Panzer IV's fanfics.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sat 16 Aug 2008 - 6:03

yep, working on it!

Hopefully, next week Friday or earlier if possible.


Next chapter probably more into a play of emotions for the next chapter. Triela would wonder about Rachel's word, whether they (the operatives) deserve to choose. Rachel on the other hand, would be undergoing a rush of emotions from her encounter too.

Expect the arrival of the third team: Laine, Petrushka, Anica, etc.

^^

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Tue 19 Aug 2008 - 3:05

Ok, I'm still working on the next chapter (which means I'm not done...yet) but am in the midst of confusion on who's who OCs (I know Muffin, Mina, Rachel, and Luke) and have constant trouble trying to check things.

So, just to ease readers (and myself when writing) I decided to put the OCs involved in the fic here and their respective authors.

Here goes:

-Frederick H. Koch : Panzer IV (mine)
-Gewehr Hess/Vato Falman : Panzer IV (mine)
-Anna Rutherford/Klaus Falman : Panzer IV (mine)
-Luke/Ehud Barrohk : Colonel Marksman
-Sophia/Wesley Scerio : West Nile
-Mina/Brandon Letuthio : West Nile
-Anica/Andrew Sontino : West Nile
-Muffin/Matthew West : Whatface
-Rachel/Fernando : ElfenMagix
-Rebecca/Megumi Sagara : Sasahara17 (I might need to reference FMP clash here...unless I mask the handler, which would ruin the plot -_-)
-Adrianna/Antonio : Probit Return
-Nero/Wendy Proietti : Probit Return
-Laine/Clayland Stanaway : rusty-spring
-Savyna/(not yet confirmed) : Triela (no, not Triela Hartmann)

...and I think that's all!

Oh wow what a list...but yeah, expect them to be encountering Triela in possibly CQC combat and gunfights with each other when sides appear :p

Of course, I'm not spoiling who takes who's side. Participating OC's authors have the right to know, of course^^

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by ElfenMagix on Tue 19 Aug 2008 - 21:40

Now That's A List!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Wed 20 Aug 2008 - 3:32

You havent replied to my PM. Or was my idea too lame?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 20 Aug 2008 - 8:44

The Muffin's idea one?

Oh ho ho! Don't worry!

You actually have a near-similar plan as I am^^

The difference is, I don't know how to execute it--you solved it!
Care to see Muffin vs Triela after 'the plan' is executed?^^

There's of course one individual who would get involved really deep. Of course its a secret for now, right? When the time is right, things will really-really go chaotic Razz

Right now I'll be focusing on Chapter 9--no combat yet. Chapter 10 works similarly, but will introduce the next battle, in chapter 11, against...now I wouldn't go that far on spoiling, would it? Another character from the GSG universe (non-OC) will be involved in Chapter 9 and would create significant trouble--for Triela.

Well, that's how far I'll spoil for now^^

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Wed 20 Aug 2008 - 23:01

So you was going to do something like that!

Uhh, I solved something? What did I solve?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by ElfenMagix on Wed 20 Aug 2008 - 23:59

Panzer IV wrote:Another character from the GSG universe (non-OC) will be involved in Chapter 9 and would create significant trouble--for Triela.

Well, that's how far I'll spoil for now^^
Only character that can do that is Triela's Bear- Caligula...

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Thu 21 Aug 2008 - 2:29

Uhh, I solved something? What did I solve?

I was thinking the same way on how to lure Triela out, but I don't know how to. At that, I am still wondering who will do that other than Sophia--and Sophia doesn't even know where Triela is until she is fully revealed (using the bait idea) THEN the...oh wait, spoiler2...

Frederick would follow the Agency, but in his terms would never try to involve innocents into the battle (e.g. hostages and such) due to his past. Muffin plans it out solves one thing, and eventually I have an idea how to make him agrees and supports the plan Wink

THAT is where the *said character* come to play. No, its not Caligula. It'll be someone you least expect would ruin Triela's life. Oh, I can ramble all day about future chapter but that wouldn't get this fic going anywhere :p

I'll finish it ASAP. ETA, Saturday or Sunday.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Thu 21 Aug 2008 - 3:02

Panzer IV wrote:I was thinking the same way on how to lure Triela out, but I don't know how to.
Wasn't it obvious though?

Panzer IV wrote:At that, I am still wondering who will do that other than Sophia--and Sophia doesn't even know where Triela is until she is fully revealed (using the bait idea) THEN the...oh wait, spoiler2...
Muffin would gladly do it Very Happy

Panzer IV wrote:but in his terms would never try to involve innocents into the battle (e.g. hostages and such) due to his past.
Then he would be the opposite of Muffin.

Panzer IV wrote:Muffin plans it out solves one thing, and eventually I have an idea how to make him agrees and supports the plan Wink
Nekkid Triela pics? A whack to the balls?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by West Nile on Thu 21 Aug 2008 - 3:11

Panzer IV wrote:At that, I am still wondering who will do that other than Sophia--and Sophia doesn't even know where Triela is until she is fully revealed (using the bait idea) THEN the...oh wait, spoiler2...

*stands up and starts jumping up and down like a father watching his daughter dance ballet on stage for the very 1st time* woohoo that's my girl!! That's my giiirrrrl!!!!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 21 Aug 2008 - 22:14

@Whatface wrote:
Panzer IV wrote:Muffin plans it out solves one thing, and eventually I have an idea how to make him agrees and supports the plan Wink
Nekkid Triela pics? A whack to the balls?
:lol!: Reminds me of an old joke...
(Putting characters into place)

Muffin (to Fredrick) : You got pictures of your girlfriend (Triela) naked?
Fredrick: Uhm... no...
Muffin (fans out a bunch of them like a deck of cards): Want To Buy Some?
:lol!:

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Fri 22 Aug 2008 - 2:31

AHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!!!! :lol!: :lol!:

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sun 24 Aug 2008 - 14:17

Alright, dead-line is up and so here I present:

The Detective's Daughter, Chapter 9

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4247663/10/The_Detectives_Daughter

Alright, if there are any changes necessary please do tell me and inform me! If the presentation of your OC is not to your liking, please do tell me and I'll edit it immediately.

Character accuracy is important, and I require your complete cooperation to make this a great fic^^ (Currently breaking the 1000th hit barrier, now on 1300-ish)

OCs featured on this chapter:
-Frederick H. Koch : Panzer IV (mine)
-Mina/Brandon Letuthio : West Nile
-Muffin/Matthew West : Whatface
-Rachel/Fernando : ElfenMagix
-Nero/Wendy Proietti : Probit Return
-Laine/Clayland Stanaway : rusty-spring

Arigatou!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by ElfenMagix on Sun 24 Aug 2008 - 21:43

It looks good. Keep up the work.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 29 Aug 2008 - 15:16

Alrighty, right on before dead-line.

The Detective's Daughter, Chapter 10

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4247663/11/The_Detectives_Daughter

This chapter will fill in some time-skip and serves as a medium before the very-very heavy and possibly depressing drama that will be coming (I did say this is not a 'happy fic'). There will be some surprise in the next chapter--pretty much shocking, hopefully^^

...and! It will also 'clear' why Frederick would hunt join the Agency later. Yep, people do change--they are, after all, human^^

OCs featured on this chapter:
-Frederick H. Koch : Panzer IV (mine)
-Anna Rutherford/Klaus Falman : Panzer IV (mine)
-Gewehr Hess/Vato Falman : Panzer IV (mine)
-Luke/Ehud : Colonel Marksman
-Sophia/Wesley : West Nile
-Mina/Brandon : West Nile
-Andrew/Anica : West Nile
-Laine/Clayland : rusty-spring
-Adrianna/Antonio : Probit Return
-Rebecca/Megumi : sasahara17
-Savyna/(unknown) : Triela

Once again, I thank you for all your cooperation! Without you guys, this fic wouldn't come true! v^_^v

Arigatou!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by ElfenMagix on Fri 29 Aug 2008 - 23:42

So far, so good.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sat 30 Aug 2008 - 9:44

Should I make a bonus chapter? I mean, like an Omake where are the light-hearted humor go before I move to the more darker and heart-aching ones.

Like an Omake chapter, so to say--just to prepare the audience before what's coming to them ^^

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Sat 30 Aug 2008 - 10:29

Me like dark, serious and violent stuffs!!!
But if you wanna do an Omake thing, then go ahead! You got my support.

I haven't read latest chapter so I cant comment on that. Kinda busy...

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sat 30 Aug 2008 - 10:37

I just thought about it *and attempted it*

...But I figure to scratch the idea instead -_-;
Somehow it just doesn't fit the entire story plot and I'm rather afraid of confusing the audiences^^;

So be prepared for what probably is the more depressing and shocking part in the fic!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sun 31 Aug 2008 - 2:20

@Whatface wrote:
Anyway... Great stuff! I'll be looking forward to your next chapter

My goodness, how cuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!!

...

Anyway, Panzer, I think you're posting chapters too quickly, too often. I'd stick to 1 chapter per 3-7 days, preferrably 6.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sun 31 Aug 2008 - 9:12

Yeah, I do think so too.

I post once a week, mostly. So every Saturday or Sunday to the least is when I post something--and that is if I did get something done^^;

Next chapter would be done around...ETA Thursday or Friday. Posting comes in Saturday or Sunday.

But yep^^
Muffin actually became one of my fav. OC. Its actually very-very fun to write about her and portray her, have her interact and stuff Laughing

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Mon 1 Sep 2008 - 6:32

...

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Mon 1 Sep 2008 - 10:19

Laughing

She is a very well developed character^^

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Mon 1 Sep 2008 - 15:40

Indeed. I gave her props in another forum, I didn't know if you saw it.

But I know what Muffin can say. *meeeow*

She can say, "ok!"

*Licks lips and offers Muffin potato chips*

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Mon 1 Sep 2008 - 22:02

@Colonel Marksman wrote:Indeed. I gave her props in another forum, I didn't know if you saw it.
Where?

@Colonel Marksman wrote:

But I know what Muffin can say. *meeeow*

She can say, "ok!"

*Licks lips and offers Muffin potato chips*
What... -.-

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Tue 2 Sep 2008 - 0:46

What... -.-
It was a bad (I mean really bad) joke. Natchsider said to refrain from now on.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 8:26

Ok, here it is:

Chapter 11 of The Detective's Daughter

While you're reading, I suggest you listen to Kuribayashi Minami's 'Namida no Riyuu' as it help with the atmosphere. The Italic lines were the translated lines of the song.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4247663/12/The_Detectives_Daughter

I have nothing else to say here.

OCs appearing in this chapter:
-Frederick H. Koch (Panzer IV)
-Roland Adler (Panzer IV)


Last edited by Panzer IV on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 14:25; edited 4 times in total

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 8:44

The link is wrong. It links to chapter 10.


edit:
Just read it while listening to the song.
Man it was fking beautiful LOL!
Song really helped, I was friggin smiling while reading it. Very Happy

Love this serious shit. Can't wait till they get PWNT.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 13:20

Woops!

Sankyuu What-san! Alright, NOW its fixed! Very Happy


Last edited by Panzer IV on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 14:25; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 14:20

Err... I'm sorry, but commentary on my editing would be appreciated...

As for the chapter: Too much love for me, especially at the moment, and Roland is too much like me. I even had to resist the urge to change him into someone less similar...

Don't worry, I managed to resist Smile

EDIT: GAH! Found some mistakes I hadn't corrected T_T

EDIT2: And more mistakes TT_TT. Sorry for them all, will re-do this chapter along with the others!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:03

Sevis wrote:Err... I'm sorry, but commentary on my editing would be appreciated...

As for the chapter: Too much love for me, especially at the moment, and Roland is too much like me. I even had to resist the urge to change him into someone less similar...

Don't worry, I managed to resist Smile

EDIT: GAH! Found some mistakes I hadn't corrected T_T

EDIT2: And more mistakes TT_TT. Sorry for them all, will re-do this chapter along with the others!
Roland is YOUR character?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:08

Nope, Roland is Panzer's, he's too much like the real-life me Razz

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:10

As for the chapter: Too much love for me, especially at the moment, and Roland is too much like me. I even had to resist the urge to change him into someone less similar...
Sevis wrote:Nope, Roland is Panzer's, he's too much like the real-life me Razz

... Ok... now I'm really confused...

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:14

I guess I somehow managed to portray someone else^^;

Roland is like you, Sevis-san? Interesting indeed... Laughing

In what way? I did try to portray Roland as 'normal as possible' as, in the OC page I just recently added him and explain some things.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:25

Oh, I meant while editing the grammar Smile

Yup, apart from him liking History while I perfere the sciences, Roland is very like me - especially in the moment where he keeps here there.

EDIT: Please don't call me -san... I'm two years younger than you Very Happy -kun should be far more correct, as far as I remember.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:52

Laughing

I would, but I prefer treating others in the same level rather than having a superiority of such^^;

This is an online board after all Very Happy

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 16:55

Isn't -kun 'friend'? I always thought -san meant something like 'senior' (not age-wise).

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 17:10

Oh no Sevi-san.

San is a honorific towards a friend signifying your respect towards the one you're addressing in an equal manner. Its a more formal way, so to say^^

'-sen' or a cut from 'senpai' is what I'll use most of the time, although '-san' works too. There's also '-dono' and '-sama', but that's to a greater level

'-kun' is what I'll call my 12 year old male cousin that, although it means that you're a friend of someone, it also signifies superiority (e.g. age) towards the person you're addressing. Although if you say it in school (with friends of the same age or year level), it means you're a good friend with him.

Girls also use it to signifies their closeness towards a male individual

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Fri 5 Sep 2008 - 17:35

Panzer IV wrote:Oh no Sevi-san.

San is a honorific towards a friend signifying your respect towards the one you're addressing in an equal manner. Its a more formal way, so to say^^

'-sen' or a cut from 'senpai' is what I'll use most of the time, although '-san' works too. There's also '-dono' and '-sama', but that's to a greater level

'-kun' is what I'll call my 12 year old male cousin that, although it means that you're a friend of someone, it also signifies superiority (e.g. age) towards the person you're addressing. Although if you say it in school (with friends of the same age or year level), it means you're a good friend with him.

Girls also use it to signifies their closeness towards a male individual

Aye, yiah, yeah! Boy howdy, I forgot the reasons why I was creating my own language! Anyway, you can type it well, how good are you at speaking English?

Also, I plan on taking a trip out to Japan sometime in the future: would you be willing to be my tourguide? I'll pay you, and come when you don't have school.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sat 6 Sep 2008 - 0:11

Panzer IV wrote:Oh no Sevi-san.

San is a honorific towards a friend signifying your respect towards the one you're addressing in an equal manner. Its a more formal way, so to say^^

'-sen' or a cut from 'senpai' is what I'll use most of the time, although '-san' works too. There's also '-dono' and '-sama', but that's to a greater level

'-kun' is what I'll call my 12 year old male cousin that, although it means that you're a friend of someone, it also signifies superiority (e.g. age) towards the person you're addressing. Although if you say it in school (with friends of the same age or year level), it means you're a good friend with him.

Girls also use it to signifies their closeness towards a male individual

Ah, in that case I was mislead Very Happy Thank you for the science, Panzer-san (Or is this the wrong form for me to use again? Smile) In any case, I've done the prologue, and will keep on working by the schedule.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sat 6 Sep 2008 - 2:30

Anyway, you can type it well, how good are you at speaking English?

When you've been drilled with the language since 5, its a second tongue to me v^^v

Also, I plan on taking a trip out to Japan
sometime in the future: would you be willing to be my tourguide? I'll
pay you, and come when you don't have school.

Where in particular? Tokyo?

But I doubt that's going to happen since I will be leaving around...March, April or so. To College in the US. If its around January and February, I'll be facing final exams x_x

Haaah...IB....when they say they want you to study 3 hours a day, they meant 9 x_x. I feel my life is disintegrating DX

Oh well... Very Happy

EDIT:

Oh! Almost forgot. There's a theory by our graduated senpais that the more you indulge yourself in IB, the more insane you became. I guess its true now that I am going this way 0_0

*returns to work on Lab Report*

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sat 6 Sep 2008 - 15:41

Where in particular? Tokyo?

But I doubt that's going to happen since I will be leaving around...March, April or so.
-- LOL. When I sell a few books, Panzer, and have the money to start traveling the world for inspiration. I'm going to see if I can't arrange a meeting with Yu Aida at that point, and I'll need a translator. ^^

To College in the US. If its around January and February, I'll be facing final exams x_x
In California? If so, ask for Sintendo. (But I'm warning you, he's a pretty big guy... I wouldn't tick him off before then...)

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 10 Sep 2008 - 13:14

After some chat, I figured that the number of OCs is too great--Nacht-sen and a few others agreed so too.

I decided to cut the number of OCs (for ease of writing and management, as well to ease story-flow). However, I'll put some in cameo:

Gomenne, minna m-.-m

Here's the list of the main OCs:

-Frederick H. Koch (Panzer IV)
-Luke/Ehud Barrohk (Colonel Marksman)
-Sophia/Wesley Scerio (West Nile)
-Muffin/Matthew West (Whatface)
-Rachel/Fernando (ElfenMagix)

Here are those who will make cameos (involve the plot, but not entirely)

-Gewehr Hess/Vato Falman : (Panzer IV) -Sophie's henchmen-
-Anna Rutherford/Klaus Falman : (Panzer IV) -Sophie's henchmen-
-Rebecca/Megumi Sagara : (Sasahara17) -Commissioner-
-Nero/Wendy Proietti : (Probit Return) -Ground Chief-


...and these are those that were cut:

-Savyna/(not yet confirmed) : (Triela)
-Anica/Andrew Sontino : (West Nile)
-Adrianna/Antonio : (Probit Return)
-Laine/Clayland Stanaway : (rusty-spring)
-Mina/Brandon Letuthio : (West Nile)

once again, gomenne minna m-.-m

I might re-vamp the fic. a little from the first to the last chapter, so next chapter will take a little longer...

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 10 Sep 2008 - 15:27

That's the spirit, Panzer.

The best way to incorporate a fic with a lot of OCs is a little at a time, in a group of chapters that aren't actually fully related.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 10 Sep 2008 - 19:14

Say, I didn't know where to post these pictures, but my father went out to Florance, Italy, and by chance was allowed to visit Berlin, Germany.
Spoiler:

I hope that serves to inspire you!

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Wed 10 Sep 2008 - 22:32

MINA CUT!??!?!?

Who the heck is Muffin gunna be paired with then?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Thu 11 Sep 2008 - 10:12

Muffin will be directly paired with Henrietta. I'm sorry, there's just too many and I think I can't incorporate all of them x_x

I feel the original casts took too little in this, so its time they should get going too.

Sophia will be paired with Rico, along with her two 'henchmen'

Now Claes would be paired with Rachel and Frederick.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Thu 11 Sep 2008 - 10:34

I understand...

For some reason I just find Mina saying "Big fluffy bed!" really cute.

I would have preferred for Muffin to be paired with Rico. Cause Rico has has that no-questions-asked soldier mentality/mindset, and Muffin loves that.

Doesn't matter though. Etta is fine.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by West Nile on Sun 14 Sep 2008 - 5:03

ow well, as long as Sophia stays, so the cut girls just disapear or do they "die" all at the sametime?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Sun 14 Sep 2008 - 9:06

unfortunately, West-san, I would be required to re-write the chapter where it introduces the OCs over again and limit them. Oh geez it'll be a long list but I guess it'll do.

...and maybe re-write some other stuff in the fic. But not currently as I am in a hellish situation right now x_x

Summer break didn't help...instead they gave us lots of summer homework to work on (that's a few months ago. I don't bother counting it right now). Moon viewing festivals released some of the stress (the dango is delicious!), but when I got home the demon drag me back to my study table and enslave me x_x

...then there's the small tests coming on Monday and Friday. Oh God I wish they'd let us up a bit...and I bet college or uni isn't any different DX

But yeah, I'll re-write some parts of the fic so it'll go in 'one flow'. Or I COULD put Mina in a cameo role (as the clean-up crew)...but that's still undecided. Maybe I will.

For now, Chapter 12 will be delayed by far x_x.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Sun 14 Sep 2008 - 9:46

and I bet college or uni isn't any different DX
That depends on the course/subjects that your doing.

Last semester for me was awesome. My buddy had heaps of exams cause he was doing some science course. But I didn't even have a single exam. I got tons of assignments though, but most of them I didn't mind because they were subjects that I enjoyed. This semester though... ERG! I hate the subjects!

Uni is more "free" I guess. No one really forces you to study or attend lectures, but that's you're problem if you stuff up. No one cares if you play games on your laptop or DS during a lecture. Plus, you only need to go if you have a class on the day. I currently have a 3 and a half day weekend Razz . There are tons of assignments and exams with little or no time in between though...

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 24 Sep 2008 - 14:28

Alright, some edit I've done so far.

Aside from giving hints on who's OC I'm pulling out of the story, who's making cameo-roles and what else, I've recently added some extra stuff in Chapter 8. One of which is Muffin's line to make her more serious. Another is more of a 'romance development' between Triela and Roland just to show how 'long' has it been going.

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 1 Oct 2008 - 1:54

OK, now that it took a little too long for update...


but anyway, here we are! Next chapter, prepare for the OC vs OC battle!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4247663/13/The_Detectives_Daughter

Oh! And if its not too bothersome, review in FF.net!! ^^v

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Wed 1 Oct 2008 - 2:39

rolls out with her saliva.
Yuck! Yuck!

*pictures soggy soggy chips*

Thats a bit gross!

Get rid of the saliva part and just say crumbs rolled out or something. Other than that, great!


But shouldn't you be updating the older chapters first??

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 1 Oct 2008 - 11:52

I know, I should^^;

I'll get to editing *again* and see what I can do :p

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Wed 29 Oct 2008 - 11:13

Finally after 2 weeks or so chapter 13 is done!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4247663/14/The_Detectives_Daughter

Now that I figured things around on what can and what cannot, I managed to add a 'break' for paragraphs v^^v

Next issue will involve the fight between Muffin and Triela so don't miss out! Very Happy

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Wed 29 Oct 2008 - 19:58

I still think you should fix up the previous chapters first.

I'll reply to your PM later. Gotta catch up on my gaming Razz


But as a quick fix. Instead of Muffin doing this:
“Ok, ok I get it!” Muffin shoves the barrel away. “Just don’t aim that thing around here—or at me!”

I would like for her to cock her G36C loudly in his face. As if to say, 'this is German engineered too!'

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Guest on Mon 3 Nov 2008 - 12:01

Alright, done and done!

Finally after sparing some time I finished editing all the chapters as well as adding line breaks!


I would like for her to cock her G36C loudly in his face. As if to say, 'this is German engineered too!'

Don't worry! That too is done Very Happy

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

Post by Whatface on Mon 3 Nov 2008 - 21:07

Panzer IV wrote:Alright, done and done!

Finally after sparing some time I finished editing all the chapters as well as adding line breaks!
But Mina and stuff are still there. I thought you were going to cut them?

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Re: Panzer IV's fanfics.

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