-door coupe" that works for me from an aesthetic basis is the original - the Mercedes CLS. Especially the current model. On Cloud 9

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Sat 9 Feb 2013 - 22:30

Kiskaloo wrote:The only "four-door coupe" that works for me from an aesthetic basis is the original - the Mercedes CLS. Especially the current model.
I'll admit: the styling trend has grown on me. I just wish people would stop trying to tell me it's a coupe; it's a big hatchback, get over it Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sat 9 Feb 2013 - 23:16

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:The BMW 550i Gran Turismo. Yes, yes, a lot of people have a lot of different issues with it.
I'm actually like the 5GT... a lot, and sometimes suspect the people who attack it for not being driver-focused enough have missed the point. The only thing that torpedoed it on my own set of priorities here was size.

Of course there was always the recently released 3GT, which was actually what started this whole line of thinking in the first place:


But... I dunno... maybe it looks better in the metal but the more pictures I saw the more top and tail heavy it looked: the "big-hatch" proportions just don't seem to have worked so well on the smaller 3-series, particularly with the lower front of the new model. Long story short: it was struck from the lineup for being ugly.

Yeah, I thought about the 3GT, but I couldn't bring myself to go for it without more info. And having seen a 328i in the metal, I KNOW that the bootspace is good, but not great in comparison to the 550i. Size IS an issue, but working in an (sub)urban environment, it seems like this wouldn't be that much of an issue unless you tried to outrun a Lamborghini Gallardo.

@Kisk:
I've not much experience in this field, to be honest. The Big-Hatch design isn't something you see a lot in the US. I will say, however, that the 328i blows everything I've seen out of the water, period. It looks fanTAStic, even in comparison to something ridiculous like a McLaren SLR:






The McLaren is just like "SWOOOOOOOSH" and so exciting, but the 328i keeps it all together. The McLaren just blatantly declares that it will overtake you, but the BMW notes that it could and will eventually. It's got not to much flash, not to much understatement, and presents itself cleanly. Beautiful, but classy about it.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Sun 10 Feb 2013 - 7:00

El Conservatore wrote:Size IS an issue, but working in an (sub)urban environment, it seems like this wouldn't be that much of an issue unless you tried to outrun a Lamborghini Gallardo.
To be honest, I'm not entirely certain what you're trying to say here . Is it that the 5GT's size would only become an issue if you were trying to run away from something small, fast and nimble? Because a Gallardo is fairly short, but it's the same width as a 5GT.

Just looking for clarification is all.

My thinking was more around being able to pull into tight alleyways to get away, or get closer to a target area/stay hidden whilst letting the cyborg out; though I guess you specced a sunroof... Wink

As I think/hope I alluded to before though: there's no right or wrong answer here; it's all about personal preference and what matters to you, how you'd want to run your fratello and how you'd go about balancing needs, wants and compromises in line with that.

My views in that respect are probably somewhat coloured by writing J+M with their "small loadout and make do" approach; so I'll sacrifice load carrying capacity, space and flexibility for a smaller form factor. Different strokes for different folks as it were... and roles, and views and approaches. That's why I asked for reasoning as well in the original post: because to be brutally honest its the reasoning and thought process here what interests me personally. The actual end result of that is almost a moot point. Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sun 10 Feb 2013 - 14:51

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Size IS an issue, but working in an (sub)urban environment, it seems like this wouldn't be that much of an issue unless you tried to outrun a Lamborghini Gallardo.
To be honest, I'm not entirely certain what you're trying to say here . Is it that the 5GT's size would only become an issue if you were trying to run away from something small, fast and nimble? Because a Gallardo is fairly short, but it's the same width as a 5GT.

Just looking for clarification is all.

My thinking was more around being able to pull into tight alleyways to get away, or get closer to a target area/stay hidden whilst letting the cyborg out; though I guess you specced a sunroof... Wink

As I think/hope I alluded to before though: there's no right or wrong answer here; it's all about personal preference and what matters to you, how you'd want to run your fratello and how you'd go about balancing needs, wants and compromises in line with that.

My views in that respect are probably somewhat coloured by writing J+M with their "small loadout and make do" approach; so I'll sacrifice load carrying capacity, space and flexibility for a smaller form factor. Different strokes for different folks as it were... and roles, and views and approaches. That's why I asked for reasoning as well in the original post: because to be brutally honest its the reasoning and thought process here what interests me personally. The actual end result of that is almost a moot point. Razz

Well, it was more along the lines of "Gallardos are stupidly fast due to bigger engines and lighter weights". I'm more of a "hide in plain sight" guy myself, so I'd rather disembark 100 feet away from the target and make my way too it than pull up less than 20 feet from it. Though now that I think about it, it's entirely possible that a Giulietta doesn't fit into an alleyway....

By the way, Alfi, any thoughts on the Mégane Renaultsport?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sun 10 Feb 2013 - 15:26

El Conservatore wrote:By the way, Alfi, any thoughts on the Mégane Renaultsport?

It tanked terribly in the marketplace, but the Renault Avantime would definitely have been on my short list during the time I believe the manga is set (2004-2005).

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sun 10 Feb 2013 - 15:47

Kiskaloo wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:By the way, Alfi, any thoughts on the Mégane Renaultsport?

It tanked terribly in the marketplace, but the Renault Avantime would definitely have been on my short list during the time I believe the manga is set (2004-2005).

No disrespect meant, but...

...it looks like a small whale*.





*Disclaimer: Trolling you slightly. Calling it a small whale is a bit much, but I still don't like it that much from an aesthetic stand point.


Last edited by El Conservatore on Sun 10 Feb 2013 - 15:58; edited 1 time in total

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 6:41

El Conservatore wrote:I'm more of a "hide in plain sight" guy myself...
Oh you and me both: but in the same way you like the option of being able to carry more or different kit for flexibility, I like the option of being able to hare off down a narrow street.

That, and I also know from experience that I'm personally a much happier Alfisti in smaller vehicles, and as such tend to gravitate toward them. I find that for me the BMW 1-series coupe, Golf etc sizes seem to strike a nice balance between small size and having enough wheelbase to be pleasant on the highway. That said, I still consider the Alfetta GTV to be the perfect size for a pocket-GT car: though I doubt most of the right-minded population would agree with me (and as an SWA car it'd be useless: I'd never trust it to start, and when it did I'd want to sit around warming it up for five minutes... which could be a somewhat terminal undertaking as a handler; for me or someone I liked... or was at least ostensibly on the same side as).


El Conservatore wrote:By the way, Alfi, any thoughts on the Mégane Renaultsport?
By that I assume you're talking about the most recent RS265?


Big fan. The only reason I didn't look at its predecessor when I bought my current car was because it wasn't RWD; and there was no dealership nearby enough for curiosity to temper laziness and haste. I haven't had the chance to take a up-close squiz at one in the flesh, but they do look fantastic and, from everything I've read, are probably the bext hot hatch out on the market today... though it sounds like the new M135i may give it a run for its money (I'll admit to having trouble wrapping my head around the concept of a RWD hot hatch though).

That said: they do apparentlly have some rear-visibility issues (tempered by a reversing camera if it's specced) and that is a lot of power being extracted from a small engine... with the associated reliability and longevity worries that brings.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 18:39

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:I'm more of a "hide in plain sight" guy myself...
Oh you and me both: but in the same way you like the option of being able to carry more or different kit for flexibility, I like the option of being able to hare off down a narrow street.

That, and I also know from experience that I'm personally a much happier Alfisti in smaller vehicles, and as such tend to gravitate toward them. I find that for me the BMW 1-series coupe, Golf etc sizes seem to strike a nice balance between small size and having enough wheelbase to be pleasant on the highway. That said, I still consider the Alfetta GTV to be the perfect size for a pocket-GT car: though I doubt most of the right-minded population would agree with me (and as an SWA car it'd be useless: I'd never trust it to start, and when it did I'd want to sit around warming it up for five minutes... which could be a somewhat terminal undertaking as a handler; for me or someone I liked... or was at least ostensibly on the same side as).


El Conservatore wrote:By the way, Alfi, any thoughts on the Mégane Renaultsport?
By that I assume you're talking about the most recent RS265?


Big fan. The only reason I didn't look at its predecessor when I bought my current car was because it wasn't RWD; and there was no dealership nearby enough for curiosity to temper laziness and haste. I haven't had the chance to take a up-close squiz at one in the flesh, but they do look fantastic and, from everything I've read, are probably the bext hot hatch out on the market today... though it sounds like the new M135i may give it a run for its money (I'll admit to having trouble wrapping my head around the concept of a RWD hot hatch though).

That said: they do apparentlly have some rear-visibility issues (tempered by a reversing camera if it's specced) and that is a lot of power being extracted from a small engine... with the associated reliability and longevity worries that brings.

Hmmm.... should we assume that we have the support of the Government for any maintenance/repair/rehaul issues?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 22:30

El Conservatore wrote:Hmmm.... should we assume that we have the support of the Government for any maintenance/repair/rehaul issues?
Probably depends on whether you break it on work business or not. That said, I imagine the handlers' cars would be classed as work vehicles, so maintinence etc may be claimable. That said, considering some of the exotic metal some handlers drive, I think the better option for the SWA would be just to pay each man a vehicle allowance out of which buying, upkeep, maintinence and consumables etc are expected to be covered. If you want something more expensive than that will account for, then it's coming out of your own pocket. Repairs, as before, I would imagine then being a case of "were you on SWA business or not" (and no, driving back and forward to the compound doesn't cout) as to whether it comes out of the government's pocket or your own insurance.

I wasn't calling the Renault unreliable; but that's the sort of thing which weighs on my mind with all these small capacity/high output engines.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Officer_Charon on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 22:48

After doing my homework, I'd probably have to emulate Elio, and rock out with a BMW M3 E90 in blue...



... assuming I could get a nice advance on that first paycheck, that is...

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 23:09

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Hmmm.... should we assume that we have the support of the Government for any maintenance/repair/rehaul issues?
Probably depends on whether you break it on work business or not. That said, I imagine the handlers' cars would be classed as work vehicles, so maintinence etc may be claimable. That said, considering some of the exotic metal some handlers drive, I think the better option for the SWA would be just to pay each man a vehicle allowance out of which buying, upkeep, maintinence and consumables etc are expected to be covered. If you want something more expensive than that will account for, then it's coming out of your own pocket. Repairs, as before, I would imagine then being a case of "were you on SWA business or not" (and no, driving back and forward to the compound doesn't cout) as to whether it comes out of the government's pocket or your own insurance.

I wasn't calling the Renault unreliable; but that's the sort of thing which weighs on my mind with all these small capacity/high output engines.

Well say that in the pursuit of a target, you crash your car perpendicularly into his. That'd probably total the vehicle. Would you be covered for a new car?

Officer_Charon wrote:After doing my homework, I'd probably have to emulate Elio, and rock out with a BMW M3 E90 in blue...



... assuming I could get a nice advance on that first paycheck, that is...

So that's BMW and Volkeswagon now. Lot's of German cars in the mix...


Last edited by El Conservatore on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 23:11; edited 1 time in total

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 23:32

El Conservatore wrote:Well say that in the pursuit of a target, you crash your car perpendicularly into his. That'd probably total the vehicle. Would you be covered for a new car?
It probably depends on how your own personal view of the SWA works... but for me personally the SWA isn't made out of money. Yes, it has a big budget, but it also has big expenses.

Were it me doing the beancounting though, it'd boil down to "depends on what you're driving". I imagine there'd be a dollar value cutoff point anything beyond which falls into the category of "well if you're silly enough to be driving something that expensive then it's your own lookout". In the same manner as the vehicle allowance I'd see you getting money up to that cutoff value, then anything more than that is your own problem.

"SWA personnel are not expected to gain or loose in the undertaking of their duties to the SWA.The SWA will support its personnel and cover resonable expenses incurred in the line of duty... but will not be held responsible or pay for its staff's own lunacy or lack of monatary sense."


El Conservatore wrote:
Officer_Charon wrote:After doing my homework, I'd probably have to emulate Elio, and rock out with a BMW M3 E90 in blue...

So that's BMW and Volkeswagon now. Lot's of German cars in the mix...
Probably because ze Germans seem to combine fast and practical so very well.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Officer_Charon on Mon 11 Feb 2013 - 23:33

Reliability, too.... honestly, I don't need a car with a zephyr trapped under the hood... decent handling and space are what I'm after...

If I thought it'd work out overseas, I'd stick with a Vic. *grins*

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 3:00

Officer_Charon wrote:Reliability, too.... honestly, I don't need a car with a zephyr trapped under the hood... decent handling and space are what I'm after...
Though I take it that, by the choice of an M3 over say, a 320d with the M handling package, if there's extra power on offer you're not exactly going to say "no". =P

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 11:04

El Conservatore wrote:Well say that in the pursuit of a target, you crash your car perpendicularly into his. That'd probably total the vehicle. Would you be covered for a new car?

Kara: "That's how we got the 458 Italia!" cheers

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 12:12

Kiskaloo wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Well say that in the pursuit of a target, you crash your car perpendicularly into his. That'd probably total the vehicle. Would you be covered for a new car?

Kara: "That's how we got the 458 Italia!" cheers

James: "You crafty little bugger."
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James: "No."
Caterina: "Awww...."

---

On an unrelated note, I just realized that I'm short enough that any cyborg assigned to me would be about up to my chest at the shortest, and possibly level or taller than me at the tallest. Weird.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 17:08

El Conservatore wrote:On an unrelated note, I just realized that I'm short enough that any cyborg assigned to me would be about up to my chest at the shortest, and possibly level or taller than me at the tallest. Weird.
Well, if you get any say in cyborg candidates just make sure you pick a short one (or always wear Cuban heels)... unless of course you go in for that sort of thing Razz. At least having two smaller people means less luggage and more space for mission-related gear.

Out of curiosity: how tall?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 17:11

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:On an unrelated note, I just realized that I'm short enough that any cyborg assigned to me would be about up to my chest at the shortest, and possibly level or taller than me at the tallest. Weird.
Well, if you get any say in cyborg candidates just make sure you pick a short one... unless of course you go in for that sort of thing Razz. At least having two smaller people means less luggage and more space for mission-related gear.

Out of curiosity: how tall?

Five feet, ten inches. I estimate most 12 year olds to be around 4'10" to 5'00", so I'd only be a head taller than a Gen. 1.

...dude, it'd be hilarious if I was just walking down the hall and the cyborgs mistook me for "the new kid".

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 17:20

El Conservatore wrote:Five feet, ten inches. I estimate most 12 year olds to be around 4'10" to 5'00", so I'd only be a head taller than a Gen. 1.

...dude, it'd be hilarious if I was just walking down the hall and the cyborgs mistook me for "the new kid".
Mate, you're an inch taller than I am (5'9") and amongst the people I know I'd consider myself pretty much bang on average (unfortunately my anthropometrics book is back in civilisation so I can't give an actual average). I sometimes really wonder if Americans are particularly tall because every now and then I do see heights I'd consider as perfectly normal being classified as "short". Eh, just an observation.

Ah well: that must means I can get into things like Super Sevens, Lotus Elises and MGB GTs with a minimum of bodily folding. Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 17:22

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Five feet, ten inches. I estimate most 12 year olds to be around 4'10" to 5'00", so I'd only be a head taller than a Gen. 1.

...dude, it'd be hilarious if I was just walking down the hall and the cyborgs mistook me for "the new kid".
Mate, you're an inch taller than I am (5'9") and amongst the people I know I'd consider myself pretty much bang on average (unfortunately my anthropometrics book is back in civilisation so I can't give an actual average). I sometimes really wonder if Americans are particularly tall because every now and then I do see heights I'd consider as perfectly normal being classified as "short". Eh, just an observation.

Really?! I still think it's kinda hilarious that we're both within a foot of the average cyborg's height. Can you imagine having a conversation with a cyborg and have them not realize that you're not just a new attempt at a male model?



Ah well: that must means I can get into things like Super Sevens, Lotus Elises and MGB GTs with a minimum of bodily folding. Razz

The Exige is sexier.


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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by tremec6speed on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 20:38

Probably an AMC Eagle SX4.
However, I can only imagine I might get some comment from Lorenzo or Jean for picking a vehicle who's latest model was from '87.
Soooooo, if what I want is frowned upon,
(even though I would make a case stating that the vehicle would be modified for better handling and power and that parts are still available; in the States for the most part anyway)
if my choice is considered not suitable for what ever reason, I would accept what ever recommendations the Agency would pick out for me. Go figure


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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 21:56

El Conservatore wrote:I still think it's kinda hilarious that we're both within a foot of the average cyborg's height. Can you imagine having a conversation with a cyborg and have them not realize that you're not just a new attempt at a male model?
Well, I guess Monty has caught it once or twice going the other way...

Actually, I do have a rough idea how it might go down... back when I was doing the cadets thing they ran an "Adventure South" tour; which was a run down from Brisbane to Canberra and back via Sydney to visit the Australian Defence Force Academy and a few RAAF bases. Anyway, I was a cadet corporal at the time, but the first part of it was a 16 hour coach ride south: in civvies. Most of the NCOs sat at the front, but I headed up the back with a few mates who'd not got the promotion and, since they knew me and many of the other kids there were from other squadrons and weren't aware of who I was, everyone talked freely. The penny only dropped when I walked out of the accomodation the next day with two hooks on my shoulder and a whole heap of cadets went white as they tried to remember what had been said.



tremec6speed wrote:if my choice is considered not suitable for what ever reason, I would accept what ever recommendations the Agency would pick out for me.
Ferro: Well then, a diesel Alfa Romeo 159 saloon it is; we already have a few in the motorpool so it'll make logistics easier.

Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Professor Voodoo on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 22:14

Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Hmmm.... should we assume that we have the support of the Government for any maintenance/repair/rehaul issues?
Probably depends on whether you break it on work business or not. That said, I imagine the handlers' cars would be classed as work vehicles, so maintinence etc may be claimable.
There's something none of us have really considered when it comes to maintenance; security.

Robert Frazer's latest offering got me thinking about this last night. In his piece Elio drops off his BMW for service. Does that mean the local BMW shop has been vetted for security? How do we know there isn't a Padania agent in there...one who could install a tracking device, cameras or even a bomb?

This is probably not as big a concern with Michele's Ferrari's & Lamborghini's. They are accustomed to having high-end clients who may have enemies, so their factory technicians likely do have to go through a background check (at the very least).  But I doubt the local Fiat, Ford, BMW or Volkswagen garage in Rome looks that closely at their employees.    

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 22:23

Professor Voodoo wrote:
Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Hmmm.... should we assume that we have the support of the Government for any maintenance/repair/rehaul issues?
Probably depends on whether you break it on work business or not. That said, I imagine the handlers' cars would be classed as work vehicles, so maintinence etc may be claimable.
There's something none of us have really considered when it comes to maintenance; security.

Robert Frazer's latest offering got me thinking about this last night. In his piece Elio drops off his BMW for service. Does that mean the local BMW shop has been vetted for security? How do we know there isn't a Padania agent in there...one who could install a tracking device, cameras or even a bomb?

This is probably not as big a concern with Michele's Ferrari's & Lamborghini's. They are accustomed to having high-end clients who may have enemies, so their factory technicians likely do have to go through a background check (at the very least).  But I doubt the local Fiat, Ford, BMW or Volkswagen garage in Rome looks that closely at their employees.    

BMW isn't precisely cheap though, so I imagine that they'd have security and such to at least 30% that of what Ferrari or Lambo does. I agree that VW and Fiat would probably not spend that much time caring. On the other hand, wouldn't OpSec on the part of the handlers imply that they'd not reveal their identities, meaning that this BMW here belongs to some guy who owns a BMW, not to Elio Alboreto the SWA Agent?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 12 Feb 2013 - 23:25

Professor Voodoo wrote:There's something none of us have really considered when it comes to maintenance; security.

Robert Frazer's latest offering got me thinking about this last night. In his piece Elio drops off his BMW for service. Does that mean the local BMW shop has been vetted for security? How do we know there isn't a Padania agent in there...one who could install a tracking device, cameras or even a bomb?

This is probably not as big a concern with Michele's Ferrari's & Lamborghini's. They are accustomed to having high-end clients who may have enemies, so their factory technicians likely do have to go through a background check (at the very least). But I doubt the local Fiat, Ford, BMW or Volkswagen garage in Rome looks that closely at their employees.
I think per what El noted: the handlers as far as the dealership is concerned would most likely be just another BMW or Audi owner getting their car serviced (bullet holes may need to be done somewhere else). If things have reached the stage where the Padania are able to single out SWA handlers and staff then the organisation has some resonably serious security issues that need dealing with (hmm... sudden possibly idea where to take some of the Roman Holiday stuff).

I tend to look at it this way: the amount of specialist and manufacturer specific equipment required to maintain modern vehicles I really doubt the SWA could do all the maintinence inhouse; and the car makers don't exactly hand that stuff out to just anybody either. Like it or not, maintinence of the handlers' cars is probably going to have to be farmed out to the dealerships or local garages (and I'd imagine the SWA if it was reimbursing the cost would insist on the dealership... if only to maintain warranties). In that case I could see some background vetting going on, but otherwise it may just have to be a case of the vehicle being given a once over by the SWA once it is released.

Either way, I know I've always pictured Jethro's Audi being serviced by the dealer.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Wingdking on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 0:14

I would drive 1969 VW bus in lime green or my 69 harly Davidson or a army hummer and only stand 5 foot 7
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 2:55

For me, I'm generally planning on buying used and maintaining the car myself (with some help from my cyborg). Shopping around has helped me find some rides I actually would like:

Candidates for Daily Driver
BMW M5 (E34)
Why: Because it was in Ronin, and also, I can just remove the badges and pretend it's just another well-worn 5-series. I also like older BMWs because I think they were proper 'Ultimate Driving Machines' when they weren't faking engine noise in the cabin. Also, delicious naturally-aspirated 3.8-liter straight six.

BMW 3-series (E30)
Why: In case the M5 is too big but I still want a 90's BMW with four doors and plenty of aftermarket support.

Lancia Delta HF Integrale 16V
Why: I haven't heard this particular Italian car to be particularly notorious for breaking down. Also, Rally Heritage is a very cool thing, and it's a cool hot hatch and I want one very badly.

2004 Subaru Impreza WRX STI
Why: Same reason as the Delta, but it's Japanese, so it shouldn't break too easily, and if I do break it, there's tons of spare parts availability.

More stuff in a later post.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 5:26

MP5 wrote:For me, I'm generally planning on buying used and maintaining the car myself (with some help from my cyborg).
So... to ask the obvious question: what if your cyborg has precisely zero interest in cars?

...though I guess even if she doesn't like cars she'll like being around her handler and like working on cars because she's doing it with her handler.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 9:54

Alfisti wrote:
MP5 wrote:For me, I'm generally planning on buying used and maintaining the car myself (with some help from my cyborg).

So... to ask the obvious question: what if your cyborg has precisely zero interest in cars?

Just program them to like cars. Smile

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 12:06

Alfisti wrote:
MP5 wrote:For me, I'm generally planning on buying used and maintaining the car myself (with some help from my cyborg).
So... to ask the obvious question: what if your cyborg has precisely zero interest in cars?

...though I guess even if she doesn't like cars she'll like being around her handler and like working on cars because she's doing it with her handler.

I was gonna say... either she can use working on cars as private time with her handler and learn something useful in the process (possibly take a liking to it, perhaps?) or become a project car widow.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Awinnell on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 12:40

Alfisti wrote:
Professor Voodoo wrote:There's something none of us have really considered when it comes to maintenance; security.

Robert Frazer's latest offering got me thinking about this last night. In his piece Elio drops off his BMW for service. Does that mean the local BMW shop has been vetted for security? How do we know there isn't a Padania agent in there...one who could install a tracking device, cameras or even a bomb?

This is probably not as big a concern with Michele's Ferrari's & Lamborghini's. They are accustomed to having high-end clients who may have enemies, so their factory technicians likely do have to go through a background check (at the very least). But I doubt the local Fiat, Ford, BMW or Volkswagen garage in Rome looks that closely at their employees.
I think per what El noted: the handlers as far as the dealership is concerned would most likely be just another BMW or Audi owner getting their car serviced (bullet holes may need to be done somewhere else). If things have reached the stage where the Padania are able to single out SWA handlers and staff then the organisation has some resonably serious security issues that need dealing with (hmm... sudden possibly idea where to take some of the Roman Holiday stuff).

I tend to look at it this way: the amount of specialist and manufacturer specific equipment required to maintain modern vehicles I really doubt the SWA could do all the maintinence inhouse; and the car makers don't exactly hand that stuff out to just anybody either. Like it or not, maintinence of the handlers' cars is probably going to have to be farmed out to the dealerships or local garages (and I'd imagine the SWA if it was reimbursing the cost would insist on the dealership... if only to maintain warranties). In that case I could see some background vetting going on, but otherwise it may just have to be a case of the vehicle being given a once over by the SWA once it is released.

Either way, I know I've always pictured Jethro's Audi being serviced by the dealer.
The only Top secret conection my family had was with G.C.H.Q,i can tell you that they do indeed have their own in house mechanics ,or did when my Grandfather worked there,my mothers car failed its inspection due to rusty sills,he took her car in and in perfect backroom boy logic they welded her car together with stainless steel sills,i imagine they lasted longer than the rest of the car did !

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 14:45

So far I'm totally on board with the Phaeton, Alpha 159, Mégane Renaultsport, And the BMW M cars.


My criteria for the company car provided by the Agency would be:

1) Doesn't draw too much attention.
2) Reasonably quick.
3) Old Money

First choice would be a dark green Citroën SM.

Can you picture Henrietta stepping out of one of these holding her Amati Case?






Last edited by Hamster on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 15:59; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Fixed pic)
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 14:49

Hamster wrote:So far I'm totally on board with the Phaeton, Alpha 159, Mégane Renaultsport, And the BMW M cars.


My criteria for the company car provided by the Agency would be:

1) Doesn't draw too much attention.
2) Reasonably quick.
3) Old Money

First choice would be a dark green Citroën SM.

Can you picture Henrietta stepping out of one of these holding her Amati Case?





Maybe with Elio masquerading as her grandfather, but Jose seems to young to pull off the look. Otherwise, it looks good.

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- President John F. Kennedy
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 17:16

El Conservatore wrote:
Hamster wrote:First choice would be a dark green Citroën SM.

Can you picture Henrietta stepping out of one of these holding her Amati Case?


Maybe with Elio masquerading as her grandfather, but Jose seems to young to pull off the look. Otherwise, it looks good.

Swap Jean for Jose - as I recall, his cover in Florence was as a French pharmaceutical salesman. Smile

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 17:17

Hamster wrote:First choice would be a dark green Citroën SM.
El Conservatore wrote:Maybe with Elio masquerading as her grandfather, but Jose seems to young to pull off the look. Otherwise, it looks good.
I think taking both fratelli would actually be a good plan... actually, take MP5. That way there should be enough mechanical knowledge floating around that one can fix it whilst the other completes the mission Razz *ducks thrown objects*

Don't get me wrong: I'm 100% behind the Citroen SM idea, because I love that car and I would own one... except for the fact I don't think I could afford the upkeep and would have to trade the Alfetta in. However, if you're willing to accept the inevitable problems with running a car (and a French car at that) of that vintage: go for it.



Awinnell wrote:The only Top secret conection my family had was with G.C.H.Q,i can tell you that they do indeed have their own in house mechanics ,or did when my Grandfather worked there,my mothers car failed its inspection due to rusty sills,he took her car in and in perfect backroom boy logic they welded her car together with stainless steel sills,i imagine they lasted longer than the rest of the car did !
How long ago was that though? There was a time where all cars could be maintained with the same set of spanners. These days, since the introductin of complex computer systems (to continue the metaphor) not so much.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Awinnell on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 2:39

Alfisti wrote:
Awinnell wrote:The only Top secret conection my family had was with G.C.H.Q,i can tell you that they do indeed have their own in house mechanics ,or did when my Grandfather worked there,my mothers car failed its inspection due to rusty sills,he took her car in and in perfect backroom boy logic they welded her car together with stainless steel sills,i imagine they lasted longer than the rest of the car did !
How long ago was that though? There was a time where all cars could be maintained with the same set of spanners. These days, since the introduction of complex computer systems (to continue the metaphor) not so much.
that was 40 years ago,and G.C.H.Q is rather good with computer stuff,truth is these days the gov/military usually keeps its cars for 3 years then changes them,thus avoiding most maintenance costs and before they have to get the vehicles inspected(in the UK at least you have to get a cars first M.O.T test after 3 years)

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 4:34

So, part 2 of my choices. A few more daily driver picks, and...some project ideas.

Daily Drivers

Mazda 6 MPS
Why: I had a chance to ride shotgun in the American version, the Mazdaspeed 6. This one I rode in particular had a Cobb Tuning remapped ECU. Boy howdy, these things are faaaast. Much like the M5, it's quite subtle externally, and only the badge tips you off to what lies underneath. 'Sleepy' cars are wonderful things, in my opinion.

Nissan Pulsar GTI-R
Why: This is my idea of an ideal hot hatch. It could only be made better if it were RWD. Imagine scooting around Rome in one of these!


And now, for the fun stuff.

Project Cars (AKA: Why did you buy this?)
This is a list of vehicles my cyborg and I would work on when we have the time and money. Naturally, I've decided on her name. The text is supposed to be a general idea of how the conversation explaining the purchase would go.

Subaru Forester 2.0XT Turbo
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?" Fulvia asked.

"Because, my dear girl, we are going to have a practical vehicle that's capable to a point of going off-road, and we are going to make it more powerful and faster while still having it retain practicality and its otherwise pedestrian appearance. Plus, It will familiarize the both of us with the odds and ends of working with boxer-style engines."

"Hm."

Lancia Fulvia Montecarlo 1300 S

Spoiler:
"Why did you buy this?"

"It's your namesake, and it's a Vintage Lancia. It deserves to be driven and to be seen by the world. You and I can keep it running until it's time to pass it on to the next caretaker."

"So, you named me after this car?"

"Yes and no..."

Volvo 740 GL

Spoiler:
"Why did you buy this?"

"We're turning it into a missile."

"A missile?"

"A Drift missile, to be exact."

"What's that?"

"It's a car that's built and then purposely neglected to be thrashed repeatedly for recreational purposes. It'll be stripped of anything it doesn't need--rear seats, carpets, things like that. When we're done with it, this car will look like a beater, it basically will be a beater, and we will use it for having fun via activities that involve exuberant driving that turns tires into smoke. This will be accomplished by swapping in a more powerful engine and installing things like a hydraulic handbrake to lock up the rear wheels to break traction. Anything else, especially if it concerns aesthetic value, will not be considered."

"Sounds dangerous."

"A little bit."

"Chief Lorenzo will want a word in your ear."

"Most likely."

1974 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT 1800
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"The saying goes you are not a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo. Especially an older one."

"So this has a lot of problems?"

"Potentially."

"And you're volunteering to rectify them?"

"With your help, of course."

"Sir, I am starting to question the state of your mental health..."

1970 Fiat 500
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"I wanted to experiment with this and see if I can replicate a car I created in a video game."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. It was basically this, but the work that was done on it resulted in a tiny car like this producing 115 horsepower out of its meager engine with the help of a centrifugal supercharger. The end result was something surprisingly quick, cornered like a fly, and occasionally went into lift-off oversteer."

"And you want to make that a reality?"

"Yes. I intend on surprising boy racers who think their Opel Astras are cock-of-the-walk. Imagine the look on their faces when they get the doors blown off of them by a tiny old-timer's Fiat."

"I have no words to describe how I feel about this."

Mazda MX-5/Eunos Roadster (NA)
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"I've been a fan of MX-5s for some time. Besides, I want you to learn how to drive in one."

"Sir?"

"In standard form, this is probably one of the easiest cars to maintain and learn how to drive in. It's not excessively powerful, so you will learn how to make the most of an underpowered vehicle. The handling is forgiving, and it is generally a rewarding experience."

"That's very kind of you, sir, but I'm not sure I should be driving."

"What if I'm incapacitated during a mission? Knowing how to drive is a very important skill, and I want to make sure you know it."

"Fair enough."

"This will also be a car I expect you to learn to take care of on your own. You can ask me questions and for the occasional bit of extra help, but I definitely want you to experience what it's like to own and care for a vehicle."

"You should probably clear this up with Chief Lorenzo first, sir."

"I know."


1988 Toyota MR2 (AW11)
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"Because I wanted to own a Mid-engined sports car but don't have the money for a Ferrari or a Lotus Elise."

"So... why this?"

"Well, it's a Toyota. A car of this vintage was built when they really were noticed for their reliability. Plus, unlike a Ferrari, it won't burst into flames so readily."

"Point."

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 5:10

MP5 wrote:Project Cars (AKA: Why did you buy this?)
This is a list of vehicles my cyborg and I would work on when we have the time and money. Naturally, I've decided on her name. The text is supposed to be a general idea of how the conversation explaining the purchase would go.
You really are going to be the brokest handler in the entire organiseation aren't you? Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 12:57

MP5 wrote:So, part 2 of my choices. A few more daily driver picks, and...some project ideas.

I'd just like to echo Alfisti on this one.

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"We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too."

- President John F. Kennedy
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 14:30

Alfisti wrote:
MP5 wrote:Project Cars (AKA: Why did you buy this?)
This is a list of vehicles my cyborg and I would work on when we have the time and money. Naturally, I've decided on her name. The text is supposed to be a general idea of how the conversation explaining the purchase would go.
You really are going to be the brokest handler in the entire organiseation aren't you? Razz

To clarify, these were not bought all at once. These would be different occasions, usually requiring me to flick one car to someone else when we're done mucking about with it and then using that money to buy the next project.

That said, yeah, I'm probably going to be one of the more broke handlers in the SWA.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Wingdking on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 15:58

Is Harley-Davidson common in Italy ?
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Officer_Charon on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 16:16

Not terribly common, at least not the parts that I saw when I was living there.

Then again, it's been 12 years.... but I believe that Italy still prefers it's sport bikes to cruisers...

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Re: If you became a handler...

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