Lyndist Writings

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Lyndist Writings

Post by Lyndist on Mon 16 Jan 2017 - 11:21

Teaser 

"It doesn't take the most powerful nations on Earth to create the next global conflict. Just the will of a single man." 



Rome is burning ... Rome was burning in front of me, right now . The fire lit the night sky , illuminating the great works of the city. The most prominent of which is the Great Colosseum . It looks like a giant furnace , or an inferno from the old Renaissance tale , or both . Flames welled in the aisles and smoke spilled from the doorway , bring the soul of the dead through the afterlife .They're burning the dead, and the dying, at that place . Along the streets, gunfire rang out everywhere and screams are carried by the wind into the doorway, creating a ghostly song of death and chaos . 


Roma , the oldest and greatest city in human history , once called the Eternal City , has become the City of the Dead and Dying . And I'm in the middle of it , looking at it and swallow it whole . Because tomorrow , when the sun rises , I will become a part of it.







Here you go, a starting script. Have you found it interesting?
I have planned out the next two chapters but hasn't started writing yet. I don't want to start writing before getting confirmation that the story and style is indeed worth writing more with. Thank you for reading.


Last edited by Lyndist on Tue 17 Jan 2017 - 11:36; edited 2 times in total

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Lyndist

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Re: Lyndist Writings

Post by Thescarredman on Mon 16 Jan 2017 - 20:18

Attention-grabbing first few paragraphs, Lyndist. Keep an eye on tense continuity, and you're golden.

Nice illustration as well.

How soon will the cyborgs enter the fray, do you think?
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Re: Lyndist Writings

Post by Lyndist on Tue 17 Jan 2017 - 11:27

edit


Last edited by Lyndist on Wed 31 May 2017 - 6:43; edited 4 times in total

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"Your world as you knew it is gone. How far would you go to bring it back? "
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Lyndist

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Re: Lyndist Writings

Post by Thescarredman on Tue 17 Jan 2017 - 13:55

Poor guy. Hopefully Colonel Duong doesn't speak Italian. Wink

Again, Lyndist, I suggest you keep a close eye on your tenses to avoid mixing past events in your narrative with current ones. Aside from that - carry on!
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Thescarredman

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Forum Posts : 1820

Location : Toledo, Ohio, United States

Fan of : Rico, Bice

Original Characters : Kristal & Verotrois / Doc; Angel / Jack Keaton; Tiffany/Stefan

Comments : .
Mario Bossi would make a better handler than Marco Toni. Come to think of it, so would Christiano.
.
Elizaveta didn't jump - she was pushed.
.
Sofia was pregnant. It would have been a boy.

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Your character
OC genger: 40

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Re: Lyndist Writings

Post by Lyndist on Wed 18 Jan 2017 - 0:55

@Thescarredman wrote:Poor guy. Hopefully Colonel Duong doesn't speak Italian. Wink

Again, Lyndist, I suggest you keep a close eye on your tenses to avoid mixing past events in your narrative with current ones. Aside from that - carry on!
Thank you for advice . I'll rewrite it later and I hope you can help me fix it , as a proofreader . What do you think ?

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