Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Tue 3 Jun 2008 - 13:37

Wonder how Pino would react to finding out that his irritating nemesis liked stuffed bears in the first place.

Pino (staring at all the bears in Triela's room): "She keeps stuffed bears? In retrospect, that's so cliche."

Don't forget the obvious outbursts: "Would you please explain where your superpowers come from? Radiation? Cosmic energy? Super-Soldier Serum? Yellow sun rays? Magic? Are you a bioengineered superbeing? Curiosity has been eating me these past few days. Tell me!"

Even more frenetically: "WHAT--IS--YOUR--NAME!!?"

Panzer IV wrote:You know? Pino could ACTUALLY be proud of something that he finally managed to complete during his free time (like knitting possibly?)

How about a writing job. I'm sure that Pinocchio would love it if he could come up with an improvement on the original script for the series.
Pinocchio knows that as long as this show has the girls billed as the nominal protaganists, his side will always be at a disadvantage. He thus sets out to retool the anime with himself as the star. The name has to go; Gunslinger Girl doesn't give the message he wants to send at all. He changes the title to Bladewielder Boy (yes I've been sitting on that name for a while). The tagline, "The girl has a mechanical body--however, she is still an adolescent girl" doesn't fit his new vision. "The story of a son's love for his uncle" works much better, and is quite catchy, he thinks, even if he knows that it should really be a nephew's love for his uncle or a son's love for his father.

Pino feels rather proud of his accomplishments, but the screenshots in the opening theme are decidedly slanted toward the girls. That's real easy to fix, just remove a some of them and replace the missing images with a few of his scenes. Definitely some Cristiano, too. It's criminal how his uncle was left out entirely in the original. Pino feels comfortable with the new opening images and is content with having an opening song that does its job, even if it can't match season one's theme.

Since this is a bizzare way of helping the Padanian cause, Cristiano agrees to give the art studio doing the animation a proper budget. Pino's show doesn't match the artistry of season one, but the weapons are given proper detail, the handlers are re-aged, and the girls are no longer moe. Henrietta and Rico throw themselves at Pino's feet in gratitude.

The new show proceeds exactly like the old one until episode 13. There, thanks to the fact that this time the Five Republics are the protaganists while the SWA are the sympathetic antagonists, things play out differently. Franco and Franca arrive almost a minute earlier and ambushall the personnel who have Cristiano. Since Rico's just being used by the bad guys, she survives, but since she killed that poor butler she is very badly wounded. Since Cristiano is bleeding heavily, Franca stays back with the car to guard him while Franco dashes inside the building to rescue Pinocchio.

Franco hides and shoots people, and he has a scene where he faces down Hillshire, brutally smashing his face in, to show that both sides are capable of atrocities, no one is completely in the right, etc.

Pinocchio and Triela's fight goes the same until the end, where Pino manages to shove the key all the way into Triela's brain as she stabs at his throat. Knocked off balance by Pino's hand, Triela scores his right shoulder instead, shattering it. Victorius but severely wounded, Pino begins to sink to the floor, just as Franco bursts in to the room. Franco tries to guide Pinocchio to safety but Pino shrugs him off and crouches down to retrieve his pendant from the now dead Triela, clasping it firmly in his hand (cue close-up to hand, and dramatic music). Pinocchio also grabs Triela's knife as an afterthought.

Franco and Pinocchio stagger out to Franca and their car, which is starting to come under seige from SWA officers. Franca forces the bad guys to back off with a bomb, and Franca, Franco, and Pinocchio pile in. Inside the car, Cristiano and Pinocchio look at eachother. Pinocchio is surprised and saddened to see Cristiano's bullet wound, while Cristiano's face betrays shock and deep dismay at Pino's injuries. After a moment, Cristiano's bows his head in grief.

The four of them get sniped at by Angie like they did in the original episode, and Franca is hurt, but Pinocchio wraps his hand around the dull part of the knife blade still buried in his body and yanks it out. Blood streaming from his arm, Pino leans out the window and sends the unbalanced blade through the air, hitting Angelica in the throat before she can mortally wound Franca. Franca gets their car over the blockade like in the original episode, and Marco looks at the stricken Angelica in horror. Priscilla shoots at the fleeing quartet, but doesn't hit them.

Franca manages to keep the car away from the bridge, and stops. Franco takes the three injured but alive Cristiano, Franca, and Pinocchio to a loyal Padanian doctor.

We see some scenes of the SWA's perspective on the aftermath of the foiled arrest. Grim agents, mourning friends, and so on. Our view the switches to Pino, Cristiano, and Franca in an improvised hospital belonging to loyal Padanians, with Franco looking by. Pino idly plays with Triela's knife before Cristiano says that he's going to go away for a time. Pino asks where the two of them are going, but Cristiano says that he needs to be by himself for a while. He tells Pinnochio that he wants him to have a life beyond his devotion to him, that in truth he was never worthy of that devotion. Pinnochio says that Cristiano is wrong, that he was worthy of it. Cristiano replies that he wants Pino to be his own person, and he promises to come back. They hug. Pinocchio asks Franca if he can stay with them for a while. Franca smiles and says he can. Cue credits.

Pinocchio wakes up again back at square one, but he's quite proud of the way he retooled the series into an anime starring him. He's dissapointed that he can't keep the script if he ever wants to get free, but a long-present weight lifts from his chest as he finally gets to be the good guy by designation as well as by implication. Triela, Hillshire, Priscilla, Marco, Angelica, and Jean are rather cheesed off by the way they got shafted, and are out for Pino's blood. (Rico was angry too, until Pino reminded her what her hair had been like before he fixed it. He tried to remind all the others how his show had repaired their appearance, but they were unmoved sinced they hadn't been as badly damaged. Pino did manage to appeal to Jean's familial side by whipping out a picture of Jose's canon season two hairdo. Jean refrained from attacking Pino out of gratitude.)

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Tue 3 Jun 2008 - 18:46

Awinnell wrote:Henrietta gets sent back in time and stuck in a time loop ,the time loop in question hovers over the time of Jose picking her to be his cyborg only she wasn't the original choice,and has to do everthing she can to ensure she is chosen by her beloved jose only without him ever finding out about it !
This is going to be soooo dark.

For one day, Henrietta we wheeling herself around in a broken body (missing limbs and an eye) trying to get a poor man make the worst decision of his life.

J the Drafter wrote:Don't
forget the obvious outbursts: "Would you please explain where your
superpowers come from? Radiation? Cosmic energy? Super-Soldier Serum?
Yellow sun rays? Magic? Are you a bioengineered superbeing? Curiosity
has been eating me these past few days. Tell me!"
Forgot about that. He'd probably flip out like this after losing to her several times (she runs him through with a flag pole, rides him like a surfboard down the stairs, Sho-Ryu-Ken's him into the ceiling...). I mean, after having died from finishing moves like those, who wouln't think Triela has super powers?

J the Drafter wrote:How about a writing job. I'm sure that Pinocchio would love it if he
could come up with an improvement on the original script for the series.
Pinocchio
knows that as long as this show has the girls billed as the nominal
protaganists, his side will always be at a disadvantage. He thus sets
out to retool the anime with himself as the star.
This sounds so familiar to me.

Hold a moment.

EDIT - Found it.

---

Underappreciated, No more!

Beatrice Strikes Back! Gunslinger Girl OVA turned on it's head

--

The
Beatrice the cyborg is not happy. To date, she's had only one chapter
of proper screen time, and barely a speaking role in it. Having taken a
look over into the Type Moon Universe and seen the awful fate that
befell Yumiduka Satsuki, Beatrice decided she's having none of that.

Thankfully,
the new re-imagining of the Gunslinger Girl series into a kickass OVA
is just around the corner, and they're gonna start the story all over
again right from the beginning.

Beatirce; CHANCE!

With
the help of her faithful Handler Bernado, Biccue is out to make sure
she appears in every episode, every scene, every possible frame of
animation she can in glorious high quiallity animation. Or she'll die
trying.

--

For more details, please see the Idea and Discussion thread page 7.

Pino, Franca and Franco should team up with Biccie. Together, they can steal the show and become the main characters.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Tue 3 Jun 2008 - 23:09

sasahara17 wrote:Pino, Franca and Franco should team up with Biccie. Together, they can steal the show and become the main characters.

Biccie thinks a show like that is a great idea, having always envied Triela for having an opponent as formidable and fleshed out as Pinocchio. Not only do characters like Pino make for great fight scenes, they also precipitate character development, a point, she knows, that she is lacking sorely in.

Pinnochio reluctantly concludes that he needs a new archnemesis, having killed off his last one. A necessary ending, to be sure; no one likes a pulled punch. Still, he's now short a worthy opponent, and action/adventure/drama series like his need quality fight scenes. Beatrice lacks Triela's sense of being a twisted opposite of him, unfortunately, but the alternate version thing is merely icing on the cake. Pinocchio knows that the role of worthy opponent demands charisma and depth of character, and he knows those are both qualities Beatrice is ready to prove she has.

Franco and Franca, who both want a show heavy on drama, still appreciate the need for good fighting. Besides, they want this arc to focus on the two of them investigating the Agency, and they know they need an Agency girl as an antagonist. They also know that Pino will provide a wonderful source of drama, and they need him around anyway, having agreed to it at the end of his show.

Despite their different specific wants they are all willing to accomodate the others' presence. There's just one problem, and it's a big one: what do they call their new series? Experience has taught that them that being the title characters influences survivability, and can determine who ends up happy at the end, and who ends up having a tragic death.

Pinocchio points out that since this show is continuing the story that occurred in Bladewielder Boy, it only makes sense that they keep his (spiffy, creative) name (duh).

Beatrice, Franco, and Franca all point out that they're a part of this too, and they would really prefer not to be relegated to well-developed side character status. Beatrice can't very well lobby to call the show Beatrice: CHANCE after that, so she tries to come up with a more inclusive title.

Franco suggests calling the show Ashen Days, while Franca wants to go with The Bitter Necessity. Both Beatrice and Pino wonder pointedly if perhaps those names are a little too suggestive of a series that's heavily drama oriented.

Beatrice brings up the title A Symphony of Frost and Flame, but says that she got it from Warcraft Three: The Frozen Throne, and they'll be looking at a lawsuit if they call their show that. Franca wants to know what that title has to do with their show, and Beatrice replies that she wanted something signifying struggle. They eventually decide on calling their anime Struggle Across a Porcelain Road, partly because it doesn't seem to favor any genre, partly because it doesn't favor any of the interested parties, and partly because they would all prefer to be making the episodes.

for their pilot episode, they hijack the plot of season one's episode three. Beatrice takes Rico's place, while Pinocchio assumes Emilio's position. In their version of the story, the scene where the bellhop meets the child assassin after she completed her hit turns into a fantastic dual wielding knife fight when the bellhop reveals that he too is an assassin, and that he was also tasked with killing the senator and his secretary. Their dramtic fight comes to a climax when the clean-up crew bursts onto the scene. In a nod to reality, they show up after two minutes, not the five or ten that Beatrice was in favor of. Since they only got the two minutes through compromise, the clean-up consists of a minature SWAT team. Franco and Franca, standing by in one of the empty hotel rooms, take out the clean-up crew through grenades and cell phone bombs. Franco, Franca, Pinocchio, and Beatrice all make it outside the now-burning building. Once the episode is finished, Franco and Franca respectfully ask Beatrice if next episode can be a little more down to earth, complex, and, well, less of a blatant ripoff. Beatrice explains that naturally it will be, and that she just always wanted to be in that hotel scene. She points out that the first episode won't indicate how the rest of the series will go. Pino chimes in at this point asking why she had to wear a maid's outfit at all. In the first, he says, Beatrice is clearly too young to work at the hotel. In the second place, she's a lot less conspicuous when she's wearing something appropriate for her age. Besides, she didn't even need to trick the secretary into thinking she was with room service; she simply broke the door down with her superstrength. Beatrice replies that Pino is right, and that perhaps she should have taken his points into account when she revised that episode. Franco announces that he's making the next episode's plot; it'll be about facing his family. Franca points out that they better hammer out a season arc while they still have time. Franco agrees that they'll let Pino create episode three (so that the focus doesn't stay on the two of them for twice in a row), and it will have hints of the story arc to come. Franca is more than pleased to have her spotlight episode kick off the main plot, and is busy brainstorming ideas for the hints episode three drops with Pinocchio. Provided they can keep their differences in check, all four of them know they are in for a wild ride. Best of all, as a spin off they don't have to worry about angering the rest of the cast by forcing them from the limelight. (Not including the highly irritated team of Rico and Meir, both of whom would have preferred not to see their introductory episode so shredded. Production might be alittle sporadic, as the production team of Struggle Across a Porcelain Road try to avoid being killed by the cyborgs they foolishly annoyed.)

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Wed 4 Jun 2008 - 0:12

Wow J, you are really hyped about this.

Want me to bump this over to a new thread so you can discuss this in detail? It's gone a bit farther than the usual 'Time Loop thing' no to mention broken the forth wall (Warcraft Lawsuits... lol!).

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Wed 4 Jun 2008 - 9:22

I'm probably not going to follow up on this, but who knows? It can't hurt, and I'd appreciate it. There might be other people who would like that thread, too.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Thu 5 Jun 2008 - 10:08

Thanks, sasahara17. I appreciate this.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Thu 5 Jun 2008 - 21:54

No worries!

Gimme some time, and I'll post some of my thoughts on this.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Sun 8 Jun 2008 - 7:43

Okay, just a few things I'd like to ask...

Point (1)
Given how some characters are attempting to 'Hijack' the story, I can't imagine the sitting stars will allow the limelight to be taken from them without some kind of a fight.
Triela's not the type of person to roll over and fade into obscurity (and since they're all technically 'actors', they can't really permenantly die).
I'd also imagine Jean could object to 'SWA' and 'antagonists' being in the same sentace. A war for the spotlight, that would be funny.

Point (2)
if the SWA cast's fury is one thing, the script writers fury is another. I can't imagine the people who wrote the original GSG script in this universe will be all to happy about their lovingly crafted plot being turned on it's head, set fire to then urinated on.
This reminds me of every bad D&D game session I've ever reaon about on a forum, where the DM tries his damest to make everything and the kitchen sink try and trip up the players. Remember Joey from 'Friends'? Remember what happened after he pissed off the scriptwriter for his show?

Point (3)
Where the hell is the boderline porn showerscene to grab the audience's attention? I'm sure Franca would attempt one if only to spite the SWA cast who want their show to reach a more accessable audience.

As you may notice, there are concepts I briefly touched on in the original ideas thread, but i just wanted to see what your take on these was.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Tue 17 Jun 2008 - 12:26

Franco, Franca, Pinocchio, Beatrice, and Bernardo were seated in an apartment room, trying to come up with the episode two.

"A holiday. My parents are calling me back for a holiday," Franco explained his idea for the episode. He continued. "I was thinking Christmas, but that seems a little cliche. Maybe we should try Channukah or something.

Franca interjected politely. "It's summer right now, Franco. Channukah and Christmas are winter holidays."

Beatrice spoke up. "In that case, maybe he's being called back for Yom Kippur."

"His family wanted him to observe a fast day with him?" Pinocchio asked, confused.

"Yom Kippur's a fast day?" Beatrice asked, surprised. Bernardo opened his mouth to respond. Franca, Franco, and Pinocchio all hurriedly cut him off, resulting in a loud, confused babble.

Bernardo interrupted them. "Yom Kippur is the Jewish Day of Atonement. In addition to fasting, Jews also abstain from wearing leather shoes, engaging in marital relations, and bathing and washing on that day...
...in shul, the congregation listens to the blowing of the Shofar...
...Yom Kippur also has a place in Christian and Muslim traditi--"

Franco's fist cracked Bernardo under the chin, knocking the talkative man unconsicous. Beatrice and Pino started at the sudden violence. Franca jerked awake at the sound of the punch, her head snapping up from the back of the chair she'd been sleeping on.

Beatrice recovered first.

"Thank you!
I have to put up with that all the time when I'm around him. Of course, I'm conditioned to like him, so I guess his character quirks don't bother me after all. On second thought, I'm independent and charismatic, so I have ownersip--ownership," Beatrice corrected herself, "over my thoughts, so I do think that Bernardo's habit going on and on with talk...ing," Beatrice trailed off as she realized everyone was staring at her. "Um, so anyway, no Yom Kippur, I guess?"

"Maybe the religous angle is the wrong tack," Franca suggested. "A wedding or somehing is much simpler for us to work with." Pinocchio shrugged and Beatrice's face lit up.

"I like that idea. So, we've got a pretext. Now we hammer out the boring drama part. Pino, Beatrice, since you don't like this part of the show you might as well find something else to do since this episode is going to be a heavy drama one, with no fighting scenes. Fighting scenes can come in Pino's episode, but this one is going to focus on our characters."

Beatrice looked like a kid in a candy store who'd loaded up her basket with junk food, walked to the check-out counter, paid for her merchandise, and, just before she could take her purchase, got teleported across the galaxy to be a foot soldier in a desperate, brutal war. Franco saw the look on her face and warned her,"Don't start, Beatrice. This is a highbrow show, not a mindless hack and slash."

"but, wait, but Franco," Beatrice contiued as Franco tried to cut her off,"think about it: A KIDNAPPED BRIDE! A DESPERATE QUEST! NOW, our heroes must save the day!"

Bernardo bolted upright from the blast of noise and jumped to his feet. "What did I miss? And Why do I have a headache?"

Beatrice answered his second query. "Oh, Franco punched you under the chin," she explained casually.

"Oh, well, I'm awake now. I was telling you about Yom Kippur, right? Where was I?" As Bernardo tried to remember where he left off, Franca, Franco and Pino frantically bolted for the door.

Beatrice stayed where she was, saying that "somebody needed to keep him copmany or he'd search for them as soon as he realized that no one else was in the room." Franca nodded her thanks, only for Beatrice to warn her that they'd take turns doing this job.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Tue 17 Jun 2008 - 18:20

Err... Big tower of text. Having difficulty reading it. Permission to edit post to make it more legible?

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Tue 17 Jun 2008 - 23:10

Sure. Sorry about the legibility. *Blushes*

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Wed 18 Jun 2008 - 0:32

Alrighty then!

Time to make this easy to read!

EDIT - Wow, that was wierd. So THESE the kind of people that rare trying to hiijack the show? Good luck to them then.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Thu 19 Jun 2008 - 22:03

Pino had excused himself to practice his knife-throwing, so that Franco and Franca could discuss Franco's drama driven episode in peace. The three of them were out in the countryside, Bernardo still talking his head off from last episode, and Beatrice heroically giving him someone to listen too.

The apartment building stood off to the side, being out in open farmland for the express purpose of giving main characters on the run a place to plot in secrecy and relative comfort.

"So, I haven't been on speaking terms with my family, though they like me and want to correct that," Franco explained.

"Do they know you're a terrorist, or is that your Dark Secret?" Franca asked. "It's important to get the big details out of the way. Knowing whether or not you're a terrorist will determine the course of the relationship."

"I was doing bomb-making work with my grandfather; my family would probably have known about that. Oh, you mean, 'they know I'm a terrorist now?'" Franco paused. "Yes, I kept them updated about my new profession. I din't cut all my ties with them."

While Franca and Franco contiued talking in such vein, Pinocchio threw knives at a mugshot of Triela. Each knife landed dead center in a strand of hair, giving Triela split ends and demonstrating how cool Pino is. His pendant glittered on his wrist, wrapped around it in the fashion Triela herself had used before she had met the fate of all sympathetic antagonists in tv shows where there's drama and graphic violence.

True, Franco had offered to have the pendant fixed, but Pinocchio decided to keep it like it was so that he could wear it the way Triela had, thereby driving home the parrallels and similarity the two had to eachother.

True, Triela was dead, but there were other cyborgs and wearing the pendant helped show how he was similar to him. It also demonstrated the way Pino still thought of Triela.

Pinocchio's cell phone rang, breaking his concentration and amking his next knife land right next to the strand of hair instead of dead-center in the middle of it.

"Hello?" Pinocchio growled into the phone, irritated at the interruption and annoyed that the ring had stopped him from throwing knives like a cool badass assassin.

"Hi. Pino it's...I was calling because...my name is..."

Pino stared at the phone. "Why did you pause?" He asked,impatience and curiosity in his voice.

"I'm trying to be as suspenseful as possible in regards to what my name is. I'm practicing my drama because I want to be on your show."

"Give it up Elsa, the cast is already is decided," Pino snapped.

"thanks a lot you douchebag. You set up this whole spinoff show because you felt you got shafted in canon, when not only did you get screentime equal or surpassing the girls, you went down fighting and recieved a cool death scene. And Triela returned your pendant and stood sadly over your body. If you can complain after all that, then I'm certainly entitled to recompense."

"...I thought it was cool when you shot yourself in the eye."

"Just call Biccie and tell her she could use a foil on her own side."

"Elsa, you died in season one. We aren't an AU, we're a spinoff. You're staying dead."

"Hey. Angie came back from the dead. Lauro and I would like come back as well."

Pinocchio hesitated.

"Besides, Rico and Meir have friends. Aarohn, Kathryn...and Kathryn has the authority to requisistion Childsville support staff. Lauro and I can help."

"Childsville will be bothered by the fact that Biccie ripped off episode three of season one?"

"You're terrorists. And clever as you were at hiding your trail, these people will trace you. Lauro can slow their efforts down, give you some time before you need to move. You don't have anything to lose."

"...I'll talk it over with the others."

Elsa hung up the phone and beamed at Lauro. "Pack your bags, sir we're in!"

"Where are we headed?"

"I don't know, because they still have to tell us that we made it."

Lauro sighed.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by West Nile on Thu 19 Jun 2008 - 22:11

woohoo!! ELSA!!

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Nachtsider on Thu 19 Jun 2008 - 22:23

And my characters, too!

This is awesome.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Thu 19 Jun 2008 - 22:59

Thanks, guys! Very Happy

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by sasahara17 on Fri 20 Jun 2008 - 1:36

More Elsa = always good.

And since we're on the topic of characters needing more screentime, Raballo and Marco's GF going to join this protest as well? Death and being dumped aside, I'm sure these two are dying to have their time in the spotlight (or at least Raballo is, Patricia might just want to have her fairytale marriagle and be done with it).

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Nachtsider on Fri 20 Jun 2008 - 4:21

I think Raballo just wants to save Claes, expose the evils of the SWA and be done with it. He doesn't strike me as being an attention whore.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Fri 20 Jun 2008 - 8:01

Some vast, overwhelmingly powerful masterminds prefer dark castles, towering shapes that shine with a tangible malevolence. Others favor soaring towers, places where the fabric of reality is poorly stitched, and prone to coming undone. This particular omnipotence had a cottage as his abode.

Outside, there was a lake, fully stocked with a variety of fish. There was a vegetable garden, with plants growing high and strong. The inside of the cottage was simple. There was a bed, a soft chair with armrests. There was a kitchen. There were bookshelves from wall to wall. And there was a writing desk with some pencils, a few notebooks, a computer and a more spartan chair than the one used for reading.

Raballo sat in the reading chair, reviewing the book he was writing. It was a satire on how the government and military were willing to ignore ethical concerns in their attempt to safeguard the security of their country. He was quite proud of the concept, particularly since it had resonance in the real world, and might even be possible one day, if advances in prosthetics contiued. He'd even wrote himself into the story and, in a fit of humor, had mentioned his book to Claes.

He was proud of the ongoing story and was happy looking it over. Sighing contentedly, he decided a direct visit to his creation would round out the day.

Stepping out of his 'author fiat'ed' dimensional portal Raballo saw...

Triela dead from a car key to the brain.

Hillshire dead from a head injury inflicted by swinging a machine gun.

Angelica dead from a knife blade thrown at her neck.

Christiano alive and in hiding.

Franca, Franco and Pinocchio alive and apparantly taking some sort of extended tour of Italy.

Jean dead from gunshot wounds.

To keep score:

Triela's character development has been robbed of a proper conclusion.

The development of Hillshire's relationship with Triela has been permantly derailed.

Angelica's far more dramatic death scene has been forestalled.

A terrorist big bad who was never intended to be long term is now alive and waiting for more character development and screen time.

(I have to go. I'll post more later.)

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Fri 20 Jun 2008 - 10:53

Franca and Franco need to grow and evolve. They can't keep doing the same things and just grow old and stale.

Pinocchio, too, is in danger of repeating his previous development indefinitely. Raballo, who wanted to focus on the girls, now needs to take corrective action to ensure that Pinocchio, Franco and Franca change and stay interesting if he wants an audience. Since characters who get too much attention eventually become boring, Raballo also has to keep the girls in mind. He killed them off to avoid that sort of juggling act/migraine.

Jean has been robbed of the chance to develop into a complex, tormented character. Also, now Raballo will have to explain what Rico's doing now that she doesn't have a cyborg. He didn't have that piece of development in mind.

Beatrice is running around desperate to hijack screen time. Raballo was going to devote time to her. Honest.

Elsa and Lauro are back from the dead and looking for scenes to feature in, when everyone nows that things are going to end exactly the way they did the first time.

And to top it all off, the pilot episode of the new show that started this mess is a blatant copywrite infringement. A mediocre copywrite infringement.

Raballo assessed the damage to his plot threads in openmouthed shock. everything he'd been planning on adding was ruined. (Well, not everything. He did have this idea for a new girl who was older, and a different kind of cyborg, and full of fanservice-y goodness. But the other, less interesting plot threads were sunk.) He'd have to either struggle through this mess or forcibly correct it. He really hoped his editor appreciated the trouble he was going through over this.

Raballo's mouth tightened. He was going to have a talk with the scriptwriters for Struggle Across a Porcelain Road. With author fiat he could get the entire might of the SWA, the Cabineri, SISDE (Note to self: find out what SISDE is, Raballo thought) the military police, the GIS, the army the navy, and the air force, and spectral minions, (hey, the manga doesn't say that Jean wasn't talking to Enrica's ghost) and he could force Pino, Beatrice, Franca, and Franco to stop opposing his will.

In the meantime Raballo decided that, since couldn't do his other plots, he was going to go forward on his idea for a new, older girl, a former ballerina who would be called Petrushka. Since he didn't have anything else to focus on, Raballo decided he would devote all his books to Petrushka and other cyborgs like her until he could get everything back on track.

Smiling slightly, Raballo stepped back to his cottage and began to write...

Far away, in the dead of night at a Russian dancing school, a 17 year old girl named Elizabeta woke up screaming. It took three hours and tranquilizers of a strength commonly used to sedate elephants before she calmed down.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Wed 25 Jun 2008 - 12:32

(Animation is shown by italics. Words in normal form denote something that's happening while the camera is not rolling.)

Franco, Franca and Pinocchio, waited in front of the check-in counter of a German hotel. Behind them, families with tired kids and drooping parents waited for their turn to check in. off to the side, newly registered hotel guests shuffled to their rooms, bellhops carting the thick suitcases and smaller duffle bags up the stairs. Franco, Franca and Pinocchio moved up to the desk, dragging their luggage with them.

"Wait. Aren't we all notorious terrorists? What are we doing in a public place?" Pinocchio asked.

"Oh, come on. It's not like our faces are publicly recognizable. Franca and I are known by reputation. You're known by rumor. No one here is going to know what we look like," Franco countered.

"We all got seen by Hillshire and Triela in Montalcino," Franca reminded Franco gently.

"fine," Franco relented. "If you see a police officer cover your faces with these," he continued, handing Franca and Pinocchio two newspapers. Franca took hers dubiously while Pinocchio accepted the proffered papers with noticeable disgust. "This is ridiculous. Wanted criminals aren't going to hang out in busy hotels. We should be in hiding, not not having a layover at a public hotspot. Our show is supposed to be realistic within the parameters it's set for itself."

"Hey, I gave you the newspapers, didn't I?"

"At least you had the good sense to not make this episode take place in Italy. That would have been completely over the top. Though coming to Germany did ruin the atmosphere of cultivated beauty and melancholy tragedy."

"At least we all a reason to speak German, being covert ops and all," Franco replied defensively.

"Can we please go? The sooner I can put this bag down the better. This thing is heavy. What did you pack in it, Franco? Rocks?"

"Hey, people, do you think you could continue with this scene before I turn fifty? I'd like to collect my paycheck, you know." The man at the check-in desk sound annoyed enough that Franco bit off whatever defensive comment he was about to make.

"Hi. I'm Franco, and my friends are named Franca and Pinocchio. We'd like two rooms, please," Franco took care of check-in, handing the man at the desk a credit card. The hotel employee smiled good-naturedly. Pinocchio slapped his hand on his forehead. "Good to meet you, Franco. You got some interesting names in your coterie," he laughed. "By the way, why is the boy called Pinocchio? It...seems a little weird to be honest."

"His adopted father, Christiano, thought that it would be symbolically appropriate." Pinocchio's other hand joined its partner at Pino's forehead. Franca, meanwhile, kept shifting back and forth on her feet.

"Heh. Bet he got teased about that as a kid. Just like you and Franca. You sound like opposite sex versions of eachother."

Franco smiled. "He isn't here with us, but at least our friend Bruno the Fixer's name sounds mostly normal." Pinocchio removed his hands from his head, braced them against the counter, and smashed his head against the top of the desk.

"Can we finish, please? My arms are starting to get a little tired." Franca smiled tightly.

"Just hold on to it for a little more, okay? I'm going to have a bellhop take everything else to our room."

"The bag's important to the plot," Franco, explained, breaking character.

"Then why don't we take turns holding it," Franca panted out.

"Just hang on, you can put it down in a second."

"See you," the check-manager waved to them as they walked off. "It was fun talking with you. You have such neat names, I'm going to gossip about them to everyone I meet, starting with the security guards."

"See? That wasn't so bad," Franco told a tired-looking Franca as they sat on a lawn chair near the pool. "Now we just enjoy ourselves while my aunt and uncle get here. Airplane delays made them late for the show."

"That damn duffle bag is in my locker cubby, Franco. It had better be important."

"It is vital to our very souls, Franca," Franco promised. Pinocchioo walked up. "Sorry to interrupt you, but I want to know if I look conspicuous." Franco looked at him. Pinocchio looked like a walking armory.

"You should just take your knives off, Pino. We're safe here," Franco reassured him.

"John Doe told me that a true assassin is never without a weapon," Pinocchio responded solemnly.

"I can hold them for you if you'd like," Franca offered.

"That's okay. I'm going to leave them with my stuff."

Pinocchio came out of the locker room a minute and a half later, bereft of his weaponry. "All set," he assured his friends, sitting down at the front edge of a lawn chair.

"I know you're anxious about being unarmed," Franco began.

"Oh, I'm not unarmed," Pinocchio answered.

"You're not?" asked Franca.

"Yup. John Doe told that a true assassin always carries a weapon, and that a true assassin is always resourceful."

"But you don't have any place on your body to keep them," Franco said.

"That's what a normal person would think," Pincchio told him. Before Franco could question him further, Pinocchio stood up. "I'm going to swim. See you later." Pino walked off, oblivious to the hole he left in his lawn chair.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by West Nile on Wed 25 Jun 2008 - 23:12

J the Drafter wrote:In the meantime Raballo decided that, since
couldn't do his other plots, he was going to go forward on his idea for
a new, older girl, a former ballerina who would be called Petrushka.
Since he didn't have anything else to focus on, Raballo decided he
would devote all his books to Petrushka and other cyborgs like her
until he could get everything back on track.

Smiling slightly, Raballo stepped back to his cottage and began to write...

Far
away, in the dead of night at a Russian dancing school, a 17 year old
girl named Elizabeta woke up screaming. It took three hours and
tranquilizers of a strength commonly used to sedate elephants before
she calmed down.

That sounds like something Yu Aida will do!!

J the Drafter wrote:Pino walked off, oblivious to the hole he left in his lawn chair.

:lollol: Laughing

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by ElfenMagix on Thu 26 Jun 2008 - 19:29

:lol!:

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Guest on Thu 26 Jun 2008 - 20:05

Thanks for the reviews, guys! I feel proud that people are enjoying my work.

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Re: Underappreciated No More, 'Minor Characters' Strike Back!

Post by Nachtsider on Thu 26 Jun 2008 - 21:31

Now that reader reaction has shown itself to be overwhelmingly positive, J, the next logical step would be to re-format your entries and publish them proper.

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There may be no peace for the wicked, but the righteous can damn well get a piece whenever they feel like it.
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