If you became a handler...

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 17:16

El Conservatore wrote:
@Hamster wrote:First choice would be a dark green CitroŽn SM.

Can you picture Henrietta stepping out of one of these holding her Amati Case?


Maybe with Elio masquerading as her grandfather, but Jose seems to young to pull off the look. Otherwise, it looks good.

Swap Jean for Jose - as I recall, his cover in Florence was as a French pharmaceutical salesman. Smile

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Wed 13 Feb 2013 - 17:17

@Hamster wrote:First choice would be a dark green CitroŽn SM.
El Conservatore wrote:Maybe with Elio masquerading as her grandfather, but Jose seems to young to pull off the look. Otherwise, it looks good.
I think taking both fratelli would actually be a good plan... actually, take MP5. That way there should be enough mechanical knowledge floating around that one can fix it whilst the other completes the mission Razz *ducks thrown objects*

Don't get me wrong: I'm 100% behind the Citroen SM idea, because I love that car and I would own one... except for the fact I don't think I could afford the upkeep and would have to trade the Alfetta in. However, if you're willing to accept the inevitable problems with running a car (and a French car at that) of that vintage: go for it.



@Awinnell wrote:The only Top secret conection my family had was with G.C.H.Q,i can tell you that they do indeed have their own in house mechanics ,or did when my Grandfather worked there,my mothers car failed its inspection due to rusty sills,he took her car in and in perfect backroom boy logic they welded her car together with stainless steel sills,i imagine they lasted longer than the rest of the car did !
How long ago was that though? There was a time where all cars could be maintained with the same set of spanners. These days, since the introductin of complex computer systems (to continue the metaphor) not so much.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Awinnell on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 2:39

@Alfisti wrote:
@Awinnell wrote:The only Top secret conection my family had was with G.C.H.Q,i can tell you that they do indeed have their own in house mechanics ,or did when my Grandfather worked there,my mothers car failed its inspection due to rusty sills,he took her car in and in perfect backroom boy logic they welded her car together with stainless steel sills,i imagine they lasted longer than the rest of the car did !
How long ago was that though? There was a time where all cars could be maintained with the same set of spanners. These days, since the introduction of complex computer systems (to continue the metaphor) not so much.
that was 40 years ago,and G.C.H.Q is rather good with computer stuff,truth is these days the gov/military usually keeps its cars for 3 years then changes them,thus avoiding most maintenance costs and before they have to get the vehicles inspected(in the UK at least you have to get a cars first M.O.T test after 3 years)

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 4:34

So, part 2 of my choices. A few more daily driver picks, and...some project ideas.

Daily Drivers

Mazda 6 MPS
Why: I had a chance to ride shotgun in the American version, the Mazdaspeed 6. This one I rode in particular had a Cobb Tuning remapped ECU. Boy howdy, these things are faaaast. Much like the M5, it's quite subtle externally, and only the badge tips you off to what lies underneath. 'Sleepy' cars are wonderful things, in my opinion.

Nissan Pulsar GTI-R
Why: This is my idea of an ideal hot hatch. It could only be made better if it were RWD. Imagine scooting around Rome in one of these!


And now, for the fun stuff.

Project Cars (AKA: Why did you buy this?)
This is a list of vehicles my cyborg and I would work on when we have the time and money. Naturally, I've decided on her name. The text is supposed to be a general idea of how the conversation explaining the purchase would go.

Subaru Forester 2.0XT Turbo
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?" Fulvia asked.

"Because, my dear girl, we are going to have a practical vehicle that's capable to a point of going off-road, and we are going to make it more powerful and faster while still having it retain practicality and its otherwise pedestrian appearance. Plus, It will familiarize the both of us with the odds and ends of working with boxer-style engines."

"Hm."

Lancia Fulvia Montecarlo 1300 S

Spoiler:
"Why did you buy this?"

"It's your namesake, and it's a Vintage Lancia. It deserves to be driven and to be seen by the world. You and I can keep it running until it's time to pass it on to the next caretaker."

"So, you named me after this car?"

"Yes and no..."

Volvo 740 GL

Spoiler:
"Why did you buy this?"

"We're turning it into a missile."

"A missile?"

"A Drift missile, to be exact."

"What's that?"

"It's a car that's built and then purposely neglected to be thrashed repeatedly for recreational purposes. It'll be stripped of anything it doesn't need--rear seats, carpets, things like that. When we're done with it, this car will look like a beater, it basically will be a beater, and we will use it for having fun via activities that involve exuberant driving that turns tires into smoke. This will be accomplished by swapping in a more powerful engine and installing things like a hydraulic handbrake to lock up the rear wheels to break traction. Anything else, especially if it concerns aesthetic value, will not be considered."

"Sounds dangerous."

"A little bit."

"Chief Lorenzo will want a word in your ear."

"Most likely."

1974 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT 1800
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"The saying goes you are not a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa Romeo. Especially an older one."

"So this has a lot of problems?"

"Potentially."

"And you're volunteering to rectify them?"

"With your help, of course."

"Sir, I am starting to question the state of your mental health..."

1970 Fiat 500
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"I wanted to experiment with this and see if I can replicate a car I created in a video game."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. It was basically this, but the work that was done on it resulted in a tiny car like this producing 115 horsepower out of its meager engine with the help of a centrifugal supercharger. The end result was something surprisingly quick, cornered like a fly, and occasionally went into lift-off oversteer."

"And you want to make that a reality?"

"Yes. I intend on surprising boy racers who think their Opel Astras are cock-of-the-walk. Imagine the look on their faces when they get the doors blown off of them by a tiny old-timer's Fiat."

"I have no words to describe how I feel about this."

Mazda MX-5/Eunos Roadster (NA)
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"I've been a fan of MX-5s for some time. Besides, I want you to learn how to drive in one."

"Sir?"

"In standard form, this is probably one of the easiest cars to maintain and learn how to drive in. It's not excessively powerful, so you will learn how to make the most of an underpowered vehicle. The handling is forgiving, and it is generally a rewarding experience."

"That's very kind of you, sir, but I'm not sure I should be driving."

"What if I'm incapacitated during a mission? Knowing how to drive is a very important skill, and I want to make sure you know it."

"Fair enough."

"This will also be a car I expect you to learn to take care of on your own. You can ask me questions and for the occasional bit of extra help, but I definitely want you to experience what it's like to own and care for a vehicle."

"You should probably clear this up with Chief Lorenzo first, sir."

"I know."


1988 Toyota MR2 (AW11)
Spoiler:

"Why did you buy this?"

"Because I wanted to own a Mid-engined sports car but don't have the money for a Ferrari or a Lotus Elise."

"So... why this?"

"Well, it's a Toyota. A car of this vintage was built when they really were noticed for their reliability. Plus, unlike a Ferrari, it won't burst into flames so readily."

"Point."

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 5:10

@MP5 wrote:Project Cars (AKA: Why did you buy this?)
This is a list of vehicles my cyborg and I would work on when we have the time and money. Naturally, I've decided on her name. The text is supposed to be a general idea of how the conversation explaining the purchase would go.
You really are going to be the brokest handler in the entire organiseation aren't you? Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 12:57

@MP5 wrote:So, part 2 of my choices. A few more daily driver picks, and...some project ideas.

I'd just like to echo Alfisti on this one.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 14:30

@Alfisti wrote:
@MP5 wrote:Project Cars (AKA: Why did you buy this?)
This is a list of vehicles my cyborg and I would work on when we have the time and money. Naturally, I've decided on her name. The text is supposed to be a general idea of how the conversation explaining the purchase would go.
You really are going to be the brokest handler in the entire organiseation aren't you? Razz

To clarify, these were not bought all at once. These would be different occasions, usually requiring me to flick one car to someone else when we're done mucking about with it and then using that money to buy the next project.

That said, yeah, I'm probably going to be one of the more broke handlers in the SWA.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Wingdking on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 15:58

Is Harley-Davidson common in Italy ?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Officer_Charon on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 16:16

Not terribly common, at least not the parts that I saw when I was living there.

Then again, it's been 12 years.... but I believe that Italy still prefers it's sport bikes to cruisers...

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 16:44

@Officer_Charon wrote:Not terribly common, at least not the parts that I saw when I was living there.

Then again, it's been 12 years.... but I believe that Italy still prefers it's sport bikes to cruisers...

Still, Ducati is an Italian company, yeah?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 17:21

El Conservatore wrote:
@Officer_Charon wrote:Not terribly common, at least not the parts that I saw when I was living there.

Then again, it's been 12 years.... but I believe that Italy still prefers it's sport bikes to cruisers...

Still, Ducati is an Italian company, yeah?
It's owned by VAG these days, but yes it is still "Italian".

Re: Harley... I honestly don't know, but I'll back what Charon said in that when you think of Italy you think of sports bikes or maybe tourers. Remember, Italy (and Europe in general I guess) lacks the long, empty stretches of highway that cruisers are so well suited for. It instead has busy motorway and windy road. That isn't to say there wouldn't be any cruiser bikes around, but I think they'd be a minority.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Wingdking on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 17:52

Ah ok there goes my plan to have my cyborg and me ride a pair of Harley's looking like members of the hells angels lol
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by John_234 on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 18:56

I really like the 535i I drive, so it'd probably be that or an M5 rebadged like Amsel and Luce's. Despite the whole me buying a Mustang soon thing...

It'd probably be the standard auto / steptronic or flippy paddle shifters, too. They do have stick, but given my cyborg or colleagues might have to drive if I'm out of commission, auto is going to be the most logical choice.

*sigh*

I am a boring person.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 20:03

@Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:By the way, Alfi, any thoughts on the Mťgane Renaultsport?

By that I assume you're talking about the most recent RS265?


Big fan. The only reason I didn't look at its predecessor when I bought my current car was because it wasn't RWD; and there was no dealership nearby enough for curiosity to temper laziness and haste. I haven't had the chance to take a up-close squiz at one in the flesh, but they do look fantastic and, from everything I've read, are probably the bext hot hatch out on the market today... though it sounds like the new M135i may give it a run for its money (I'll admit to having trouble wrapping my head around the concept of a RWD hot hatch though).

Top Gear UK will be testing it this Sunday (along with the Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR)...

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by tremec6speed on Thu 14 Feb 2013 - 21:55

@Alfisti wrote:
@MP5 wrote:For me, I'm generally planning on buying used and maintaining the car myself (with some help from my cyborg).
So... to ask the obvious question: what if your cyborg has precisely zero interest in cars?

...though I guess even if she doesn't like cars she'll like being around her handler and like working on cars because she's doing it with her handler.
If the 'borg don't like the car, up the meds baby, woo hoo! She'll like it soon enough! Muh-m-muhahahaha!
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 4:37

@John_234 wrote:I really like the 535i I drive, so it'd probably be that or an M5 rebadged like Amsel and Luce's. Despite the whole me buying a Mustang soon thing...

It'd probably be the standard auto / steptronic or flippy paddle shifters, too. They do have stick, but given my cyborg or colleagues might have to drive if I'm out of commission, auto is going to be the most logical choice.
"535i" is pretty broad... got a picture of what you'er talking about? Or at least a series number?

Unfortunately autos these days are the logical choice, and I'm a firm believer that diesels work best hooked up to an auto. Gone are the bad old days of slush boxes, four speeds, no engine braking, spongy power takeup and the like. I still prefer to do the work myself with a clutch etc. but having tried a few modern autos I honestly believe the only reason to buy a manual these days is because you happen to enjoy that sort of thing.


On a related note though:
Seeing as we all approach the subject differently in our fiction lets add another question: as a handler, and assuming the SWA passed it, would you be teaching your cyborg to drive?

Personally... well to be honest I'm not sure. I can see the benifits here, but another part of my brain still draws a handler/cyborg demarkation line beside the car keys... and I'm a terrible passenger. In truth, if she did get to learn to drive it wouldn't be for at least a couple of months until I had a chance to get a bead on the cyborg's personality. If I felt she could be trusted with the car keys, then she might get a go.


@Kiskaloo wrote:Top Gear UK will be testing it this Sunday (along with the Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR)...
EVO magazine did the same group test a few issues back when the VXR had just come out, and the verdict was that the Megane was still on top while the Focus was the most old-school entertaining.

To be honest I'll take EVO's opinion over Top Gear's.


Random observation though: I see BMW has been getting a love, with a few scattered VAG products... but Mercedes hasn't been given a look in so far. I wonder if it's a perception thing; interesting.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 11:39

@Alfisti wrote:Random observation though: I see BMW has been getting a love, with a few scattered VAG products... but Mercedes hasn't been given a look in so far. I wonder if it's a perception thing; interesting.

I think the current Mercedes E Class Coupe is gorgeous and it was on my short-list until Cadillac launched the ELR.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 11:54

@Alfisti wrote:
Seeing as we all approach the subject differently in our fiction lets add another question: as a handler, and assuming the SWA passed it, would you be teaching your cyborg to drive?

Personally... well to be honest I'm not sure. I can see the benifits here, but another part of my brain still draws a handler/cyborg demarcation line beside the car keys... and I'm a terrible passenger. In truth, if she did get to learn to drive it wouldn't be for at least a couple of months until I had a chance to get a bead on the cyborg's personality. If I felt she could be trusted with the car keys, then she might get a go.

Pretty sure having a pre-teen behind the wheel would attract some unwanted attention. "Truth be told officer, that's not a 12 year old little girl, it's actually an advanced military weapons platform."
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 12:05

@Hamster wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:Seeing as we all approach the subject differently in our fiction lets add another question: as a handler, and assuming the SWA passed it, would you be teaching your cyborg to drive?
Pretty sure having a pre-teen behind the wheel would attract some unwanted attention. "Truth be told officer, that's not a 12 year old little girl, it's actually an advanced military weapons platform."
Admittedly probably more relevant to the Gen2 cyborgs (older, generally early to mid-teen) than the Gen1s. Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 13:34

@Alfisti wrote:


On a related note though:
Seeing as we all approach the subject differently in our fiction lets add another question: as a handler, and assuming the SWA passed it, would you be teaching your cyborg to drive?

Personally... well to be honest I'm not sure. I can see the benefits here, but another part of my brain still draws a handler/cyborg demarcation line beside the car keys... and I'm a terrible passenger. In truth, if she did get to learn to drive it wouldn't be for at least a couple of months until I had a chance to get a bead on the cyborg's personality. If I felt she could be trusted with the car keys, then she might get a go.

That's why I take the MX-5 approach--I want my cyborg to be able to drive a car, at that, one in Manual (like most cars in Europe are equipped). It's not excessively powerful, so she can't get into too much trouble, and it's fairly responsive and a good teacher. Of all the 'project cars' listed, it is the only one that I would keep, as it would be her car in the first place. Yes, she'll have conditions attached, but it is ultimately hers.


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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 13:43

@Alfisti wrote:On a related note though:
Seeing as we all approach the subject differently in our fiction lets add another question: as a handler, and assuming the SWA passed it, would you be teaching your cyborg to drive?

Having witnessed Roman traffic first hand - hell yes!

It's why Michele lets Kara handle the driving duties around town - her artificial heart can better handle the stress and her augmented reflexes improve the chances of getting through with minimal damage. Wink

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 14:47

@Alfisti wrote:
On a related note though:
Seeing as we all approach the subject differently in our fiction lets add another question: as a handler, and assuming the SWA passed it, would you be teaching your cyborg to drive?

Personally... well to be honest I'm not sure. I can see the benifits here, but another part of my brain still draws a handler/cyborg demarkation line beside the car keys... and I'm a terrible passenger. In truth, if she did get to learn to drive it wouldn't be for at least a couple of months until I had a chance to get a bead on the cyborg's personality. If I felt she could be trusted with the car keys, then she might get a go.


@Kiskaloo wrote:Top Gear UK will be testing it this Sunday (along with the Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR)...
EVO magazine did the same group test a few issues back when the VXR had just come out, and the verdict was that the Megane was still on top while the Focus was the most old-school entertaining.

To be honest I'll take EVO's opinion over Top Gear's.


Random observation though: I see BMW has been getting a love, with a few scattered VAG products... but Mercedes hasn't been given a look in so far. I wonder if it's a perception thing; interesting.

Regarding BMW:
It seems to me, and I may be wrong, that BMW strikes an ideal balance between Aesthetics, Comfort, Performance, and Practicality. Mercedes, as far as I understand, emphasizes Aesthetics and Comfort, makes sure the car has sufficient performance, and then assumes that's about it. On the other hand, Volvo and VW tend to emphasize Practicality and Performance, but Aesthetics take a pretty big hit on a comparative basis and can be comparatively less comfortable.

Teaching your Cyborg to Drive:
Seems like a good plan to me. The general thought I have is that having two drivers is better than one, because it enhances operational flexibility. Furthermore, decreased reaction time and, eventually, higher control fidelity from a cyborg imply better driving skills, should the need arise.

In fact, it seems likely that if we're driving away from an enemy chase, my cyborg would drive while I returned fire. Cyborg would be able to dodge traffic and maintain a more stable firing platform than a mere human.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 15 Feb 2013 - 23:15

El Conservatore wrote:Regarding BMW:
It seems to me, and I may be wrong, that BMW strikes an ideal balance between Aesthetics, Comfort, Performance, and Practicality. Mercedes, as far as I understand, emphasizes Aesthetics and Comfort, makes sure the car has sufficient performance, and then assumes that's about it. On the other hand, Volvo and VW tend to emphasize Practicality and Performance, but Aesthetics take a pretty big hit on a comparative basis and can be comparatively less comfortable.
I don't know if I'd consider Mercedes to be without performance: Pagani afterall uses Mercedes engines. However I personally have always considered them something of a blunt instrument: fast, but less pointy than a BMW with their emphasis on going fast comfortably.


El Conservatore wrote:Teaching your Cyborg to Drive:
Seems like a good plan to me. The general thought I have is that having two drivers is better than one, because it enhances operational flexibility. Furthermore, decreased reaction time and, eventually, higher control fidelity from a cyborg imply better driving skills, should the need arise.

In fact, it seems likely that if we're driving away from an enemy chase, my cyborg would drive while I returned fire. Cyborg would be able to dodge traffic and maintain a more stable firing platform than a mere human.
I sometimes wonder if the cyborg really would be the better driver: yes they have the physical advantages and reaction time, but the girls will always be behind in one major respect: experience. So while they can react faster to a changing situation, they haven't had the time to learn what to expect on the road.

Just a thought.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sat 16 Feb 2013 - 1:53

@Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Regarding BMW:
It seems to me, and I may be wrong, that BMW strikes an ideal balance between Aesthetics, Comfort, Performance, and Practicality. Mercedes, as far as I understand, emphasizes Aesthetics and Comfort, makes sure the car has sufficient performance, and then assumes that's about it. On the other hand, Volvo and VW tend to emphasize Practicality and Performance, but Aesthetics take a pretty big hit on a comparative basis and can be comparatively less comfortable.
I don't know if I'd consider Mercedes to be without performance: Pagani afterall uses Mercedes engines. However I personally have always considered them something of a blunt instrument: fast, but less pointy than a BMW with their emphasis on going fast comfortably.


El Conservatore wrote:Teaching your Cyborg to Drive:
Seems like a good plan to me. The general thought I have is that having two drivers is better than one, because it enhances operational flexibility. Furthermore, decreased reaction time and, eventually, higher control fidelity from a cyborg imply better driving skills, should the need arise.

In fact, it seems likely that if we're driving away from an enemy chase, my cyborg would drive while I returned fire. Cyborg would be able to dodge traffic and maintain a more stable firing platform than a mere human.
I sometimes wonder if the cyborg really would be the better driver: yes they have the physical advantages and reaction time, but the girls will always be behind in one major respect: experience. So while they can react faster to a changing situation, they haven't had the time to learn what to expect on the road.

Just a thought.

Presumption of practice on my part. Theoretically, I'd plug my cyborg into a Matrix-type simulator and run them through it as many times as possible.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Sat 16 Feb 2013 - 2:00

El Conservatore wrote:Presumption of practice on my part. Theoretically, I'd plug my cyborg into a Matrix-type simulator and run them through it as many times as possible.
And here I believe our views on what the SWA can and cannot achieve may diverge... Razz

And of course no simulation can quite reproduce the human stupidity factor.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sat 16 Feb 2013 - 2:18

@Alfisti wrote:
El Conservatore wrote:Presumption of practice on my part. Theoretically, I'd plug my cyborg into a Matrix-type simulator and run them through it as many times as possible.
And here I believe our views on what the SWA can and cannot achieve may diverge... Razz

And of course no simulation can quite reproduce the human stupidity factor.

Mostly humor on my part, not gonna lie. I think, though, that the ability for your cyborg to go "Fuck, my handler's hit, I should exfil ASAP" and be able to do so in the car, which can go pretty damn fast, is a good thing, so yeah.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 16 Feb 2013 - 14:29

El Conservatore wrote:Mostly humor on my part, not gonna lie. I think, though, that the ability for your cyborg to go "Fuck, my handler's hit, I should exfil ASAP" and be able to do so in the car, which can go pretty damn fast, is a good thing, so yeah.

That was part of Michele's thinking.


If I was going to go BMW, I'd choose the Z4 M roadster. It's better looking, more powerful and more luxurious than Jose's Porsche Boxster, even if it is also an absolute handful to drive in comparison.

But then, that is what Kara is for. Wink

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 18:16

@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:Top Gear UK will be testing it this Sunday (along with the Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR)...

EVO magazine did the same group test a few issues back when the VXR had just come out, and the verdict was that the Megane was still on top while the Focus was the most old-school entertaining.

To be honest I'll take EVO's opinion over Top Gear's.

The verdict was the Megane was the best track car, but not so good on normal roads.

So that's the one Allison will take. Smile

As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 19:10

@Kiskaloo wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:Top Gear UK will be testing it this Sunday (along with the Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR)...

EVO magazine did the same group test a few issues back when the VXR had just come out, and the verdict was that the Megane was still on top while the Focus was the most old-school entertaining.

To be honest I'll take EVO's opinion over Top Gear's.

The verdict was the Megane was the best track car, but not so good on normal roads.

So that's the one Allison will take. Smile

As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.

How'd it do on performance? Also, any idea if Top Gear is available in the US on BBC America or whatever it is?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 19:29

@Kiskaloo wrote:
As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.
But aren't hot-hatches kinda prole cars? What's Michelle's background? You might consider Alfisti's original suggestion of the Golf R for someone of a higher station. It's certainly the only near classless car in that market.
El Conservatore wrote:
How'd it do on performance? Also, any idea if Top Gear is available in the US on BBC America or whatever it is?
Megane was slowest in a straight line, fastest on the test track. Astra finished 2nd in both.

Yeah BBC America for the old episodes. If you want the new ones the only choice is Final Gear.


Last edited by Hamster on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 20:14; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : sp)
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 20:27

@Hamster wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:
As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.
But aren't hot-hatches kinda prole cars? What's Michelle's background? You might consider Alfisti's original suggestion of the Golf R for someone of a higher station. It's certainly the only near classless car in that market.
El Conservatore wrote:
How'd it do on performance? Also, any idea if Top Gear is available in the US on BBC America or whatever it is?
Megane was slowest in a straight line, fastest on the test track. Astra finished 2nd in both.

Yeah BBC America for the old episodes. If you want the new ones the only choice is Final Gear.

I don't think I get Final Gear.... D:

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 20:35

Should have made that more clear. finalgear.com
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 20:56

El Conservatore wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:Top Gear UK will be testing it this Sunday (along with the Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR)...

EVO magazine did the same group test a few issues back when the VXR had just come out, and the verdict was that the Megane was still on top while the Focus was the most old-school entertaining.

To be honest I'll take EVO's opinion over Top Gear's.

The verdict was the Megane was the best track car, but not so good on normal roads.

So that's the one Allison will take. Smile

As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.

How'd it do on performance? Also, any idea if Top Gear is available in the US on BBC America or whatever it is?

They've scheduled it so that we're only 1 week behind from the UK broadcast of TG, so you'll see this week's new episode next week.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 21:02

@Hamster wrote:Should have made that more clear. finalgear.com

@MP5 wrote:They've scheduled it so that we're only 1 week behind from the UK broadcast of TG, so you'll see this week's new episode next week.



OH YEAH!!! head bang

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sun 17 Feb 2013 - 21:20

@Hamster wrote:
@Kiskaloo wrote:As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.
But aren't hot-hatches kinda prole cars? What's Michelle's background? You might consider Alfisti's original suggestion of the Golf R for someone of a higher station. It's certainly the only near classless car in that market.

Michele is worth a mint, so yes he would not be in the market for a hot hatch. Smile However, this is the car I would buy if a handler and I am guessing that while the SWA pays well, they don't pay so well I can afford Ferraris and Lamborghinis. Smile

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 19 Feb 2013 - 8:10

@Kiskaloo wrote:The verdict was the Megane was the best track car, but not so good on normal roads.

So that's the one Allison will take. Smile

As for myself, I'm with Jezza - make mine the Astra. Best-looking outside and in and it uses mechanical engineering as opposed to the electrical engineering of the Ford for handling.
Haven't watched the episode yet, probably this weekend. I'll be interested to see what the three stooges have to say... because I know Evo put the VXR down as (from memory) good, but not quite managing to nail anything. That said, they're running one as a long termer right now and it seems to be doing quite well.

@Hamster wrote:Megane was slowest in a straight line, fastest on the test track. Astra finished 2nd in both.

Yeah BBC America for the old episodes. If you want the new ones the only choice is Final Gear.
@Kiskaloo wrote:Michele is worth a mint, so yes he would not be in the market for a hot hatch. Smile However, this is the car I would buy if a handler and I am guessing that while the SWA pays well, they don't pay so well I can afford Ferraris and Lamborghinis. Smile
Well, considering what some of the canon handlers seem to get around in they can't be paying too bad. Jean and Jose seem to come from a resonably wealthy family anyway, but Hilshire's getting around in an E-class estate (though I guessing not one of the really powerful ones) so they can't be doing too badly. But agreed: the super-luxury stuff probably isn't going to be covered.

As I said before: I figure the SWA will support you vehicle wise up to a point and anything after that is your own problem.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Robert Frazer on Tue 19 Feb 2013 - 22:48

If I was to be a handler, I'd want a heavy, durable car that I know could withstand a bit of a battering. Of course the SWA's subsidy isn't going to pay for a presidential armoured limosine, but if I was ever in a situation where, say, an enemy car pulled across me to block the road I would need to be able to shunt it out of the way and make my escape without wrecking my own vehicle. Something like a Ford 500 or an Acura RL (both of which scored near-perfect marks on impact tests from my research), maybe?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Wed 20 Feb 2013 - 5:29

@Robert Frazer wrote:If I was to be a handler, I'd want a heavy, durable car that I know could withstand a bit of a battering. Of course the SWA's subsidy isn't going to pay for a presidential armoured limosine, but if I was ever in a situation where, say, an enemy car pulled across me to block the road I would need to be able to shunt it out of the way and make my escape without wrecking my own vehicle. Something like a Ford 500 or an Acura RL (both of which scored near-perfect marks on impact tests from my research), maybe?
Possibly.... though I think you may find those crash tests are based on the car's ability to protect its occupants by absorbing impact and channeling it around the passenger cell (and more recently: how friendly they are to pedestrians). It's not actually a measure of the ability of the car itself to survive a crash. If you want to go ramming roadblocks then more suitable would be perhaps a Land Rover Defender or 70 series Landcruiser... something with a ladder-frame chassis built out of steel girders and a crumple zone consisting of whatever it happens to hit. Razz Notably both score really badly in crash testing.


On a completely different note, since people were talking about project cars:


Actually something I just really want anyway, but the Montreal would be the perfect project car: because its gorgeous but is considered unreliable even by Alfa Romeo standards and as such would never, ever work.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Wed 20 Feb 2013 - 10:20

If you really want to start ramming people you'll need a stout bull-bar to protect the radiator and tires. These are very difficult to install on any vehicle with a monocoque. As Alfisti said you need a frame.
The Defender and Land Cruiser are good choices. A couple other options would be the Nissan Patrol and Mercedes G class. Big bonus to the G is that it can be armored straight from the factory. The package also includes up rated engines, tires, brakes, suspension, cooling etc.

---

Wasn't familiar with the Montreal. Beautiful car.

@Alfisti wrote:considered unreliable even by Alfa Romeo standards
Mother of God.
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Thu 21 Feb 2013 - 5:57

@Hamster wrote:If you really want to start ramming people you'll need a stout bull-bar to protect the radiator and tires. These are very difficult to install on any vehicle with a monocoque. As Alfisti said you need a frame.
The Defender and Land Cruiser are good choices. A couple other options would be the Nissan Patrol and Mercedes G class. Big bonus to the G is that it can be armored straight from the factory. The package also includes up rated engines, tires, brakes, suspension, cooling etc.
The Land Rover Discovery also fits into this category of still having a ladder chassis as well; and can also be had off the shelf with armour (though, like the G-wagen, it makes it expensive and probably out of a normal handler's budget). Fortunately 4WD shops generally stock bullbars which will fit to most popular 4X4s, and I know in Australia at least they can be purchased for things like Falcons and Commodores... hell, I've even seen a Alfa Giulietta (not the current model, the one which shares a floorplan with the Alfetta GTV) wearing one: difficult, but not impossible.


@Hamster wrote:Wasn't familiar with the Montreal. Beautiful car.

@Alfisti wrote:considered unreliable even by Alfa Romeo standards
Mother of God.
Yeah... the Montreal is the car where all the Alfa enthusiasts look at the bloke who's just bought one and go: "wow, you're brave".

I want one very badly. Razz

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Wingdking on Thu 21 Feb 2013 - 15:23

If I was to use a car for ramming I would want a ford falcon or a old Toyota helix and turn it into a technical with a .50 in the back and have my cyborg shooting as I drove
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Thu 21 Feb 2013 - 22:46

@Wingdking wrote:If I was to use a car for ramming I would want a ford falcon or a old Toyota helix and turn it into a technical with a .50 in the back and have my cyborg shooting as I drove
Hey why not, it seems to work in Mogadishu. Coolz

@Alfisti wrote:The Land Rover Discovery also fits into this category of still having a ladder chassis as well; and can also be had off the shelf with armour (though, like the G-wagen, it makes it expensive and probably out of a normal handler's budget).
Noting that scene where Angelica riddles Franca with bullets through her windshield, some agency provided armor might be a wise investment. Lose the handler and you lose the cyborg right? New fratellos can't be cheap.
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 22 Feb 2013 - 4:57

@Hamster wrote:
@Alfisti wrote:The Land Rover Discovery also fits into this category of still having a ladder chassis as well; and can also be had off the shelf with armour (though, like the G-wagen, it makes it expensive and probably out of a normal handler's budget).
Noting that scene where Angelica riddles Franca with bullets through her windshield, some agency provided armor might be a wise investment. Lose the handler and you lose the cyborg right? New fratellos can't be cheap.
Probably...

...that said, I think how you approach this really depends on how you view/portray the SWA, and I think it'd be safe to say that no two people on the forum hold the same view. Personally I like to avoid such things (at least for the "good guys"... in-so-far as GSG has any), simply because I feel it makes for a more interesting story if they don't have any. I guess at the end of the day it depends on where the SWA wants to throw its budget at development or at private vehicles.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by MP5 on Wed 27 Feb 2013 - 1:08

@Alfisti wrote:
On a completely different note, since people were talking about project cars:


Actually something I just really want anyway, but the Montreal would be the perfect project car: because its gorgeous but is considered unreliable even by Alfa Romeo standards and as such would never, ever work.

Fulvia and I will gladly help you out with this if you help us with out Alfetta.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Thescarredman on Sun 3 Mar 2013 - 11:23

@Alfisti wrote:
@Robert Frazer wrote:If I was to be a handler, I'd want a heavy, durable car that I know could withstand a bit of a battering. Of course the SWA's subsidy isn't going to pay for a presidential armoured limosine, but if I was ever in a situation where, say, an enemy car pulled across me to block the road I would need to be able to shunt it out of the way and make my escape without wrecking my own vehicle. Something like a Ford 500 or an Acura RL (both of which scored near-perfect marks on impact tests from my research), maybe?
Possibly.... though I think you may find those crash tests are based on the car's ability to protect its occupants by absorbing impact and channeling it around the passenger cell (and more recently: how friendly they are to pedestrians). It's not actually a measure of the ability of the car itself to survive a crash. If you want to go ramming roadblocks then more suitable would be perhaps a Land Rover Defender or 70 series Landcruiser... something with a ladder-frame chassis built out of steel girders and a crumple zone consisting of whatever it happens to hit. Razz Notably both score really badly in crash testing.

My father used to make a good bit of money on the side repairing and selling wrecked cars back in the 60's and 70's: no belts or bags, bench seats, unpadded steel dashes, steering columns that were spears pointed at the drivers' chests - along with frames as sturdy as suspension bridges and sheet metal thicker than most modern bumpers. He often boasted that he'd driven cars straight home from the salvage yard that people had died in, after mopping the blood off the seats and glass.



I don't have much knowledge of European cars or European driving conditions; you have to look hard in the US to find a route from Point A to Point B that's seriously challenging. But if I were to find self and cyborg stationed in the States, my choice would be clear:

Dodge Charger SRT8.



While certainly no supercar, the Charger is capable of delivering decent handling and performance, and does a number of things rather well. A telling fact is that it's a favorite fleet purchase of police agencies in this country; I imagine cops and fratelli have many of the same requirements of their rides. It's fairly roomy, even in the back seats, and comes standard with a rather plain interior that should be easy to clean if you get into it... messy.

[img]http://gunslinger-girl.up-with.com/[/img]

It has a lockable trunk, which I think is a must for someone possibly transporting cybernetic body parts, exotic pharmaceuticals, or military-grade arms - rolling one of those window shades over the top of your hatchback's cargo compartment is just advertising that there's something under there worth stealing.

Finally, the Charger is ubiquitous. There are a million of them on the road, which means you'll be difficult to identify or stick a pin in when you're in the field and on the job. Pick white, black, or silver, and you can stand on a street corner and watch half a dozen each go by in five minutes.

And that's how I'd start my automotive shopping research if I was hired into Section Two as a handler: go out on the street and start looking at cars. Try to identify the ten most common types, paying special attention to police vehicles, and apply my requirement criteria to those vehicles to narrow the field until I was down to a couple choices, then go for test drives - with my 'borg.
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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Tue 5 Mar 2013 - 6:44

@Thescarredman wrote:It has a lockable trunk, which I think is a must for someone possibly transporting cybernetic body parts, exotic pharmaceuticals, or military-grade arms - rolling one of those window shades over the top of your hatchback's cargo compartment is just advertising that there's something under there worth stealing.
More an estate issue than hatchbacks (theirs are usually a permanent fixture), but agreed regrds the rolling covers. As much as love estates, I've never understood the cover; and once it's across you're restricted to something about the size of a saloon's boot space anyway so...


@Thescarredman wrote:And that's how I'd start my automotive shopping research if I was hired into Section Two as a handler: go out on the street and start looking at cars. Try to identify the ten most common types, paying special attention to police vehicles, and apply my requirement criteria to those vehicles to narrow the field until I was down to a couple choices, then go for test drives - with my 'borg.
For the record, I believe the standard police saloon right now in Italy is the Alfa Romeo 159... which usefully comes in a hot V6, AWD version.


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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Thescarredman on Tue 5 Mar 2013 - 19:37

Tasty.
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Thescarredman

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Comments : .
Mario Bossi would make a better handler than Marco Toni. Come to think of it, so would Christiano.
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Elizaveta didn't jump - she was pushed.
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Sofia was pregnant. It would have been a boy.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Hamster on Tue 5 Mar 2013 - 23:49

Alfa family sedans and hatches have more style than 90% of other company's sports cars.



Side note for those interested in architecture. The photo above was taken at Ciudad De Las Ciencias in Valencia, Spain.





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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Wed 6 Mar 2013 - 4:13

@Hamster wrote:Side note for those interested in architecture. The photo above was taken at Ciudad De Las Ciencias in Valencia, Spain.
Considering the Spanish history of letting Gaudi design things... not really suprised.

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Alfisti

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Fri 8 Mar 2013 - 5:43

@MP5 wrote:Fulvia and I will gladly help you out with this if you help us with out Alfetta.
As long as it's the four I can help... the six I'd be a bit lost. Razz That has fuel injection: which as far as I'm concerned is some sort of dark sourcery.

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Alfisti

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 9 Mar 2013 - 15:52

For those considering the Hot Hatch route, Fifth Gear this week grabbed WRC driver and IRC Champion Chris Meek and used him to test the Golf GTI, RenaultSport Megane 265 Cup, Ford Focus ST and Vauxhall Astra VXR at Rockingham Raceway in three criteria: agility, high-speed handling and a lap of the infield circuit.

The Megane was declared to be "The Hottest Hatch" and they agreed with Top Gear that the Megane was the best track car. But also as with Top Gear, they felt the Astra was more comfortable and had better high-speed handling, even if it fell just short of the Megane on the track.


For those looking for insane performance, but also a bit more practicality, they also tested the new Audi RS4 - which is now only available as an estate. And yes, they liked it. Smile

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Awinnell on Sat 9 Mar 2013 - 17:30

[youtube][/youtube]
power is nothing without handling

the driver survived,the car, not so much

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Sat 9 Mar 2013 - 17:50

@Awinnell wrote:power is nothing without handling...

The GTS Viper is the handling model (it was designed for track use). Razz

Seriously, yet another case of the driver not being up to the car.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Sat 9 Mar 2013 - 18:52

@Kiskaloo wrote:For those looking for insane performance, but also a bit more practicality, they also tested the new Audi RS4 - which is now only available as an estate. And yes, they liked it. Smile
No, Alfisti the handler should never be allowed a hot Audi...



...I actually prefer the Cortina, but still.

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Alfisti

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Thescarredman on Sun 10 Mar 2013 - 8:00

But who'd risk the front end of a Cortina on that schmuck?
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Thescarredman

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Fan of : Rico, Bice

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Comments : .
Mario Bossi would make a better handler than Marco Toni. Come to think of it, so would Christiano.
.
Elizaveta didn't jump - she was pushed.
.
Sofia was pregnant. It would have been a boy.

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Sun 10 Mar 2013 - 8:16

@Thescarredman wrote:But who'd risk the front end of a Cortina on that schmuck?
"Gene Hunt, your DCI and it's 1973, almost supper time... I'm 'avin 'oops"...



...that's who.

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Alfisti

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Alfisti on Mon 11 Mar 2013 - 17:03

@Kiskaloo wrote:For those looking for insane performance, but also a bit more practicality, they also tested the new Audi RS4 - which is now only available as an estate. And yes, they liked it. Smile
Though I get the feeling handler wanting a new RS4 may be needing to spend a fair chunk of their own money along with the Agency's. Wink

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Il Direttore on Fri 15 Mar 2013 - 11:20

So actually, I was kinda curious:

Touring Cars are kinda excellent. A lot of them are, in fact, the sexiest things you can drive (Aston Martin DB9, Mercedes McLaren SLR, etc.). They also go up to 200 mph.

Yet the purpose of a touring car is to drive across Europe while ensuring that your buttocks are comfortable the whole way, and the only stops you make are to either fuel up or to go to the bathroom. So why not make a car that is super-comfortable, only goes up to 150 miles per hour, and is super economical?

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Re: If you became a handler...

Post by Kiskaloo on Fri 15 Mar 2013 - 19:44

El Conservatore wrote:So actually, I was kinda curious:

Touring Cars are kinda excellent. A lot of them are, in fact, the sexiest things you can drive (Aston Martin DB9, Mercedes McLaren SLR, etc.). They also go up to 200 mph.

Yet the purpose of a touring car is to drive across Europe while ensuring that your buttocks are comfortable the whole way, and the only stops you make are to either fuel up or to go to the bathroom. So why not make a car that is super-comfortable, only goes up to 150 miles per hour, and is super economical?

Well there have been economical Grand Tourers - the Subaru SVX and the Alfa Romeo Brera both had four-bangers. But high performance and status are parts of the equation and that means horsepower which means a large-dosplacement V8 or V12.


Last edited by Kiskaloo on Fri 15 Mar 2013 - 20:18; edited 1 time in total

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Re: If you became a handler...

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